H. Norman Wright - Before You Say I Do Devotional: Building a Spiritual Foundation for Your Life Together

HARVEST HOUSE PUBLISHERS

EUGENE, OREGON

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BEFORE YOU SAY I DO DEVOTIONAL

Copyright 2003 by H. Norman Wright

Published 2015 by Harvest House Publishers

Eugene, Oregon 97402

www.harvesthousepublishers.com

ISBN 978-0-7369-6112-7 (pbk.)

ISBN 978-0-7369-6113-4 (eBook)

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Wright, H. Norman

Before you say I do devotional / H. Norman Wright

p. cm.

Includes bibliographical references.

ISBN 978-0-7369-0922-8 (pbk.)

1. MarriageReligious aspectsChristianity. I. Title.

BV835 .W735 2003

242'.644dc21

2002012589

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Contents

Let no one seek his own, but each one the others well-being.

1 C ORINTHIANS 10:24 NKJV

Let each of you look out not only for his own interest, but also for the interest of others.

P HILIPPIANS 2:4 NKJV

E xpectations. Oh, you have them. And so does your fianc. You may already be aware of them or youve yet to experience a plateful of surprises.

For many couples, their expectations remain unspoken. Many of them are desires. Some reflect a dream or an ideal rather than a necessity. Often, they turn into assumptions: My partner should know what I needwhich never works.

Lets face it. Were all selfish. We have a me attitude about life. Weve learned to focus on what I want, what I can get, and what the other person (in this case fianc) is going to do for me. This attitude runs counter to what your new married life is to behold.

See how author Gary Smalley learned this important marriage lesson:

He was in seminary, was engaged in ministry as a youth pastor, and was in his second year of marriage to Norma. At that time, it was dawning on him that marriage was perhaps not all he thought or hoped it would be. Disagreements and conflicts were increasing. Then he went to a seminar and heard a message that, as he told the story, changed his life. The point that hit home was this: if you are irritated by many things in a relationship, perhaps you are fundamentally self-centered and primarily looking out for your own interests.

Gary had a revelation of sorts about how he had been treating Norma. He expected her to respond to his various needs on his timetable and in the way he wanted.

If you are familiar with Garys work, you know he has a gift for expressing the needs of the soul in graphic word pictures. Upon realizing the depths of his selfishness, he held a funeral service for himself. As he told the story, he got down on his kneesjust God and Garyand prayed, imagining his casket, funeral songs, and being laid to rest in a deep hole in the ground. Six feet under. From there, he felt led to systematically give up to God various things that he held dear. He began to see just how much he had expected everything to go his way in their marriagefrom the car they drove to the apartment they lived in to the priority placed on his work to about what they ate for dinner. Gary said of himself following this event, I wasnt the same any longer. Things were changing about me that I would never have imagined.

If you were to hold a funeral service for some of your expectations what would you bury? Its something to think about.

Questions for Commitment

For You: Describe two or three examples of how you will put todays verses into practice once you are married.

For You and Your Fianc: Discuss what each of you would bury about your past and your expectations if you were to have a funeral service for yourself.

For God: Ask God to show you which expectations are realistic and which need to be discarded. Ask Him to give you opportunities to put into practice these passages of Scripture this week.

Lord, who may go and find refuge and shelter in your tabernacle up on your holy hill? Anyone who leads a blameless life and is truly sincere. Anyone who refuses to slander others, does not listen to gossip, never harms his neighbors, speaks out against sin, criticizes those committing it, commends the faithful followers of the Lord, keeps a promise even if it ruins him, does not crush his debtors with high interest rates, and refuses to testify against the innocent despite the bribes offered himsuch a man shall stand firm forever.

P SALM 15:1-5 TLB

M arriage is a relationship of promises. Promise me is a common request from parents and friends alike.

As you grew up, you might have learned to use promises yourself: I promisereally, or Hey, you promised! or Please promise me you wont tell. Promises eventually become an important part of friendships, showing trust. You even might have exchanged a promise ring with a special friend.

Simply stated, a promise is an agreement to do something or not to do something.

When you make a promise, youre saying, Trust me. You can depend on me. I will follow through. Its not just an agreement on your part, its a commitment. And until this point, every promise volunteered on your partwhether freely given or asked of youwas just the prelude to the promise you are going to make on your wedding day.