Carlson - Dont Sweat the Small Stuff with Your Family

Whether its with your kids, your spouse, parents, a relative, a teenager, a sibling, or some combination of the above, chances are family dynamics are, at times, a little difficult. The familiarity, inevitable habits, expectations, sacrifice, conflicting agendas, quirks, responsibility, and all sorts of other family stuff can contribute to a stressful environment. Plus, family members, perhaps more than almost anyone else, really know how to push our buttons! Add to the family dynamics all the responsibilities and annoyances around the homebills, dishes, cleaning, expenses, piles of clutter, thin walls, yard work, phone calls, pets, neighbors, laundry, noise, upkeep, and so forthand youve got yourself the makings of a nervous breakdown. Lets be honest. Being part of a family is a privilege and certainly rewarding, but it can also be a little difficult, even when things are going well. If you want to have an effective, loving experience of family, you must learn to be patient and to not let the little things drive you crazy and take over your life. There are certainly enough difficult things to deal with regarding family and home life. So, the truth is, if you sweat the small stuff at home, youre probably setting yourself up to be a nervous wreck. To me, this is a very important topic to cover. The stakes are highthe harmony in your home, even your own sanity.

I have written this book to help make life with family and around the home a little easier and, hopefully, more loving. The strategies are designed to address some of the most common sources of frustration and to help bring back the joy of home life that can sometimes get lost in the minor frustrations and busyness of daily living. The strategies are designed to heighten your perspective, patience, and wisdom. They will help you respond to your family and home life more gracefully and with more gratitude and ease.

People who learn to not sweat the small stuff with family and around the home have an enormous edge in life. They expend far less energy being irritated and frustrated and have more left over for having fun and being productive and loving. The energy that used to be spent being stressed out is now focused on creativity and the creation of joyful experiences and memories. When little things dont get to you so much, your family will seem more like a source of joy than ever before. Youll be more patient and easygoing. Your life will seem easier. You will feel less burdened and hassled, and youll experience more harmony in your life. This peaceful feeling will spread and will be experienced by the others in your family.

When you learn to keep things in perspective and become less easily bothered, your days will seem easier and far less stressful. Youll see the innocence in other people and in some of the behaviors that used to drive you crazy. This will make you feel closer as a family unit and more peaceful as an individual. Thus, youll be easier on yourself and less attached to having to have things a certain way in order for you to be happy. Youll have more love in your heart and will share that love with those around you. Finally, youll become less reactive, which will help you bring out the best in those you love most.

Having written Dont Sweat the Small Stuff, many people have asked me, Is it always peaceful around your home? I must confess that it is not! From the moment Dont Sweat the Small Stuff hit the bookstores, my kids, in particular, have held me to a higher standard than ever before. Now, it seems like I cant get away with anything. For example, on more than one occasion when Ive managed to get too uptight or reactive about something at home, my youngest daughter, Kenna, has run around the house holding a copy of the book and yelling, Dont sweat the small stuff, Daddy. Dont sweat the small stuff! My eight-year-old daughter, Jazzy, is even tougher on me than her sister. Recently, she and I were having breakfast on a day I was flying across the country to help teach a corporation to be a little more relaxed and stress-free. While we were eating and having a heart-to-heart conversation, I somehow shifted the conversation and started to lecture hersomething she absolutely cant stand. At some point she stood up. She then put her hands on her hips and said, in a loving but sarcastic tone, Come on, Dad, do you really teach people to relax? Indeed, I admit it. I sweat the small stuff more with my family than anywhere else. And Ill bet you do, too!

None of us is ever going to bat 100 percent, or even close to it, when dealing with our own family and home life. There will always be times when we will feel frustrated or overwhelmed. However, we can make a significant dent. We can make incremental, sometimes even drastic, improvements in the way we relate to those in our family and to the responsibilities of daily living. Indeed, we can significantly improve the quality of our lives as individuals and as a family.

The desire to not sweat the small stuff has become a priority in the lives of millions of people. Nowhere is this more important than around those we love. As we become a little more relaxed and calm, we will avoid the common tendency to take our family and loved ones for granted. Instead, we will appreciate the gift of family and, indeed, the gift of life. As you incorporate these ideas into your life you will begin to create a more peaceful and loving family. I send you and your family my love and best wishes.