How to Live a Good Life
2 Books in 1: Take Control of Your Life, Eliminate Negative Thinking, Relieve Anxiety, Improve Your Social Skills, Self-esteem and Confidence with the Habits of a Happy Brain
Tony Sanders
Copyright 2020 Miky Rubini
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Contents
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Now, let s roll up our sleeves and get down to business! I know you re going to love what we re about to do
F*ck Your Negative Thoughts
7 Steps to Get Out of Your Head and Start Living an Awesome Life
Tony Sanders
Introduction: Mindset Over Matter
One thing Ive noticed about most self-help books is that theyve got the help down, but persistently overlook the self. Too often they market positive thinking as some sort of ancient magic we modern humans have lost touch with. According to the scores of empty advice floating around, all you have to do is assert your happiness every morning and voil! Youre successful. But the world doesnt work that way. It never has, and it never will. Something those guides persistently leave out is that to ordinary people, positive thinking is the most difficult thing in the world. How could you ever hope to look to the bright side, when one seemingly does not exist? I mean, just take a good look at the state of the world. One investigation by Business Insider found that not only are problems like depression, anxiety and substance abuse on the rise for Millennials; the effects of such are as severe as the Vietnam war was to its generation (Hoffower and Allana Akhtar, 2019). The cost of living has significantly increased, while the quality of life is slowly but surely deteriorating. Were on the brink of world war, climate change is doing its best to kill us all, and for minorities, every day is a struggle for acceptance.
Not to mention that our personal struggles count too. Maybe youve lost your job or are grieving the loss of a loved one. Perhaps your relationship has come to an end, or health problems have plagued you.
There are countless reasons to be filled with negativity. So, when life throws lemons straight at our faces, our first thought is never, Oh gee, time for lemonade. Our instincts are to duck and cover, safe in the comfort of resignation and defeat, hoping that when we get up again the lemons will have retreated.
Ignoring the lemons wont help. Repeating a daily mantra about how the lemons wont get you down wont help. Even if you have the tools and desire to turn them into lemonade, it wont prevent the lemons from flinging themselves at you. All it would be is revenge because they had the nerve to attack you. Its not problem-solving, nor is it self-improvement. If anything, its still defeat.
So how, then, is it possible to truly remove negativity from your life?
Honestly, its not. The bad will always be there. The trick is to not let it affect or change you. What youre going to have to do is get yourself a baseball bat (or any impact weapon of your choice), learn how to wield it, and beat those bloody lemons to oblivion with it. As you can imagine, this will be a tiring, messy, and most importantly, continuous process, but with practice, it will become second nature. You taught yourself to be a negative person, so you can teach yourself to be a positive one instead. The seven steps listed in this book are the ingredients to the delicious cake of positivity you so desperately want to indulge in, but theyre no good on their own.
Ill use a real cake as an analogy. You can go out and buy every single ingredient, measure them out by spoonful, mix them with all the culinary talent in the world; if your oven doesnt work, your cake is going to flop. The same applies to self-improvement. Positive thinking for the sake of it doesnt mean a damn thing if you have a negative mindset, and thats the biggest problem of all.
A mindset is defined as your fundamental attitude, one that typically influences your beliefs and behavior. Your life (or circumstance) is not what you should try to change. You are. If not, youll be a physically healthy, disciplined, bubbly soul who follows the rules and sees the best in everything, yet goes to bed miserable night after night.
So, if youre looking for an easy way outthat magical spell that wards off the demons of ill-fortuneyoure probably not ready for this book, and it wont be much help to you. Consider putting it on hold, and returning when you feel that you are capable of changing yourself.
However, if youre completely exhausted from feeling the way you do and are willing to put in the effort required to actually be positivenot just think that you arethen you, my friend, are about to experience the real magic of positivity.
Chapter 1: Maintenance
Imagine that youre on a road trip. The journey is a long, tedious one and youll be on the road for many hours, days even, maybe. Youre well on your way, but your car starts running low on fuel. Theres a gas station right ahead, but you choose to ignore it. You stretch your fuel as far as you can because youre silly and irresponsible. Further along the road, your car runs out of gas, and you find yourself stranded. Its not the end of the world, because you have options. You could walk to the closest gas station, or even push your car there if you have the strength; you might be able to call roadside assistance and wait to be rescued, or you can leave it up to the universe and hope that a kind stranger will come along to help. No matter what you choose to do about your situation, it wont change the fact that you put yourself in this position because you were irresponsible enough to ignore your gas gauge.
This analogy gets the point across, but its an unlikely scenario because most people have the good sense to fill their tanks when they can. The sad reality is that most people dont have the good sense to maintain themselves with the same level of consideration.
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