Michael Finlayson - Why Men Pull Away in Relationships

Why Men Pull Away in Relationships

Publishedby Michael Finlayson at Smashwords

Copyright 2012 Mike Finlayson

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

Thise-book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This e-bookmay not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would liketo share this book with another person, please purchase anadditional copy for each recipient. If youre reading this book anddid not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only,then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy.Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

AllRights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced inany form or by any means, including scanning, photocopying, orotherwise without prior written permission of the copyright holder.Copyright 2012 Mike Finlayson

Table of Contents

The Birth of yourRelationship Headache

At somepoint your eyes met across a crowded room, maybe you wereintroduced, maybe you couldnt stand the sight of each other butthen you grew close. However you met there was some kind of sparkbetween you, something that drew you together, something that madeyou want to know more. Maybe its a case of opposites attract andyou have embarked on a wild tumultuous relationship, maybe you findthat you have things in common, whatever the reason you looked ateach other and something in you went, MINE.

"Neverassume that the guy understands that you and he have arelationship."

Dave Barry

Althoughit's a bit of a generic statement men do tend to take a long timeto come to terms with their feelings and to realize that being withyou is the best thing that's ever happened to him. You just need toguide him slowly and gently forwards.

As yourrelationship develops you start to get to know each other andhopefully you enjoy your life with each other. Maybe you move inwith each other or maybe you decided to hold on to yourindependence. You are happy, being with each other gives youpurpose in life, and maybe youve reached the stage where maybe,just maybe you start to wonder if hes the one. Unfortunately, justas things start looking hopeful your man, the love of your lifepulls away.

Imguessing that having bought this book your guy has wandered off todo whatever it is that he has to do. If your relationship was goingthrough a rough patch then you would have thought that you couldhave talked things through, but at least it would give you areason, albeit a pretty pathetic one as to why he pulledaway.

As towhy he has done this, good question and your guess is as good asany, in fact there is every chance that hes not too sure as to whyhe has done it. You never know, maybe he needs to go on some greatspiritual journey in order to find himself, it could also besomething as silly as he fears losing his identity. And off coursewhilst hes off on his great spiritual journey its kind of slippedhis mind that there are two people in the relationship, and youreleft wondering just what happened and if you still have arelationship.

If yourrelationship has been okay, if things have being going smoothly, ifyouve not had too many arguments, and if he seems happy then youare going to be wondering whats going on. No matter how much youlove him you could be wondering wheres the point? The chances arethat youve been trying to analyze everything and trying to workout what went wrong, you might even be wondering if its all yourfault and thats highly unlikely!!!

Thething that you need to remember is that just because your man pullsaway it doesnt necessarily mean that he doesnt love you, it couldwell be that he worships the ground that you walk on, its justthat hes terrified about his feelings for you and so off he goes.And yes I know that if you have a problem then you really shouldtalk it through with each other, but hes a man, and if youve notnoticed already, men tend to think differently to your goodselves.

Womentend to be able to be able to make up their minds much more quicklythan men in matters of the heart, so did you try to push therelationship forward too quickly? If that was the case then hecould have felt threatened, he could have felt that you were tryingto push him into something that he was not ready for and so pulledaway. You need to give him time to become comfortable with the ideaof you and him before you try to move the relationshipforwards.

Onething that you need to be aware of is that this could be the end ofyour relationship. Its a sad fact of life that not every couple iscompatible and he, without talking it through with you might havedecided that this is the end and this is his courageous way ofletting you know. Its possible that might be the case but itsmost likely not.

What Iwould say to you is that if you believe that you have arelationship that works, and you believe that it could go thedistance, and it makes you happy, then you have to learn tounderstand your man. If you want this to work then you need tolearn what makes him tick and what scares him. If you want yourrelationship to flourish then you also have to learn how to moveyour relationship forward, without coming across as pushy orlooking as if its you thats dictating how your relationshipdevelops. It is doable, but you have to learn to listen and toobserve.

Dont Waste AnyMore Time on These!

"So manypeople prefer to live in drama because it's comfortable. It's likesomeone staying in a bad marriage or relationship - it's actuallyeasier to stay because they know what to expect every day, versusleaving and not knowing what to expect."

Ellen DeGeneres

It'syour life, it's your happiness, it's your choice.

Thereare men who you dont want to get into a relationship with, and ifyour man is one of these then let him keep on pulling away just asfar as possible, if not further! Obviously when you first meet themthen the odds are that you will have no idea about what they arereally like, its only as you get to really know them that theirtrue character starts to emerge.

When youstart to notice that things might not be all that they could andshould, there is the temptation to believe that you can changethem, and I guess that there is an outside million to one chancethat you could succeed. Unfortunately there are far too many womenwho pour their heart and soul into the relationship, they give somuch of themselves that it becomes difficult to move on, whilst intheir heart of hearts they probably realize that the relationshipwill never work but they keep trying, they keep on hoping thattheir man will change and off course he never does. Please, pleasedo not waste your life in a relationship thats goingnowhere.

I thinkthat deep down everyone wants a committed, healthy, happyrelationship. To build a healthy relationship you have to realizethat you are both in this together, both of you have to be totallycommitted to making your relationship work, and both of you have toaccept that you have an equal responsibility for making yourrelationship work, you cant do it all yourself.

If yourman is not committing to the relationship, if you have to do allthe running then is it really worth it?

I havecome up with 5 rough categories of guys that you dont want towaste your time on:

i. Justhaving some fun. This guy had decided that he wants to have hiswicked way with you, and having had it moves on to his nextconquest. You might be lucky, it might not be just a one nightstand, and he might keep you around to play with until hes foundthe next lucky lady to lavish his attentions on.

ii. Hehas other commitments. This lothario could be married or in arelationship, but hes not yet ready to give up playing the field.More likely than not youll be his quick bit on the side, a quickfumble, a quick moan on how hes not understood by his wife, thenhes back to his domestic bliss. They want you for sex and theyllfeed you whatever story you want to hear in order to keep gettingit. It could also be the case that he has found someone else andlacks the courage to tell you, so instead he just pulls awayleaving you wondering whats gone wrong.