Terri Ann Leidich - For a Grieving Heart

A Gift for a Heart That is Grieving

I do not know what you are going through... none of us can really know unless we walk in your shoes. But I care and I want to care in a way that supports you and acknowledges your pain and struggle. My hope is that this book will help put words to your emotions, give feelings to your confusion, and lend hope at a time that must feel hopeless.

For a Grieving Heart

2010 Terri Ann Leidich. All rights reserved.

All images are copyright of the author and are also reproduced here in the spirit of publicity. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, digital, photocopying or recording, except for the inclusion in a review, without permission in writing from the publisher.

Published in the United States by BQB Publishing

(Boutqiue of Quality Books Publishing)

www.bqbpublishing.com

Printed in the United States of America

ISBN 978-0-9828689-4-2 (h)
ISBN 978-1-937084-86-8 (p)
ISBN 978-0-9831699-5-6 (e)

Library of Congress No. 2010934526

Book cover design
by Darlene Swanson
www.van-garde.com

Book interior design
by Robin Krauss
www.lindendesign.biz

In grateful acknowledgment to my dear friend, Katie Hollinshead, for helping me understand that the poetry I wrote during my intense time of grief has a purpose and a message all its own.

A special thank you to my husband, Glenn Leidich, and my friend, Bill Hollinshead, for the beautiful photography that speaks right to our hearts.

From My Heart to Yours

None of us asks for grief, yet every one of us will at some time in our lives feel its sharp fangs and suffer from the aftermath of its attack. When my son was killed in an accident at the age of 20, my world as I knew it collapsed and I was thrown into a black hole of grief that felt like it would devour me. Because writing is a passion and a refuge, I wrote... and the poetry in this book is a result of some of that writing.

While the poems in this book are about the loss of a child, a son, grief is universal in that its many twists, turns, and emotions are similar whether youve lost a child, a parent, a spouse, or a friend. To help you in your grief, personalize the verses Ive written to reflect your loss and your pain, to express your agony or your confusion. Use these words in ways that work for you.

When I was caught in the darkness of grief, I just wanted to know that someone understood because it often felt as though no one seemed to grasp the life-changing, enduring pain that I was going through. I also wanted to be assured that I would survive the experience because I was often convinced that I would not make it through the agony. And I wanted someone to hold on to me during those times that I wasnt sure I wanted to continue on.

My hope is that the words in these poems will help you to know that I do understand and that you will survive. You will change, and that process in itself is painful, but you will endure and eventually move on to fully live life again. Give yourself the time to do that. Love yourself through the process and hold firmly to the love that you have for the one who has moved on from this earth. Let that love be a blanket of warmth during this winter of your life.

Please know that my heart is with you even though we have never met... because those of us who have lost someone precious to us are bonded on a level beyond our understanding. It is at that level that I meet you, I understand your agony, and I support you in your journey.

Terri Ann Leidich

I know my son is in heaven, Lord.
I know my child is with you.
I know you are caring for him, Lord,
but what is a mother to do?

My arms reach out to hold him.
My hands long to touch him once more.
My eyes just long to see him.
My heart is constantly sore.

My life is so lonesome without him.
My dreams are no longer there.
My plans have withered and dried,
but my soul still longs to share.

I know you loaned him to me, Lord
my tiny son so sweet. To feed, to
clothe, to guide, to love
until you called him home
above. But Lord so soon?

I question you.
I had him but a while...
this son so precious and so dear,
my own sweet youngest child.

I was prepared to say goodbye
as he went out the door.
But I really wasnt ready, Lord
that it be forevermore.

Moment by moment
Dear Lord I pray,
Give me the strength
To face each day.

Weakened and grieving
Sunk in despair, I
desperately need to
Feel that you care.

Feelings whirl
and twirl in
a hollow heart.

Empty, alone,
confused.

Searching, pulling,
seeking a greater being,
a higher power,
an answer.

Gentle angel up above
looking down at me
with love.

Cradle me with
loving care
assuring me
youre really there.

Let me feel
your gentle smile
and stay with me
for just a while,

As I adjust to you
up there.
My special angel
in heavenly air.

Deep inside of me
resides a soul.
An empty, hollow soul.
A shell of what I could be,
unseeing of what I am.

A turning, churning soul
swallowed by aloneness
and fear.

A grasping, clinging,
unyielding soul,
waiting to be heard,
filled with pain,
faith, and belief.

Silent angel, hovering over me,
gently placing kisses on my cheeks.

You are such a part of my life now,
how can I grieve that you are gone?

I dont have you in physical form,
I cant feel the strength of your hugs.

But I still feel the gentleness
of your caring and I hear the ring of your
laughter.

I no longer hear your voice with my ears,
I hear it through my heart and soul.

Silent angel hovering over me,
you continue to touch my life.

Weve changed roles, you and I.
I was the one who guided you.

Now you lead me by the hand
softly whispering through my mind,

Thoughts and ideas
that are more like you than me.

God, please hold my son,
since I cant.

Assure him that he is special,
since I cant.

Give him all he needs to grow
and guide him on his way,
since I cant.

And when he does something wonderful,
let him know it,
since I cant.

Enjoy him, Lord,
every special thing about him,
since I cant.

And hold him safe in heavens arms
until I get there,
so I can.