Richard Carlson - The Big Book of Small Stuff: 100 of the Best Inspirations from Dont Sweat the Small Stuff

Richard Carlson, Ph.D.

100 of the Best Inspirations from
DONT SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF

Dedication

I dedicate this book to my daughters,

Jazzy and Kenna,

who remind me every day

how important it is to remember

not to sweat the small stuff.

I love you both so much.

Thank you for

being just the way you are.

Contents

Its hard to believe that ten years have passed since the original edition of Dont Sweat the Small Stuff... and its all small stuff was written. Individually and collectively, our lives are very different from what they were back then. On an individual level, we have grown and matured. Those of us with children or grandchildren have seen them grow up before our eyes. Those without children have watched their friends and families do the same. On a collective level, life is vastly different than it once was. We now live in a post9/11 world. Need I say more?

Then again, it seems, some things never change! We have the same capacity for joy that we have always had, and the same for laughter. And, unfortunately, we still have stress. Some of this stress, of course, is inevitable, just part of lifetheres certainly nothing we can do about that.

Then theres all that everyday stuff to contend withsmall stuffthat is around us twenty-four hours a day. We are lucky because there is something we can do about this: We can learn to not sweat the small stuff.

Whether its being stuck in a huge traffic jam, waiting patiently for a return phone call, watching someone talk with their mouth full, talking to someone who isnt listening, trying to find that lost set of keys, communicating with an officious bureaucrat, enduring unwarranted criticism, or the endless list of other possibilities, we can learn to transcend, and not be stressed by it. All it takes is a little practice, and, as importantly, knowing what to practice. We can learn, quite easily, that life is not the emergency we sometimes assume it to be!

Thats where this book comes in handy. Over the past ten years, I have received a huge amount of feedback about which strategies for dealing with stress work best. It turns out that, although our external lives have changed a great deal during the past ten years, the most effective ways to live have not. We can learn to be less stressed, no matter what small stuff we face.

When our intention is to become more patient, forgiving, lighthearted, and better listeners, we can do that. When our wish is to slow down, smell the roses, cut ourselves and others more slack, we can do that, too. We can also become more loving, compassionate, humble, generous, philosophical, inwardly peaceful, and present. All of this, and so much more, is simply a matter of perspectiveand, of course, a little practice.

This is a book of one hundred of my favorite, as well as the most popular, strategies from the Dont Sweat series. I believe (and hope you will agree) that if you take these strategies to heart, your life will become less frustrating and more fun.

Life has always been, and will always be, a gift. In the absence of excess irritation and frustration, its easier to experience it that way. As our stress is reduced, and as we feel less overwhelmed, the magic of life is renewed. We can see and experience the beauty that can often become invisible, or at least clouded, when we are bogged down with stress, or when little things are taking over our lives. As this happens, our relationships get better, our work becomes more interesting, and we are, most of the time, at peace.

It has been an honor and has brought me so much joy to hear from so many of you over the years. So whether you are a past reader of one or more of the Dont Sweat books, or a brand-new reader, my wish for you is exactly the same: I wish for you a life filled with love, happiness, and very little stress. I believe that there are two simple rules to make this happen: #1) Dont Sweat the Small Stuff, and #2) And its all small stuff.

Treasure yourselves and the gift of life,

Richard Carlson

...and its all small stuff

Often we allow ourselves to get all worked up about things that, upon closer examination, arent really that big a deal. We focus on little problems and concerns and blow them way out of proportion. A stranger, for example, might cut in front of us in traffic. Rather than let it go, and go on with our day, we convince ourselves that we are justified in our anger. We play out an imaginary confrontation in our mind. Many of us might even tell someone else about the incident later on rather than simply let it go.

Why not instead simply allow the driver to have his accident somewhere else? Try to have compassion for the person and remember how painful it is to be in such an enormous hurry. This way, we can maintain our own sense of well-being and avoid taking other peoples problems personally.

There are many similar, small stuff examples that occur every day in our lives. Whether we had to wait in line, listen to unfair criticism, or do the lions share of the work, it pays enormous dividends if we learn not to worry about little things. So many people spend so much of their life energy sweating the small stuff that they completely lose touch with the magic and beauty of life. When you commit to working toward this goal you will find that you will have far more energy to be kinder and gentler.

Ive yet to meet an absolute perfectionist whose life was filled with inner peace. The need for perfection and the desire for inner tranquility conflict with each other. Whenever we are attached to having something a certain way, better than it already is, we are, almost by definition, engaged in a losing battle. Rather than being content and grateful for what we have, we are focused on whats wrong with something and our need to fix it. When we are zeroed in on whats wrong, it implies that we are dissatisfied, discontent.

Whether its related to ourselvesa disorganized closet, a scratch on the car, an imperfect accomplishment, a few pounds we would like to loseor someone elses imperfectionsthe way someone looks, behaves, or lives their lifethe very act of focusing on imperfection pulls us away from our goal of being kind and gentle. This strategy has nothing to do with ceasing to do your very best but with being overly attached and focused on whats wrong with life. Its about realizing that while theres always a better way to do something, this doesnt mean that you cant enjoy and appreciate the way things already are.

The solution here is to catch yourself when you fall into your habit of insisting that things should be other than they are. Gently remind yourself that life is okay the way it is, right now. In the absence of your judgment, everything would be fine. As you begin to eliminate your need for perfection in all areas of your life, youll begin to discover the perfection in life itself.