Rolf Nabb - From Bitterness to Happiness: A Quick Guide to Dealing With Lifes Disappointments

From Bitterness to Happiness

A Quick Guide to Dealing With Lifes Disappointments

ALSO BY ROLF NABB

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Dating Sense: The Practical Way to Meet, Date and Marry the Right Person

From Bitterness to Happiness

A Quick Guide to Dealing With Lifes Disappointments

Rolf Nabb

Artrum Media

From Bitterness to Happiness: A Quick Guide to Dealing With Lifes Disappointments. Copyright 2012 by Rolf Nabb .

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission. For information go to www.artrummedia.com.

Published by Artrum Media.

eBook ISBN13: 978-1-938107-11-5

eBook ISBN10: 1-938107-11-X

Disclaimer: This book is not intended to replace medical advice or be a substitute for a psychologist. The author and the publisher expressly disclaim responsibility for any adverse affects of this book. Neither author nor publisher is liable for information contained herein.

For those who want to be happy.

Contents

From Bitterness to Happiness

If you want to get into a bad mood quickly, just spend some time around a bitter person. They just hate everything. It doesnt matter what good thing happens for someone else, they are always going to see the negative. Inevitably, they will scorn and tear it down. They are never happy for anyone else and will just make you feel horrible about yourself. It goes without saying that these people are jealous, but what they possess goes beyond your average run of the mill envy. They dont just get a little twinge of resentment when something good happens for someone else. They get angry.

The bottom line is that there are people who are bitter and they are hell-bent on making sure that everyone else feels as badly about life as they do.

I certainly hope that youre not one of these people.

Regardless of your station in life, youve most likely been disappointed by something. It can be big or small, but theres always something that you wanted that you couldnt get. Or once you got it, it was taken away from you. It can be a job that you didnt get, a relationship that went unrequited or the loss of a loved one. Regardless of how tragic and heartbreaking a life event can be, most people can process, grieve and move on. However, some cant. And when they cant, they turn bitter. When this happens, they will not only dramatically negatively impact their lives and future, but also the ones around them as well. They will change. And not for the better.

I know that youve probably been around a bitter person. Everyone has. Theyre always complaining about something. They are never happy and their negativity grows and spreads to everyone around them. It is infectious not in just how it also turns other people around them negative, but also in how it drives people away. Eventually, they end up alone because no one wants anything to do with them. This feeds their bitterness even more. After this, they cant even stand themselves and become shells of their former selves. The light goes out in them, so to speak, and they are no longer positive individuals.

Are you one of these people? If youre not yet, its possible that you could become this way because bitterness has a way of creeping in. Whether its a series of rejections in your love life or a failure to get a promotion, anger and jealousy can breed to the point where your whole life is consumed with the things that you didnt get or were taken away from you. This disappointment becomes the one constant in your life to which all subsequent events refer. Its then that you become the person that I was describing earlier: The bitter person that no one wants to be around.

But if you are a bitter person, take heart. Theres hope, especially if you have the presence of mind and sense of self-awareness to know that you are a bitter person. This is evidence that youre in better shape than most. But in order for this to happen, some changes in how you think will have to occur.

I am not going to presume to think that your bitterness isnt something that is perfectly reasonable regarding your circumstances. I am not going to judge you because I know that something horrible may have happened to you or to one of your loved ones. Yes, I know that you might be absolutely justified in your bitterness. However, what Im trying to do is help you to no longer be that bitter person. I just want you to know that if you want to improve, you have to move on. You have to realize that your bitterness will never make you happy. It serves no purpose except to tear you down and downgrade the rest of your life. Isnt it enough that you were cheated out of something very important to you? Do you want to keep being affected by the negative events? Look at it this way: Life is short. Dont you want it to be as pleasant as possible?

One thing to realize is that a lot of bitterness doesnt come from failure or tragic events; it comes from not trying to succeed. From not trying to realize dreams. I know a guy who always wanted to be a comedian. From childhood, he cracked jokes and put on skits and made no secret that this was his goal in life. However, after he reached adulthood, he followed his fathers advice and abandoned his dream. He subscribed to his fathers idea that the best thing he could do was work in a factory and be one of the fellas . His father told him that the noblest route in life was that of the blue collar, hard working man. His father instructed him that he should never aspire towards anything, not even being a supervisor and especially not comedy. He took this advice to heart and never even tried to work towards his goal. As a result, hes now probably one of the most bitter people I know. He starts rumors about people who make the effort to do something with their lives. He makes fun of people who try to accomplish things and he is just a generally nasty person. Oddly enough, he wasnt ever really that funny. He just thought he was. He probably would have failed had he actually made the effort to be a comedian. However, he never tried. He never even gave himself the chance to fail. He was never able to find out that he wasnt very good and get over his dream. He never moved on. Now, no one can stand him.

Another area where bitterness springs from, other than the obvious ones of loss and disappointment, is jealousy. If things arent working out for you or you have experienced great loss, its easy to look at someone else and think that they have it better than you. You ask yourself, Why do good things happen to them and not me? You cannot do this. It will drive you crazy. When you do this, you are merely looking at the surface of events and filling in the rest with your mind. You have no idea what people have gone through or the misery that they are experiencing in their lives. They dont tell you everything. You never see the whole picture. You are choosing to only look at the good stuff and not the bad. For all you know, someone is doing the same thing to you. Yes, even though you might be a miserable, bitter person, there is possibly someone in your life who is looking at you and thinking, Man! Theyve got it so good! Why cant my life be that easy? Can you see how ridiculous this kind of thinking can be now?

But how can you get over bitterness? How can you overcome disappointment? How can you be happy again? Losing something or someone or not attaining something or being thwarted in your dreams can be crippling. No, it can be devastating. So, how can you overcome this? Its not easy, but it can be done. Im not going to be flip and say that you have to merely get over it. This is simply not possible in most cases. What you need to do is to start reevaluating your life and the first step in this is that you have to take the long view of things. You have to assess where you are in your life and look towards the future. You have to ask yourself if this bitter person youve become is who you want to spend the rest of your life being. You have to ask yourself if you want to continue to tear down other people and situations. You have to ask yourself if you want to be the person who people hate to be around because youve always got something negative to say. You may think that youre the only one who is seeing things the way they really are, but are you? You have to realize that your viewpoint as a negative, bitter person is just as limited as those you think are too stupid to see otherwise.