Mike George - Dont Get MAD Get Wise: Why no one ever makes you angry!

Based in the Cotswolds and London, Mike George is a best-selling author, spiritual teacher and management tutor.

In a unique blend of insight, wisdom and humour, Mike brings together the three key strands of 21st century emotional/spiritual intelligence, management/leadership development and continuous learning. His retreat-style leadership courses in the Cotswolds, and one-day intensive courses in London, run monthly and include; Liberating Leadership; The Missing Link in Management Development: Spiritual Intelligence at Work; Emotional Intelligence; and Conflict Resolution.

As a teacher of meditation and spiritual development for over 20 years, Mike guides and coaches individuals, executives and small management groups in over 30 countries in the art and practice of meditation.

He is the founder of The Relaxation Centre ( www.relax7.com ) and Director of the Spiritual Intelligence Unit ( www.SpiritualIntelligenceUnit.com ). Each year he leads regular awareness and enlightenment retreats across the world including Africa, Australia, Argentina, Brazil, Chile, Croatia, Germany, Italy, Mexico, Scandinavia, Spain and throughout the UK and USA ( www.awarenessretreats.com )

Now in 15 languages, his other publications include: The 7 AHAs of Highly Enlightened Souls; The Secrets of Self Management; Learn to Relax; Learn to Find Inner Peace; In the Light of Meditation A Guide to Spiritual Development; 1001 Meditations.

Mike can be contacted at mike@relax7.com and a schedule of his seminars and talks can be found at www.relax7.com/diary

If you would like to subscribe (free) to Mikes Clear Tinking weekly email please send your request to mike@relax7.com

As you mak e your way through the three main sections, youll notice that I dont call on academic authority or on todays therapeutic specialists. I also avoid the more ancient authorities of the various religious or philosophical scriptures. I do this because I recognise you as the real authority in your own life. Dependency on the beliefs of others, however attractively expressed, can make you lazy. You have the capacity to fully understand and transform your anger, rediscover the power of your own peace and realise for your self the true way of forgiveness.

There are no techniques and no tools that can replace the power of realisation to transform the essential self and free you from the illusions, delusions and confusions which keep you stuck in old patterns and habits of self-created suffering. We are all emotionally suffering now, even though we may not be aware of it, even though we may have renamed our suffering as necessary, even good, as many have!

By all means practise breathing techniques, relaxation exercises and even the most recently publicised emotional freedom techniques which involve tapping the meridians that run through your body. They can all bring relief to the symptoms of emotional discomfort, but none can deliver a lasting cure. That requires a process of seeing, feeling, knowing and being the truth, being your true self. That takes time, regular introspection and the patient practice of meditation, which is not so much a technique as a deepening of self-awareness.

Part One sets out what I have come to see and understand as the real causes and consequences of anger.

Its probably best to declare my hand from the outset. For me, anger kills, full stop. If it doesnt kill your body, it murders your capacity to be creative. And thats the very purpose of your life, to be creative. Anger is never healthy, never positive and never justified. Many books, seminars, philosophers and so-called experts on the human personality have argued that anger is a natural, biological and psychological response which fits neatly into human survival and the evolution of the species. While I accept that as a point of view, while I can understand why some have that belief, I dont agree with any of them. From a spiritual point of view, which means a view based on what is absolutely true, anger is never ever healthy, natural or useful. I used to be very angry, I used to get very angry and I used to celebrate the anger of others. But after some time I realised it was draining and counter-productive. I realised that anger is the enemy of the peaceful, contented and fulfilling life. It totally destroys the ability to create meaningful relationships and consistently good work. If you are a believer in the necessity of anger, I ask you only to stop and reflect deeply and see if you can see how it is a huge obstacle to your own contentment and fulfilment, and how it influences the contentment and fulfilment of those around you. Keep an open mind. Let me know if I am not being clear.

Part Two is an exploration into the nature of peace and peace as our nature.

Just as the poison of a snakebite has an antidote, so too the venom of anger has an antidote, which is a combination of truth and peace. These are the two things, the two inner conditions, that never ever leave you. Both abide eternally within each one of us. You already know the truth about anger and you can invoke your inner peace at will. Its just that you lose awareness of what is true and forget the practice of calm. Anger is a sign that you have lost awareness of the truth of who I am, and that something is blocking your access to the peace of your heart. Not your physical heart but your spiritual heart. Peace is also married to love and you may have noticed that it is impossible to feel loving and angry at the same time. In fact it is love that heals your spiritual heart, that you your self have wounded by your anger-driven habits over time. While most of us search for love and peace from the hearts of others, it means we have not yet realised that we already have what we seek within our own hearts. To heal the scars of anger, which can range from violent rages to simmering resentment, it is essential to rediscover the truth of who are and the peace of what you are.

Part Three focuses on forgiveness and the other most common responses to any sense of personal hurt.

Youll need to be sitting comfortably with a very open mind for this, as it ultimately reveals the deepest truth about anger, why no one ever makes you angry and the idea that YOU have never been angry! Most cultures acknowledge forgiveness as a good thing to do. Most religions encourage its practice. But the deepest truth about forgiveness is that you never need to do it because you have never been wronged. To believe you have been hurt is mostly an illusion. Paradoxically however, in order to break free of the grip of the illusion that you have been wronged and hurt by another, and to realise the truth that you havent, you will need to forgive your way there. In order to forgive your way to freedom from all hurt, you will need to understand and accept the utter futility of the anger itself, and then recognise the irrelevance of the learned forgiveness response towards those whom you mistakenly believed made you angry.

Its the third round of the mens singles during the annual festival of smash and volley at Wimbledon. Greg Rusedski is one set up and cruising to victory. At a crucial moment half way though the second set, a member of the crowd calls a ball out. The umpire thinks its a line judge, so he accepts the call and Rusedski goes berserk. The British number two loses the point and the plot. The red mist descends and the nation hears a series of expletives directed at the umpire. Rackets are smashed as he falls apart and loses the match. In the interview that follows, he honestly admits his opponent did not win the match as much as his anger lost it. It is a classic example of how anger, sometimes referred to as the incendiary emotion, destroys concentration and kills performance. And yet, when the exact same series of events happens to the Federers and the Agassis of this world, they are almost totally unfazed and simply get on with the game. Tennis is a great metaphor for life. Both are a game, both feature highly unpredictable events to which we have to respond, and both are a lot of fun, until teeth are clenched, eyes bulge and faces redden.