Suzanna Quintana - Youre Still That Girl: Get Over Your Abusive Ex for Good!

Get Over Your Abusive
Ex for Good!

SUZANNA QUINTANA

NEW YORK

LONDONNASHVILLEMELBOURNEVANCOUVER

Youre Still That Girl

Get Over Your Abusive Ex for Good!

2020 Suzanna Quintana

All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, scanning, or otherexcept for brief quotations in critical reviews or articles, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

Published in New York, New York, by Morgan James Publishing in partnership with Difference Press. Morgan James is a trademark of Morgan James, LLC. www.MorganJamesPublishing.com

ISBN 9781642796681 paperback

ISBN 9781642796698 eBook

ISBN 9781642796704 audiobook

Library of Congress Control Number: 2019943961

Cover Design by:

Megan Dillon

Interior Design by:

Christopher Kirk

www.GFSstudio.com

Morgan James is a proud partner of Habitat for Humanity Peninsula and Greater Williamsburg. Partners in building since 2006.

Get involved today! Visit
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For all those women who raised their voices and shared their stories so that I could find my way out of the darkness and into the light, thank you. This book is dedicated to you.

Silence is the most powerful scream.

Anonymous

Y ou chose this book for a reason. More than curiosity, something compelled you to open it up to this first page. Youre hurting and you havent been able to explain it not to friends, not to family because you dont even understand it yourself. After all, youre not in the relationship that was killing you any longer, right? So why is it you cant just move on? Why is it so hard to put the past behind you? Maybe youve even begun to feel a bit crazy or like there is something wrong with you. People in your past told you that you were too emotional and too sensitive; so, what if they were right? What if youve convinced yourself that it is all in your head and that somehow, in some way, the fact that you cant move forward (or if you do its followed by ten steps back) is actually all your fault? On some days you might feel sick, as if your pain has manifested physically. You find yourself staring out windows, searching for hope but feeling void of any. And on those particularly grueling days, you believe your life will never get better and that this is as good as it will ever get.

There is a reason you chose this book.

Now take a deep breath, because youre not alone anymore.

I see you. Ive been you. Ive lived in that same darkness, on the verge of surrender to life as I knew it, believing it would never get any better and I deserved all the pain I was suffocating from.

And Im here to tell you something. Im here to tell you the truth, and the truth is that it does get better . You can move on past heartbreak and enjoy a life of peace and happiness and love that youve always dreamed about. In fact, a life that you deserve. This darkness you exist in now is lying to you. Those voices in your head that tell you youre crazy or weak or need to grow a thicker skin are not yours. Theyre imposters masquerading as someone you used to trust and love and would even have died for.

The light is trying to get in right now as you read these words on the page but you cant yet feel its warmth because youre trapped in an illusion that only benefits the one who broke your heart. Maybe you left recently or even months ago, or you were discarded by someone you loved with all your heart and the pain refuses to go away. Maybe you even went back once (or more) but then reached your breaking point and decided to never return, though you cant make sense of why it hurts so bad. Maybe youve been out of the relationship for more than a year but youre still feeling the aftereffects: youre still emotionally attached and unable to move on because of this attachment. Or maybe you think that youve moved on but now youre involved in another relationship that is causing you a similar pain.

This is the illusion that prevents you from stepping fully into the light that is patiently waiting for you and has a space reserved with your name on it. Here in this space, your unconditional honesty and raw vulnerability are required. But to claim it, you must be willing to travel into those dark places that before youve desperately tried to avoid. Then you need to make good friends, best friends, with the one who holds the key to the door of your journey ahead. She already knows of your suffering, and she also knows the way forward, if only youd take her hand.

But first: Wherever you are in this moment, take a deep breath. Seriously, you need to breathe . I dont care whos around you right now or what chaos youve left behind or are about to head into. You need a long, deep breath.

Im not kidding. Ill wait.

And exhale.

You know that girl Im talking about. The one from your past. The one who had Wonder Womansized courage and couldnt be swayed, bought, or bullied into submission whether she was five or nine or fourteen that girl whose spirit had yet to be trampled, whose instincts had yet to be dulled, whose compassion had yet to be exploited. That girl played and ran and competed right along with the boys in the neighborhood, having yet to be told that she wasnt good enough, strong enough, or worthy enough because of her girl-ness. That girls dreams couldnt even fit into the Grand Canyon because of their scope and size; she wrote secrets in her diary, had more imaginary friends than real ones, and talked to her stuffed animals and also to the moon at night before drifting off to sleep. That girl knew without a doubt who she was, what she was capable of, and what she deserved even if all other outside forces mother, father, sibling, grandparent, friend were trying to convince her otherwise.

Yes, that girl.

And yet in all her wisdom and glorious ways, what she didnt know was the power of time . She didnt know that the years would wear her down, making her unable to bear the onslaught of the people she loved the most being the very ones who would betray her and send her running for cover, until the day she had no choice but to retreat to the deepest and darkest corner of your soul where she still is today.

Now its time to wake her up because youre going to need her strength and wisdom to pull yourself out of the hole youre currently in. Youre drowning and she is waiting patiently on the shore with a life preserver, ready to throw it your way.

So, lets take those initial steps toward the truth, beginning with the reasons you chose this book and have read it thus far:

• You are in pain and you want to stop hurting
• You are ready to look at not only yourself but also those around you with complete honesty, specifically those you are loving or have loved and still feel emotionally connected to
• You are willing to accept that you are a beautiful and worthy being who makes this world better just by being in it
• You are willing to listen to the girl within who has a lot to say (after all, shes kept her mouth shut for a long time)
• And most important: You recognize that you are no longer alone

So take another deep breath, exhale, and even if your mouth wont participate, allow your soul for just this one moment to smile.

Because youre still that girl.

***

Whats the greatest lesson a woman should learn? That since day one, shes already had everything she needs within herself, its the world that convinced her she did not.