Lise LeBlanc - Conscious Grief & Loss Guide

CONSCIOUS GRIEF & LOSS GUIDE

WISH I KNEW SERIES

CONSCIOUS GRIEF & LOSS GUIDE

WISH I KNEW SERIES

LISE LEBLANC

Wish I Knew: Conscious Grief & Loss Guide

Editor: Allister Thompson

Book Designer: Jamie Arts

Published in Stratford, Canada, by Blue Moon Publishers.

Printed and bound in Canada.

ISBN: 978-1-989517-17-8

Wish I Knew: Conscious Grief & Loss Guide. Copyright Lise Leblanc. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted by any person or entity, in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopy, scanning, recording, or by any storage and retrieval system now known or to be invented without written permission from the publisher. Contact: Blue Moon Publishers, www.bluemoonpublishers.com. The format, design and layout used in this book are trademarks and/or trade dress of Blue Moon Publishers.

The views and opinions expressed in this book are those of the author, based on her personal experiences in life and business, and the book is intended to provide inspiration and valuable general guidance, however, readers must consider their own circumstances before accepting the opinions of the author and applying them in their own circumstances. The author makes no representation as to the suitability or validity of the content of this book to the personal circumstances of the individuals who will read the book and will not be liable for any errors, omissions, loss, damage or claims arising from the contents of this book. Where inspirational quotations have been used, the author has used all reasonable endeavours to ensure that the materials are not in breach of copyright and intellectual property laws.

Next Chapter books are available at special quantity discounts to corporations, professional associations and other organizations. For details and discount information, please contact .

CONTENTS

TO MY DEAR DEPARTED FRIEND, CINDY PICHE

ABOUT THE WISH I KNEW SERIES:

We create books that help people through lifes transitions.

OTHER BOOKS IN THE WISH I KNEW SERIES:

GRIEF & LOSS COLLECTION

Conscious Grief & Loss Guide

Conscious Grief & Loss Guide Workbook

Gentle Quotes on Grief & Loss

Grief & Loss Guided Journal

CAREGIVING COLLECTION

Conscious Caregiving Guide

Conscious Caregiving Guide Workbook

Caregiving Insights

Gentle Quotes on Caregiving

Caregiving Guided Journal

OTHER NEXT CHAPTER PRESS BOOKS ABOUT GRIEF AND LOSS:

REMEMBER, ITS OK SERIES

Loss of a Partner

Loss of a Parent

Loss for Teens

ABOUT THE WISH I KNEW GRIEF & LOSS COLLECTION

The Wish I Knew Conscious Grief & Loss Collection offers something for anyone who is experiencing grief, whatever stage they are at.

The Conscious Grief & Loss Guide focusses on conscious grieving and self-care with brief sections that are broken down with tips, practical exercises, reflective questions, and real-life examples.

The Conscious Grief & Loss Guide Workbook is your essential workbook to accompany the Conscious Grief & Loss Guide. Each chapter in the workbook corresponds to a chapter in the guide, including practical exercises, checklists, reflective questions, and more.

Gentle Quotes on Grief & Loss are brief passages for those who are grieving the loss of someone they love.

The Grief & Loss Guided Journal offers a chance to reflect, recharge, and set aside time for your own self-care.

FOREWORD

Lise Leblanc has done it!

Conscious Grief and Loss Guide is a resource that all individuals, grief counsellors, funeral directors, or anyone who is dealing with a death, grief, or loss must have.

Lise Leblanc has provided us with a working tool that goes beyond just explaining the process of grief and loss; she presents practical exercises and reflective questions that allow the reader to come to their own conclusions.

This guide is filled with emotions that are powerful in stories shared with expressions of journeys travelled, and Lise brings with it her years of experience and wisdom.

Conscious Grief and Loss Guide is part of the Wish I Knew Series, and her books bring understanding, comfort, and peace to all that read them.

We need to remove the stigma of grief and loss and learn to understand that each of us travel a different path that no one needs to travel alone, and Lise brings that into each chapter.

Myself, I am truly blessed to have had the opportunity to work with Lise, and Dragonfly Advisory Services will be honoured to share the Conscious Grief and Loss Guide, as well as others in her series, so that our clients have the best resources and tools to start their journey on the right path with grief and loss.

Joy Wirta/Death Doula

Founder,

Dragonfly Advisory Services

INTRODUCTION

In the movie Ordinary People, the Jarretts are an upper-middle-class family whose adolescent son dies in a boating accident. After a suicide attempt, the deceased boys brother begins seeing a psychiatrist for help dealing with post-traumatic stress and survivors guilt. His mother denies her loss, while his father tries to connect with his surviving son and understand his wifes need to pretend everything is normal. The diversity of this familys grief response is quite common. As much as grief is universal, it is also very personal. Even when siblings are sharing in the loss of a parent, friends are sharing in the loss of a mutual friend, or a mother and father are sharing in the loss of a child, their grieving experience is going to be different. Why is it that one mother goes back to work and tries to regain as much normalcy as possible after losing a child, while another can barely get out of bed for years? Why does one husband remarry soon after the loss of his wife, while another cant stand the thought of ever being with another woman? Why do some get through the grieving process better than others? And why do we grieve so differently? Unfortunately, the answers to these questions are not clear-cut.

* * *

As a child, I was sheltered from death. I would often find out about a relatives passing long after they were gone. Granted, they were distant relatives, but when my parents went to the service or to pay their respects at the funeral home, I was not notified or invited. Im not sure I would have accepted the invitation had it been extended, but when one of my best friends died suddenly of meningitis in our last year of high school, I had no experience with death or grief whatsoever. Within two years of her death, two other friends died by suicide. Since then, Ive experienced several other deaths, but of all of these losses, my first experience with grief was the most difficult because when my friend Cindy died, I didnt know how to cope with it. Was it because it was the first loss Id ever experienced? Was it because I was already depressed and going through difficult emotional times? Was it because it was sudden and there was no time to prepare or say goodbye? Or because I had no way to rationalize or make sense of it?

Despite being a healthy, vibrant young woman with so many plans for the future, she was gone. Forever. I would never, ever see her again. Never again would we talk about boys until the wee hours of the night, or swap clothes, or go to college together. At seventeen, I was coming face to face with my own mortality. Death was something that could happen to me just as easily as it had to her. There was no explanation for it. She wasnt old. She wasnt sick (until the week before her death). There was no one to blame. The finality of it was devastating, overwhelming, and incomprehensible to me at that point in my life. As much as I rationally knew that none of us were getting out of life alive, I didnt for one second believe that it could happen today or tomorrow or next week. At least not to someone