Various - Making a Marriage: 7 Essentials for a Strong Relationship

Copyright 2007
by Beacon Hill Press of Kansas City

2014 eISBN 978-0-8341-3454-6

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, or any otherexcept for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior written permission of the publisher. If you have received this publication from any source other than an online bookstore, youve received a pirated copy. Please contact us at the Nazarene Publishing House and notify us of the situation.

Continuing Lay Training Unit 423.10A

Printed in the
United States of America

Cover Design: Darlene Filley
Interior Design: Sharon Page

All Scripture quotations are from the Holy Bible, New International Version (NIV). Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Making a marriage : 7 essentials for a strong relationship / compiled and edited by Larry R. Morris.

p. cm.

Includes bibliographical references.

ISBN-13: 978-0-8341-2301-4 (pbk.)

ISBN-10: 0-8341-2301-0 (pbk.)

1. MarriageReligious aspectsChristianity. I. Morris, Larry R., 1955

BV835.M22455 2007

248.8'44dc22

2006032837

Contents

Its just not working! Here we are married for less than a year. Our lives are full, but our marriage is empty. What a starting point for a young Christian couple who shares a love for God but find little time to grow the love God has given them for each other.

The children are gone and so am I were her last words. Her husbands jaw dropped as she stomped past him and out the door. They had shared 29 years of married life, serving in the community, being present in church, and giving their lives to their childrens futures. Now, as soon as the youngest child had graduated from college, the marriage was over.

With stories like these becoming increasingly common for professing Christians, it is easy to see why many believe that the Christian life makes little or no difference in marital satisfaction and longevity and that the rate of divorce is the same for Christians as non-Christians.

These types of stories are repeated by the many couples who march from marriage to divorce each year. However, in-depth and credible studies reveal that the marriages of Christians whose marriages are founded upon biblical principles and supported by the community of faith are substantially healthier and more satisfying than those of couples who try to make it on their own.

Making a Marriage was written to couples who want to maximize their marital satisfaction. It acknowledges the need for both a vital personal relationship with God and a growing relationship with a local church. Making a Marriage addresses the issues faced by new and mature couples from a biblical point of view. Written by educators and licensed practitioners, it is designed to educate, encourage, and promote good marital practices.

According to Genesis, God is the author of marriage. Today, given the value that marriage has for children and society, and the increasing rate of divorce among Christians, it is vital that couples intentionally prepare for the lifelong task of building a Christian marriage.

Making a Marriage contains the foundational principles that help build a strong and lasting relationship. It is an excellent resource to help all couples understand the biblical bedrock of marriage so that they can honor their lifelong vows, improve their relationships with their spouses, and counter our cultures destructive influences.

Family Life Ministries, Beacon Hill Press, and Continuing Lay Training have partnered to offer a book that speaks to couples at all stages of the marital journey. Couples will find help whether they are contemplating marriage; struggling with communication, stress, intimacy issues; or just desiring to make a good marriage better.

Making a Marriage is written by educators and recognized experts in the field of marriage and family. You will find that each chapter is well written and characterized by scholarly integrity, scriptural accuracy, and a holiness perspective.

Available as a free download to book purchasers are two leaders guides (one for laity and one for clergy). Each guide is designed to help couples develop healthy marital skills. Making a Marriage can be used by couples alone or in small groups. Each guide explores the chapters subject through illustrations, dialog, and practical exercises.

In addition to the free leaders guides, you will find other helpful resources and tools at www.clt.nazarene.org. One visit and you will see how you, your small group, or your church can be a part of replacing the destructive cultural trends of our society with Gods original, committed, eternal bond: marriage.

ROGER L. HAHN

SHE WAS THE BABY GIRL raised in a loving, nurturing family. He was the fifth of nine children raised in a stern, unchristian home. She was from the city. He was from the country. She was pampered and cherished. He labored in the fields and struggled for everything he had. She was well educated. He had little opportunity for education beyond high school. She loved classical music. He loved country western.

They met and got married. She was 19. He was 25. She expected roses and romance. He expected home-cooked meals and compliance.

Statistics would say there is not much hope for this marriage. But both loved God and looked to the Bible for guidance.

The Bible does not have a special section entitled Biblical Principles for Marriage, so discovering the biblical principles for marriage is not as easy as sitting down and reading the Bible through. In fact, we discover the biblical teachings on marriage as we read through its pages, often hearing the teaching as the background music when the author is talking about other issues. As we read together, lets listen to the more prominent chords in this important background music.

THE OLD TESTAMENT TEACHING ON MARRIAGE

The Old Testament reveals a significant part of its vision of marriage in the opening chapters of Genesis. Some have stated that, more than any other human institution, marriage goes back to the very activity of God in Creation. But before we proceed, lets look at a general outline of how we will approach Genesis.

Genesis 1: The Relationship of Male and Female

Genesis 2: The Question of Marriage

Genesis 3: Sin and Marriage

Genesis 1

Genesis 1 describes human creation as an extension of the very nature of God. The narrator of the first chapter of the Bible tells us that God said, Let us make humankind in our image, according to our likeness (Gen. 1:26). The word humankind often translated man is adam in Hebrew. The Hebrew word adam means either a human being or humankind. Adam is not used to differentiate male from female, though it is often used in Hebrew culture to refer to a male.

The first statement about humankind found in Scripture is that we are created in the image of God. While there is speculation about what created in the image of God means, it is at the least a clear affirmation of human worth. That worth applies to any human being, male or female.

In Gen. 1:26 God proposes the creation of humankind. In verse 27 we read, And God created the human being in his image, in the image of God he created him, male and female he created them. While not yet describing the marriage relationship, this verse clearly differentiates between the genders, male and female, and reveals that they are bound together in a special way. This biblical proclamation underscores that male and female are both fully and equally human. It also states that both male and female participate equally in the image of God. One is not created more in Gods image than the other. This is not a bad truth to remember when we are arguing with our spouses about the common gender traits that frustrate us.