Matt Kahn - All for Love: The Transformative Power of Holding Space

Praise for All for Love

This wise, heartfelt book guides us in creating a loving space for ourselves and others in an increasingly divided and volatile world.

Tara Brach

author of Trusting the Gold

A practical blueprint that takes you on an enriching journey to achieve unconditional love through heartfelt communication, while healing our past wounds and eliminating conflict. You will experience rewarding relationships that lead to joy and fulfillment in every area of your life. A must-read.

Anita Moorjani

New York Times bestselling author of Dying to Be Me, What If This Is Heaven?, and Sensitive Is the New Strong

The wisdom, insights, and practices within this book not only hold the key to personal transformation, but they also hold the key to a brighter, more compassionate, and more sincere world. Every reader who engages with this book will be changed, and that change has no choice but to show up in this world in the most beautifully empowered and intentional way. What a blessing!

Kerri Walsh Jennings

three-time gold and one-time bronze Olympic medalist on the US beach volleyball team

Also by Matt Kahn

Whatever Arises, Love That: A Love Revolution That Begins with You

Everything Is Here to Help You: A Loving Guide to Your Souls Evolution

The Universe Always Has a Plan: The 10 Golden Rules of Letting Go

Matt Kahn

Sounds True

Boulder, CO 80306

2022 Matt Kahn

Sounds True is a trademark of Sounds True, Inc.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner without written permission from the author and publisher.

Published 2022

Book design by Linsey Dodaro

BK06385

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Kahn, Matt, author.

Title: All for love : the transformative power of holding space / Matt Kahn.

Description: Boulder, CO : Sounds True, 2022.

Identifiers: LCCN 2021039911 (print) | LCCN 2021039912 (ebook) | ISBN 9781683649144 (hardcover) | ISBN 9781683649151 (ebook)

Subjects: LCSH: Interpersonal communication. | Self-realization. | Resilience (Personality trait)

Classification: LCC BF637.C45 K33 2022 (print) | LCC BF637.C45 (ebook) | DDC 158.1dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2021039911

LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2021039912

To Julie Dittmar:

Your friendship is one of the greatest gifts Ive ever received. Thank you for this journey and for the brand new chapter weve entered.

A s a marker for this exact point in history, I sit here in front of my computer in a world still adjusting to mask wearing and social distancing, reeling from generations of racial divide, and staggered by a violent attack on our nations capital. Whether separated by race, culture, gender, sexual orientation, identity preference, or opinion, it seems the many cracks spread throughout our world have only widened into deeper gaps of social conflict.

While many believe our evolution as a species has placed us at the brink of despair, I see this as a golden opportunity to awaken our consciousness on the largest scale possible. Maybe its the wake-up call this world never knew it needed. What if the current conflicts are actually openings to explore true peace and unity with our fellow human beings? What if, as a way to shift toward a more conscious, compassionate, and interconnected society, we are becoming more aware of the pain that separates each heart from the sum of the whole. Perhaps this is how humanity evolves into the Aquarian Age of collective heart expansionunlike at any other time in recorded history.

As a signpost for these times, each difference we sense in others can become a profound invitation to explore a greater depth of interconnectedness. Instead of spirituality being a topic we quietly discuss in private, the importance of its role in uniting the world continues to spread rapidly across every continent. Of course, with any opportunity for individual and collective growth comes the need for a skill set to help us navigate that trajectory. In order to birth an evolutionary species thats willing to be better than any generation before it, we must be willing to reach within our hearts and give to one another the respect, validation, and encouragement we all deserve and desire. If the destiny of our species is to be more conscious and compassionate, then the skills we are inspired to implement on a daily basis must be equally rooted in the same principles. In that way, we will become the tangible change each of us wishes to see. This is why you are here receiving the gifts that living All For Love has to offer.

Perhaps you are asking yourself, What does holding space actually mean for me and for others? In her UPLIFT article What It Means to Hold Space for Someone, author and teacher Heather Plett says that holding space means we are willing to walk alongside another person in whatever journey theyre on without judging them, making them feel inadequate, trying to fix them, or trying to impact the outcome. When we hold space for other people, we open our hearts, offer unconditional support, and let go of judgement and control.

Rheeda Walker, a clinical psychologist, researcher, and professor at the University of Houston and the author of The Unapologetic Guide to Black Mental Health offers a complementary explanation: Holding space... means taking the initiative, without any prompting, to be empathic to another persons situation or circumstance and making time for that individual to do whatever is needed for them, like voicing hurt, anger, or another strong emotion and receiving whatever they need to communicate in a way that is supportive and nonjudgmental.

The importance of space holding begins with an awareness that all human beings are on journey of existential growth and emotional maturity. Because every living form is a manifestation of consciousness, each is interconnected with a source of loving divine intelligence whose nature is to constantly evolve, grow, and expand. This is why each moment has been designed to place you into situations and guide you through circumstances that help you move from one level of consciousness to the next. While it is the will of each person to decide how often they choose to evolve, the gift of inspired heartfelt support fuels profound healing and furthers the most triumphant breakthroughs in all of us.

When you genuinely offer yourself or others the gift of support, this kindness sends the message that while we are all navigating our own paths, no one is ever as alone as they may feelespecially when they know how to meet conflict with a peaceful, loving response. Because moments of interaction always serve the progress of our highest evolution, each encounter also provides countless opportunities to strengthen bonds of intimacy, whether the results unfold as planned, or they have inspired the stress of unexpected change. The more we learn how to hold space for the transformation of growth expanding within ourselves, the easier it will be to face any difficulty, even when others react from their most insufferable judgments, pain, and fear.