Sam O. Opeche - Dont Get Married Until You Are Single

Dont Get Married Until You Are Single

...not everyone can accept this truth about marriage.

Sam O. Opeche

Copyright 2018 Sam O. Opeche

The moral right of the author has been asserted.

Apart from any fair dealing for the purposes of research or private study, or criticism or review, as permitted under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988, this publication may only be reproduced, stored or transmitted, in any form or by any means, with the prior permission in writing of the publishers, or in the case of reprographic reproduction in accordance with the terms of licences issued by the Copyright Licensing Agency. Enquiries concerning reproduction outside those terms should be sent to the publishers.

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ISBN 978 1788033 800

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A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

Matador is an imprint of Troubador Publishing Ltd

DEDICATION

The Marriage Workshop began on 14th July 2016, our 16th wedding anniversary.
And about a year later, our followership grew to over thirty six thousand people on Facebook.
Without you (our fans), therell be no need for what we do on The Marriage Workshop.
It is you who make our services valuable!
Thus, I dedicate this book to you all for giving me and my team the privilege to serve you.

Contents

Appreciation

To my life-mate , Elizabeth Opeche who has brought one hundred percent of herself into my life; thus, I call her Mine!

We were out shopping for her wedding dress at Allen Avenue, Lagos, Nigeria in 2000. The lady who owned the bridal shop was talking to someone on the phone and she kept saying, Mine, I think thats a very good suggestion, Mine, Im not sure I can make it for that time. Mine this, Mine that! You could tell whoever was on the other end of the line was special to her. So, at the till we couldnt help but ask her who she was talking with on the phone earlier, and she said, Its my husband; why?

You kept calling him Mine, we said.

Oh that, she laughed! Thats our pet name; I call him Mine and he calls me Mine she said.

Then Elizabeth (who was my fiance at the time) said, Do you mind if we adopt that pet name from you?

You are more than welcome to adopt it and make it yours. So yes, we adopted it! And have since come to realise that its an uncommon pet name. Thank you, Mrs Anozie, for letting us adopt your pet name, Mine!

My wife is my first assessor and she does a pretty good job of that. She doesnt fail to let me know that shes doing it all for our good, and I just love her for that because she knows just how to bring out the best in me even when I sometimes cant see it coming. She read through my manuscripts and challenged me to make key improvements to my work, and I am grateful for this. Thank you!

The rigours of life can easily overwhelm anyone, but knowing that someone has got your back, no doubt gives you the confidence to march on.

To my three precious children, Nehemiah, Esther and Lisa, thank you for letting me do my thing. I am often away on tours a lot, but I dont ever miss the road when I am with you guys because you make me feel at home. I am really proud of all that you guys have achieved academically and your mum and I are confident that history has a page with each of your names on it. Cant wait!

Esther, my ten-year-old daughter, who has a serious knack for reading and writing proof read for me in part. Heres how it all happened. She was sitting next to me on a flight to Spain. I was reading through my manuscript for corrections and punctuations, and as I turned the page (not even aware she was reading it), she said, Daddy!

Yes, I said.

Are you correcting errors in your manuscript? I said yes! Theres one I spotted on the page youve just turned, she said. So I turned back to the page and she pointed at it with her instructor-like finger. It was glaringly obvious. How could I have missed it? I wondered! Anyway, I turned to thank her for being sharp and spot on and she had that self-assured, childish smile of Dont worry about it, Daddy; its okay, Im only doing my job.

When I told her mum about it, she said, Tell you what, I think you should let Esther check your manuscript throughout. Shes very good at spotting mistakes, you know. A wise man listens to his wife, so I agreed.

One morning, after shed begun the exercise, she said to me, Daddy, its very good; well done.

Wanting to know more, I said, Thank you, but why do you think so? Wait for this!

She said, I really like the scripting and the way youve arranged it, but there are some minor punctuation mistakes. But dont worry; I am sorting them all out.

No wonder people always say she took after her mother.

Shes in the process of publishing her first book, so please look out for her.

To all those who have believed in me and allowed me to continue to nurture my potentials, thank you. To all our viewers and subscribers on The Marriage Workshop, thank you for letting us into your hearts to be a voice of reason and counsel. I have learnt a lot from talking with many of you; and without you, this book would perhaps not have been needed.

Thank you.

Prelude

Fifteen key truths youll find in this book

That you dont have to be married to be happy in life, but you will be happily married if you first discover your singleness on time before marriage

That some of the loneliest people on earth are married couples

That the discovery of your singleness and the cultivation of the virtues youve discovered are your strongest assets for a fulfilling marriage

That your lack of discovery of your singleness and your inability to cultivate your virtues will be your greatest downfall in marriage

That your capacity to receive love is directly proportionate to your capacity to give love

That you cannot love someone else until youve learnt to love yourself first!

That marriage is the only partnership where each party contributes 100% of their virtues to make the union fulfilling

That marriage is not the cure for singleness, but singleness is the only cure for divorce

That love is badly misunderstood by the majority of people because most people think that true love revolves around romantic expressions

That contrary to popular views, marriage is not compulsory

That you will only find bliss in marriage after you have qualified for it through the process of singleness

That to be single should be an important goal of any married person

That singleness should be a prerequisite for marriage

That your marriage will never be better than your singleness

That your marriage will never be better than who you are

Chapter 1

Introduction

Today, we live in a world where information and knowledge are at our fingertips: a feat that is made possible by giants like Google, YouTube, Wikipedia, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and the like. Most assuredly, you can call up data on any and every subject just by the touch of a screen. The advancement has been so rapid that if you slept off about twenty years ago and woke up to this contemporary world of ours, you would be blown away by how we earthlings now live.

On the go, fast-paced and information-driven is how we now live.

Though the towns, streets and houses are still there (which is okay), society is hardly recognisable, and it would seem that the very same things, information and knowledge, that should emancipate us are also having a negative effect on us. The truth now has so many faces that you can hardly recognise it, let alone understand it. Suddenly, everyone has something to say about something and anyone can say something about something of which they have little or no knowledge. Thus, truth that should be simple and easy to understand appears complex, confused and chaotic.