Dennis Rainey - So Youre About to Be a Teenager: Godly Advice for Preteens on Friends, Love, Sex, Faith, and Other Life Issues

So Youre About to Be a Teenager

So
Youre About to Be a
teenager

Godly Advice for Preteens on Friends,
Love, Sex, Faith, and Other Life Issues

Dennis & Barbara Rainey

With Their Children Samuel and Rebecca

Copyright 2002 by Dennis Rainey, Barbara Rainey, Samuel Rainey, Rebecca Rainey

All rights reserved. Written permission must be secured from the publisher to use or reproduce any part of this book, except for brief quotations in critical reviews or articles.

Published in Nashville, Tennessee, by Thomas Nelson, Inc.

This book was previously published as So You Want to Be a Teenager?

Scripture quotations are from the NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE, Copyright The Lockman Foundation 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977. Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org)

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Rainey, Dennis, 1948
So youre about to be a teenager : Godly advice for preteens on friends, love, sex, faith, and other life issues / Dennis and Barbara Rainey; with their children Samuel and Rebecca.
p. cm.
ISBN 0-7852-6279-2 (pbk.)
1. PreteensJuvenile literature. 2. AdolescenceJuvenile literature. 3. Interpersonal relations in adolescenceJuvenile literature. 4. Sexual ethics for teenagers. I. Rainey, Barbara. II. Title.

Printed in the United States of America
02 03 04 05 06 PHX 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

To Mom and Dad.
Youve made our words in this book
possible by being incredible parents and
impacting both of us so much.
We love you.

Samuel and Rebecca

To my beautiful wife, Stephanie.
Thanks for your encouragement,
support, and love. I love you.

Samuel

To my future husband.
Know that I am patiently waiting for the day
when I will join you in sharing the rest of
our lives together. Until then I will continue
to guard my heart and my purity
ultimately for you.

Rebecca

Contents

introduction
by samuel rainey

So youre about to be a teenager?

Thats exactly where I was not very many years ago. Now Im no longer a teenager (as I write this I am twenty-three years old), and get thisI just got married! Wow, is marriage ever cool. My brides name is Stephanie, and let me tell you, she is phenomenaland incredibly beautiful! We are very excited about our new life together.

Hold on for one minute. Let me sidetrack and tell you a quick story about my wedding. You see, when I was your age, my parents started talking to me about the importance of staying pure until marriage. Well, over the next few years, I made the decision that I wasnt going to kiss a girl until my wedding day. The decisions I made when I was your age really helped me withstand a lot of temptations along the way. And because of my commitment not to kiss a girl until I married, the kiss that I gave Stephanie on our wedding day was awesome! I mean to tell you, it was the best thing that had ever happened to me (besides becoming a Christian and marrying her!). It was the greatest gift that I could give her.

I doubt that I would have ever come up with a commitment not to kiss until the wedding on my own. My parents and others challenged me to some really high standards. I wasnt always excited about those standards, but looking back, it was some of those challenges and commitments that kept me out of trouble growing up. This book will probably challenge you in ways that you may not want to be challenged. So, when you come across a section that you think is off base or even weird, keep reading and keep an open mind! in

This book will probably challenge you in ways that you may not want to be challenged.

I want you to know that the information shared in this book is very important and relevant to you. I can say that, because its not that long ago that I went through all the changes and tests of being an adolescent. Without the wisdom and guidance of my parents and other mentors, Im not sure I would be in such good shape to enjoy life, follow God, and marry my new bride, Stephanie! (Can you tell? Im excited, proud, and happy.)

So, our hope is that this book will prepare you to enjoy your teenage years. Read carefully, because the topics in here will be of great value to your life. But we want to defer to the best guidance book of all, the Bible. That is the single most important book you could read to help you through your teenage life and beyond.

Several Rainey family members besides me worked on this book. My dad, Dennis, and my mom, Barbara, tackled the heavy-duty topics, such as how your body changes during adolescence, and sex. My sister Rebecca (shes in college) and I talk about some of our own experiences with friends, peer pressure, and dating. Rebeccas ideas will be scattered throughout the book in special boxes called Rebeccas Turn. (Why is it the girls in our family always get special treatment?... oops, I kind of lost my focus for a moment!)

At the end of each chapter is what we call Extra Stuff Scripture and questions and a prayer to help you put into practice what youve been reading about. Do this. Its cool!

I think youll enjoy learning what a fun and growing experience being a teenager will be. So without any more introductions, lets start with one of Rebeccas memories of life as a preteen.

rebeccas turn

Life in Elementary School

Was your tenth birthday kind of special?

I remember turning ten and it was the biggest deal ever to me. I was finally a big double digits (10)! I remember how cool it was to actually hang out with my older sister, Ashley, and my big brothers, Benjamin and Samuel. (And by the way, Samuel, the girls dont always get special treatment in the Rainey family!)

That birthday was a big step and a change for me, but there wasnt anything too exciting going on at school.

Elementary school was a great place to have fun and grow up.

Fifth and sixth grades were okay, but life was pretty simple and I dont recall much peer pressure. Sure, some kids decided to cheat on tests, and they sometimes would try to get others to do it. I never did. But there sure wasnt anybody going around saying I should go kiss so-and-so or date so-and-so.

That would happen big time in junior high during seventh grade.

Figuring out your life may seem like putting together a big puzzle without a box top.

The elementary and middle school years were the calm before the storm. Looking back at being a preteen, it was easy compared to the choices I had to face in junior high and high school. A whole bunch of things can change in just a few months during adolescence: your body, your relationships with the opposite sex, your relationship with your parents, and so much more. Thats why Im excited that you are reading this book. We want to help you get ready for all those changes, so keep reading.

the box top

by samuel

rainey

Does your life sometimes seem as confusing as a gigantic jigsaw puzzle? And I dont mean a puzzle thats just twenty pieces cut out of thick woodthe kind you could do with your eyes closed. No, I mean life can feel like a puzzle that has thousands of pieces. I sure felt that way when I was about to become a teenager.