Deborah Smith Pegues - 30 Days to Taming Worry and Anxiety

Please listen and answer me, for I am overwhelmed by my troubles.

P SALM 55:2

I have done countless analyses during my career as a financial executive; however, until a couple of years ago, I had never done a stressor analysis in which I listed the situations or people that were bringing pressure to bear upon me and evaluated the extent to which that pressure was impacting me. Stress is our biological response to the pressures of life. The pressures do not necessarily have to be negative to have a negative impact on our bodies, nor must they be the things that are the obvious. I had assumed that things that kept me the busiest would be the primary stressors, but that did not prove to be true. Here are the results of my analysis:

Mothers housing and health care issues

My eternal weight loss battle

Inability to find qualified employees

Balancing the increasing demands of my dual careers

My husbands tentativeness about his career objectives

As I pondered my stressors, I objectively categorized them into those I could impact and those outside of my circle of influence. In addition to the major stressors, I also had minor stressors not caused by external situations, but rather by my traditional thinking and entrenched attitudes. While my mothers situation caused me the most concern, I knew that due to certain home ownership issues and her insistence on living in her familiar but problem-ridden environment, I could do very little to make an impact. Therefore, I had to develop an effective coping strategy. I have learned to segment and delay my mental preoccupation with certain situations when other stressors demand my attention. I call it managing my sanity. God has given me the grace to do it.

My dual career was beginning to require most of my attention. I had felt for the past two years that my season was up as the chief financial officer of the church, but I just couldnt bring myself to tell my boss, even though my husband and others who were sensitive to the voice of God were pressing me to do so. I loved the Bishop. He was the most endearing boss I had ever had. My experience with him was nothing like the horror stories I had heard from my counterparts in other ministries. He rarely called me at home, and if he did, he was very apologetic about it and genuinely needed something that could not wait. I worked crazy hours because I felt that he and the church deserved the same level of effort I had given to companies I had worked for in the corporate world. Notwithstanding, the work never seemed to be done. The job had taken its toll on my health. It was time to take care of myself and time to obey God. Over a two-year period, I had no fewer than ten different highly respected Christian leaders strongly encourage me to go into full-time ministry. I did not want God to have to drag me kicking and screaming to my destiny, so I finally mustered enough courage to tender my resignation. It took five Kleenex tissues for me to tell the Bishop. I cried for the entire month leading up to the final date. I had worked many, many 16-hour or more days. I had even postponed a couple of needed surgeries because I could never find an extended period to be away from the office. I had not realized I was so emotionally invested in the place until I faced the reality that I would no longer be there.

We had built this awesome $66 million cathedral, and I had signed the check for every single item in it. It was featured in several popular magazines. Further, my husband and I had sacrificed and made a significant financial investment in the project. I felt a serious sense of ownership. I knew God was saying, Okay, mission accomplished. However, I just wanted to settle down and enjoy the fruit of my labor. Plus, I had finally become comfortable with my expertise of every aspect of our operation. It did not seem right to let it all go to waste.

Many times the path to Gods perfect will for our lives requires us to make various transitions. For example, to get to San Diego, California, where I often speak, I have to travel on Interstate 10 for a few miles, transition to the 110 Freeway for several more miles, and finally transition to the 405 Freeway for more than 100 miles before I reach San Diego. Obviously, I would never get there if I remained on I-10. Transitions are sometimes mandatory if we want to achieve our destination.

So it is with our ordained destiny. We are created with free will, which is not to say that God does not have a special plan for our lives, yet it is we who act outside Gods will, therefore missing the blessings He has for us. Many times God is saying, Time to transition to the next path. But we respond, Im very familiar with this route. Cant I just stay here and still reach my destiny? Then we have the audacity to become frustrated or blame God when our goals seem to elude us.

I had to get real about my stressors, and yes, the idea of the transition was weighing heavily on my mind. Being a CPA, I resisted the natural temptation to do a detailed analysis of the impact of taking my income out of the household budget. I truly wanted to make a faith decision rather than a financial one. I do not recommend this approach under normal circumstances. I simply had the personal assurance of the Holy Spirit that God was going to do exceedingly and abundantly above all that I could ask or think. Further, I knew that all of our needs would be met no matter what my husbands career decision was going to be. So I took the plunge. God has been faithful to His Word and we have not missed a beat financially.

Have you taken the time to analyze your stressors? I suggest you find a quiet place where you will not be interrupted for at least 30 minutes. Make a list of every situation stressing you. Include everything from the annoying friend who competes with you to your messy, irresponsible teenager whom you love with all your heart. Now rank each one from most to least stressful. Meditate on what God would have you do in confronting these situations. You might also want to discuss some coping strategies with a trusted friend or counselor.

T ODAYS S ENTENCE P RAYER:

Father, please give me the wisdom to deal with the things that bring pressure to bear upon me so that I may respond Your way and bring honor to Your name.

The one who hears my words and does not put them into practice is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. The moment the torrent struck that house, it collapsed and its destruction was complete.

L UKE 6:49 NIV

No structure can withstand the winds of adversity without a solid foundation. Our lives are no different. We must build them on a firm foundation if we expect to withstand the innumerable pressures of daily living.

Our lives are very similar to a stool that has a base and four legs. The base is our spiritual foundation, which consists primarily of prayer and the Word of God. The legs represent the financial, relational, mental, and physical aspects of our lives. Each leg must be strongly connected to our spiritual base in order for it to stand and be strong. Not one leg can stand alone and disconnected. For example, the financial leg must be managed according to biblical principles of giving, integrity, hard work, and so forth. If not, you will experience stressful situations, such as too much debt, bad business deals, and fiscal chaos. The relational leg must also be handled according to biblical principles or we will not have the power to exercise unconditional love, forgiveness, or long-suffering. Our mental well-being is directly proportional to the extent to which we embrace Gods Word and allow it to regulate our minds and emotionsand keep us in perfect peace. A strongly connected physical leg empowers us to treat our bodies according to the principles of the Word; we get proper rest, eat right, and engage in overall health maintenance. You get the picture. The strength and success of every facet of our lives will be determined by the strength of our foundation. If the base is weak, there is no hope for the legs.