Rozella Haydée White - Love Big: The Power of Revolutionary Relationships to Heal the World

This dedication is really long, and Im not even going to apologize for it. It is what it is because relationships form the core of who I am. I would not be who I am nor would I have written this book without the support and love of so many peoplewithout these revolutionary relationships.

To the women who came before me: Rose Ella, the granddaughter of sharecroppers; Hayde Gisela, the daughter of Spanish-speaking Afro-Caribbean migrants; and Diane Frances, the one who first embodied revolutionary relationships. These are the grandmothers and mother who modeled love big.

To the generation coming after me, Jaden Isaiah and Brooklyn Roze, the nephew and niece that I love with all of my heart. I want to make this world a more loving place for you. Remember to always love big.

To my mother, my father, my brother (Diane, Clarence, Cole), the foundation of who I am and how I love today. My family has had our share of trials and tribulations, but we continue to practice revolutionary relationships with each other and have committed to love big.

To the Mo. City Divas (Stephanie, NuNicka, Shannon, Kellee, Rachel), my childhood sisters who knew me when. We grew from girls to grown-ass women who value honesty, loyalty, and a deep and abiding love of God, self, and family. You helped me become, and our relationships led me to love big.

To my Soul Sisters (Beth, Leila, Jen, Andrea, Brittany, Amber, Karin); I wish for every woman to have women in their lives like the ones I have in mine. I wish for everyone to experience women who have covenanted to be in revolutionary relationships, being there for each other in the face of all that life brings. When others disappear, my Soul Sisters remain. They spoil me with their love. They always have my back. They call me out on my shit. They remind me to never play small and to go after every dream I have. These women have shown me that I will never be alone and continually remind me of my belovedness. They love big at all times and in all ways.

To my Peeps (Andrea, Tuhina, Jason); we came together for the United Nations Commission on the Status of Women in 2015. Weve stayed together because of our deep love for one another, our common experiences with depression and anxiety, our unrelenting pursuit of justice, and our love of liquor. You love me big, and I am always reminded of who I was created to be through our revolutionary relationships.

To the Hedge (Nadia, Neichelle, Jes, Rachel, Nichole, Winnie, Mihee, Emily, Jeff, Kerlin, Austin, Jodi); you always need people in your life who push you to the next level not just mentally but also emotionally and spiritually. Our vocations brought us together, and the Divine Feminine keeps us connected. I figured out that I could be both wild and holy because of you. The Hedge breathes life into me and embodies divine love without apology.

To my brothers from other mothers (Brady, Chris, Jonathan, Eubie, Yehiel, Shawn), the men in my life who show me unconditional love and support; men who model for me what loving relationships look like with their partners, their mothers, and their children; men who are in touch with their vulnerability; men who love big, without shame.

To my mentors (Peggy, Angela, Hazel, Mary, Reesheda); these are the people who impart their time, wisdom, and resources on my life. They make it a point to speak life to me, at all times, and empower me to be the woman leader I am today.

To the Lovers (unnamed). Youve taught me the most important lesson of all. If I dont love myself first, then Im not loving big. In the words of Ariana Grande, thank you, next.

I grabbed my phone, some headphones, and my Great Dane and bolted out the front door into the bright Colorado sun before I totally lost it. I was in the middle of the worst part of writing a bookthe part where you are sure you are a miserable fraud who will never pull off such a scam. The part where you have no idea how to say what you have in your heart. The part where you stare at a blank computer screen for days on end and try to convince yourself it counts as writing. My confidence was shot, and I was sure that I had taken on the impossible.

Zacchaeus pulled at the leash. I changed the playlist on my phone to something angry and quickened my pace, hoping to pound out the insecurity in my head with the quickness in my feet. Halfway through Nirvanas Smells Like Teen Spirit, my phone rang. I swiped right to answer, because it was Rozella.

You see, Rozella has what I lack: an unwavering faith in me. As you read this book and see that she says that she believes in people, I am here to say that it is true. To be in a relationship with Rozella is to be loved and loved big.

I get that you feel this way, Nadia, she said with her typical conviction and warmth, but its just a feeling. And you know whats bigger than feelings? Truth. And the truth is that God would not call you and then fail to equip you. I promise that you already have access to everything you need.

When she then asked if she could pray for me over the phone, my reply was, Fuck you for making me cry in public, Roze! I mean... yes, please.

When Rozella speaks into someones life, she draws on a source that is not just her; she draws from the source. Her blessings and prayers over others come from the heart of God, as if she can reach into our created place, the place in us that is connected to the one from whom we came, the place in us that still hums with the vibration of a mother Gods song to her beloved babe-in-arms. Rozellas relationships are revolutionary. She is a world-class encourager, but not the bullshit tell-you-what-you-want-to-hear-so-you-will-like-them kind. She is the tell-you-what-you-need-to-hear-because-this
bankrupt-world-has-stolen-our-original-song-from-us kind. When she says something encouraging, I believe her. You can, too. And sometimes she makes you cry when youre walking through your very own neighborhood even though you hate that kind of public vulnerability. And sometimes her loving, healing, and true words empower you to actually do the impossible. And then you go back home, hang up the dogs leash, and get back to work.

Enjoy my friend Rozella. But keep some tissues handy.

Nadia Bolz-Weber