Domonique Bertolucci - The Daily Promise: 100 Ways to Feel Happy about Your Life

For Sophia and Tobias

The most important relationship in your life is the relationship you have with yourself.Because no matter what happens, you will always be with yourself.

DIANE VON FRSTENBERG

P eople often say to me: You seem so happy and cheerful, dont you ever have a bad day? Of course I do. I wouldnt be human if I didnt. But what I dont do is let the way I feel about my day change the way I feel about myself.

Most people are looking outside themselves for ways to feel good on the inside. Thetruth is that although they are the only person who can build their confidence up,the way they think and act is doing nothing but tear it down.

If there is anything Ive learned in my forty-something years its that nobody elsecan make me feel good or bad about myself. It is up to me to decide how I want tofeel and Ive decided that, regardless of the details at any given time, Im goingto feel good.

I was a naturally confident child but, like everyone else, my life has had its shareof ups and downs, celebrations and cruel blows.

One of the most formative of these came when I was ten years old. During that yearI moved to a new school and was subjected to a campaign of bullying that still hasthe power to reduce me to tears. Way back then, I made a decision about the impactI would let this experience have on me. Despite the vile things this bully was sayingand doing, deep down I knew I was a good person. If she couldnt see it that washer problem but I wasnt going to allow her false perspective to alter my own viewsabout myself.

I decided to feel good about myself.

This decision has stood me in good stead throughout my life. It gave me the courageto stand up for myself the next time I was bulliedthis time at work. It motivatedme to end a relationship that many said I should stay in but that I knew wasnt rightfor me and it fuelled me with the energy I needed to walk away from a high-flyingcareer and follow the road that led me here today.

My decision ensured that a series of painful miscarriages, each one breaking my heart,never broke my spirit and it has continued to carry me through the disappointmentsand setbacks that come with any life well lived.

Way back then, I made a promise to myself. I promised I would always do what I hadto do to feel good about who I was and the life I lived. I knew this was my responsibility;I would never let anyone bring me down and I wouldnt wait for someone else to makeme feel good either. And I was going to take this responsibility seriously.

All these years later, I still do.

When I wrote The Kindness Pact, I wanted to explain why it was so important to bekind to yourself; to treat yourself with love and respect. How by doing so you wouldbuild your confidence, nurture your self-esteem and have more energy to do what youwant to do and be who you want to be.

This book invites you to put the Pact into action by making a series of promisesto yourself. Over time these daily commitments will create a fundamental shift inthe way you feel about you and your life.

You could sit down and read this book from cover to cover but its greatest gift isas a daily guide. Choose one page each day and put that promise into action. It doesntmatter if you do this in sequence or choose a random page. What matters is that youdo it and keep doing it until the promises described become the way you truly feel.

You deserve to feel good about who you are and the life you live. Make that yourpromise today.

If you would like to learn more about getting the life you want and loving the lifeyouve got, you can sign up for my free training course Life: make the most of yours,download The Kindness Pact Workbook and access a range of other free resources atdomoniquebertolucci.com.

You can download The Daily Promise app from the iPhone app store and get your DailyPromise delivered direct to your phone.

F eeling good about who you are and the life you live shouldnt depend on a specific outcome, yet all too often I hear people put themselves down or beat themselves up because they havent done this or got that. Your confidence shouldnt be dependent on the goals you have achieved, nor should it be dependent on the feedback you get from others, your dress size or the amount in your bank account. But if your self-confidence isnt based on what youve got or what youve done, how do you build and maintain it?

The answer is simple. Make the commitment to treat yourself with the same kindnessyou show the most important people in your life.

The key to feeling good about who you are and the life you live is built on thispact the Eight Promises. Each affirmation in this book represents a different promiseand explains the role it plays in building and maintaining your confidence and self-belief.

When you commit to the Eight Promises, your life you will no longer be burdened withanxiety, doubt or insecurity and instead you will feel good about who you are andthe life you live.

I am perfectly imperfect.

There is no such thing as perfection and yet so many people exhaust themselves anderode their confidence in the pursuit of it. When you accept your imperfections,you acknowledge that, like everyone else, you have many positive qualities but thatyou also have other, less positive ones and thats okay.

Once you have released yourself from the burden of perfectionism, you are free touse your positive qualities to their fullest. You can also decide which of your less-than-idealqualities you would like to invest your energy in improving and which qualities everyoneelse will need to accept as part of the parcel.

I always do my best and my best is always good enough.

When you set impossible goals that you have no real chance of achieving, you aresetting yourself up for failure; when you promise to always do your best you areable to have much more realistic expectations of yourself. Your sense of self-worthwill no longer be dependent on outcomes and you will feel good about who you areregardless of what you have or havent been able to achieve.

When you truly believe your best is good enough, you can accept that you are havinga bad day, or feeling a bit ordinary, without this affecting the way you feel aboutyourself.

I have no need to see myself as more or less than anyone else.

Comparing yourself to others will always leave you feeling inadequate. Even if youfind yourself thinking that you are superior in some way, this will only give yourself-esteem a short-term boost.

When you stop comparing yourself to others, the only person you will need to impress is yourself. You will be able to source your confidence from within and it will nolonger be affected by anything anyone else says, does or has.

I fully expect my life to be happy and rewarding.

Not only is worrying a big waste of energy, it also sends a clear message to yoursubconscious about your expectations in life. Instead of worrying about things thatmight never happen, when you believe in your potential, you are able to focus yourattention and your efforts on making the things you