Dr.Theresa J. Covert - The Gaslighting Workbook: When Reality Isnt Real - The Most Effective Methods to Avoid Mental Manipulation and Trust Yourself Again After Psychological Abuse

Y ou wouldn't be reading this book if someone wasn't causing problems for you, or maybe it's because you know a friend or family member who's suffering at the hands of another person. You may be feeling very confused, have tried to work out exactly what that person's doing and why, and you've just got to the point of exhaustion... Possibly, you're feeling guilty because you can't seem to control your life or your emotions. You may also feel yourself blazing with anger when you think of things that have been said and done to you - yet you're wondering what, if any of this, is your fault!

You are here because you believe you've been lied to or bullied and confused. And the other person denies everything. The problem is YOUR problem, they say - or imply. Apparently, you're living in "Cloud-Cuckoo Land," a ridiculously perfect world where you, and only you, think that things aren't as they should be. To add insult to injury, they won't even listen to you for a second, and you begin to feel that Cloud-Cuckoo Land has a locked gate! To keep you in... but why does a utopia need to shut you in?

This is a workbook to help people who've fallen victim to the technique known as GASLIGHTING. To explain it briefly: gaslighting is when someone tries to question, deny the truth of, ridicule, contradict, play games with, and just simply CONFUSE their victim. There are several reasons why some people employ this technique. Some use it to gain control over their victims; others use the victim to meet emotional, physical, or financial needs, or for vengeful purposes, or out of jealousy, or just for the fun of it.

Victims of gaslighting may be confused and frustrated, feeling ashamed of their reactions or wondering if they are going crazy, and it's all part of their imaginations. Is that you? Have you ever had the words "It's all in your head!" shouted at you before? Have you tried to get someone else to listen to your experiences, only to hear the same words?

Gaslighting can happen in different situations to people at any stage of life. Although we often think of it in marriages and intimate relationships, it can and does occur at work, or between people who are supposed to be friends; in families, at school, in the military forces, in shared accommodation - etcetera. Your colleagues can gaslight you or other colleagues; it could be your parents or the boss doing it to you. On the other hand, workers can do it to their employers, children to their parents. It can occur in group settings and public life. That last situation is somewhat different, and this workbook is mainly about one individual manipulating and confusing another. However, there are surprisingly common signs of gaslighting, wherever it happens, so it will still be relevant.

It doesn't matter if you find yourself in a position where you are being gaslighted, have been in such a position, or are new to this topic; this book has been written to help you see the truth and identify the signs. If it turns out that you're not being subjected to this type of manipulation, you will be able to accept that calmly and learn how not to be a victim of such an act in the future. If you are a victim, you will find helpful information and take yourself through several stages, reflecting on what you've learned. You'll recognize and understand gaslighting and start working on your life to become stronger, more focused, and happier within yourself. Once you achieve this, you can take control of your life again and be immune to further manipulation.

Once you start to see more clearly, you will breathe a sigh of relief!

Right at the beginning, let us start with an exercise. When you talk to someone about your problems, the first thing you do is to "get it all off your chest." Here, you can do that on paper so you can, with the guidance of the chapters and exercises you will go through, listen to yourself... and understand what's been going on.

EXPRESS YOURSELF BY BRAINSTORMING: AN EXERCISE TO START CLEARING YOUR MIND

To help you to understand what's been happening to you and going on around you, I'll start by getting you to do a BRAINSTORMING exercise. "Brainstorming" is when you speak or write every thought that comes to mind on a given topic. You don't censor it, or worry about what you come up with, or wonder what it all means, for now. Just get it all out and onto paper! If you prefer and can record your voice, you can just as easily talk to yourself about each topic.

You have a diagram for your guidance. There are two circles: one labeled "THE OTHER PERSON" and a second labeled "YOU."

In the first circle, there are four topics where you will brainstorm about the person you think is manipulating or lying to you, gaslighting you, or whatever the truth may be, about things they have said and things they have done. Anything other people seem to be doing - to back up or agree with what that person says or does - also goes in this circle. Things that just happened and seem to be connected to that person go in here as well. I shall explain each one later.