Rolf Nabb - How to Be Happy When Other People Are Making You Miserable: A Quick Guide

How to Be Happy When Other People Are Making You Miserable

A Quick Guide

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How to Be Happy When Other People Are Making You Miserable

A Quick Guide

Rolf Nabb

Artrum Media

How to Be Happy When Other People Are Making You Miserable: A Quick Guide. Copyright 2012 by Rolf Nabb.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission. For information go to www.artrummedia.com.

Published by Artrum Media.

eBook ISBN13: 978-1-938107-07-8

eBook ISBN10: 1-938107-07-1

Disclaimer: This book is not intended to replace medical advice or be a substitute for a psychologist. The author and the publisher expressly disclaim responsibility for any adverse affects of this book. Neither author nor publisher is liable for information contained herein.

For the bothered.

Contents

How to Be Happy When Other People Are Making You Miserable

Heres a scenario for you:

You go to your favorite place. Lets say its a park, a bar or your favorite restaurant. Youve been looking forward to doing this for a long time and at finally, you arrive. Its so pleasant and you are so happy to be there. You sit down and begin to enjoy yourself.

But then you notice him.

The guy whos talking just a little too loud. Maybe hes drinking too much or maybe hes just a rude individual. You start to get uncomfortable, but you continue on. You get a small feeling of unease. However, you ignore it. Youre here and youre going to have a good time. Its hard, but with a great amount of concentration, youre able to do it. You block him out. You dont pay any attention to his shenanigans. It doesnt have anything to do with you. Hes just a guy whos annoying other people. But all of sudden that changes. While you thought you were sinking into the background, he has noticed that you arent giving him the attention he wants. He then turns his focus to you. He begins to invade your space. Hes just a little too interested in you. He started out as a seemingly nice guy, but things go downhill quickly. Whether he starts talking to you or attacking you, the effect is the same. The feeling of unease you got turned out to be accurate. Your day is ruined and hes transformed your happiness to misery. Now, you just want to leave.

And what about this: Youre having a good day and you decide to log on to your favorite social media site. Youre going along reading all the happenings and postings of all the people you know and all of a sudden you notice that one of your good friends has posted some terrible things about you. For no good reason. You try to post something back, but the more you post, the more the rumors spread and the more the situation escalates. Suddenly, you look like a crazy person. A miserable crazy person. You didnt ask for it, but the result was the same. A random person has come along and ruined your day.

Isnt this what happens to most of us? At least some of the time. We try to mind our own business and have a happy life, but due to circumstances out of our control, other people and situations interfere. While the scenarios I outlined earlier can be taken either literally or metaphorically, the results are the same. Other people are simply making us miserable. They cause us harm psychologically and this chips away at our self-esteem until were nothing more than a quivering, nervous mass.

Well, maybe its not that bad, but you get my point.

Whether its unintentional or on purpose, one of the biggest sources of misery is other people. Just think about it, there are people out there who just love misery. Your misery. They want to make your life into a living hell. It seems as though their dedicated purpose in life is just to make you unhappy. Its like you are the focus of their life and they will not stop until you are the most miserable person in the world. I know Im being a little facetious and just a bit overdramatic here but when someone is set on ruining your happiness, it can sure feel like this.

And this doesnt just happen to you, it also happens to the rich and famous. In fact, there are bloggers who appear to have no other purpose than to make celebrities miserable. They seem to target certain celebrities or people in the spotlight just for the sake of belittling them or subjecting them to snarky comments. Once they start, other people join in and they have a grand old time tearing this poor person down. I know that by choosing to be in the limelight, celebrities are asking for attention and not all of it is going to be positive. However, they are still human beings and human beings dont always want to be reduced down to a subhuman level. I also know that most these bloggers and writers would start crying like babies if they were subjected to the same treatment, so why do they do this? Why do they make it a point to attack these people that they dont even know? Is it jealousy? Who knows? I know that these bloggers and writers need to drive page views and ad sales, but there is a price to pay and its usually the self-esteem of their subject. The point is that they want to make someone else miserable and they usually do.

This is the same thing that happens to most people in life, but on a lesser scale.

So why would someone try to make you miserable? Why would someone make it their mission in life to undermine you and your confidence in yourself? Youre just a regular person working a regular job. However, this doesnt matter. Miserable people are at work everywhere. In fact, there are probably even more of them at work in regular jobs than in higher-level positions. The fact of the matter is that everywhere you work, there are people whose sole source of entertainment is making you miserable. They want to make their presence known. They are bullies and their methods of bullying can come in different ways. Some of them are obvious, like the guy I mentioned earlier, but others are sneakier. They start rumors on you behind your back. They try to make other people think youre incompetent. Or they might take the opposite approach and come to you and tell you all the bad things other people are saying about you. They tell you that the boss hates you and this makes you afraid that youre going to lose your job. They do all this in spite of the truth and by the time they are finished, it no longer matters what the truth is. The damage is done. Regardless of the technique, this interference in your life can really undermine your self-confidence.

And these are the people who dont like you. What about the people in your life that you care aboutyour family and friends? Strangely enough, while these folks profess to love and care about you, they sometimes seem intent on making you feel just as badly about yourself as your enemies. Even though they dont usually dont intend to cause you harm, the result is the same and they can make you feel equally miserable. They most typical cause of this kind of misery can come from guilt. Your family and friends can place a great deal of it on you when they make you feel that you dont do enough or dont care enough or conversely that you do too much or care too much and interfere in their lives.

And heres another one: Sometimes, people in your life are working to make you miserable and you dont even know it. They smile to your face, but behind your back, they are tearing you down to people who know you. This in turn causes other people to treat you badly. Its all just a bit too much to think about but it happens. I personally had the experience of someone starting rumors on me and after a lot of headscratching on my part, I was finally able to trace it back to a person I had considered to be one of my best friends. Naturally, I confronted him on it and while he denied it, he later threatened to do it again if I dared to make it known just what he had been doing. When I asked him why he would do such a thing, he responded to the effect that