Scott Allan - Rejection Free: How to Choose Yourself First and Take Charge of Your Life by Confidently Asking For What You Want

Rejection

FREE

HOW TO CHOOSE YOURSELF FIRST AND TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR LIFE BY CONFIDENTLY ASKING FOR WHAT YOU WANT

SCOTT ALLAN

Copyright 2016 by Scott Allan.

Rejection Free: How to Choose Yourself First and Take Charge of Your Life by Confidently Asking For What You Want / Scott Allan. 1st ed.

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Bonus Gift!

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Practical Strategies for Overcoming the 4 Pillars of Self-Defeat and Kicking Tough Obstacles

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Contents

Perhaps we shall learn, as we pass through this age, that the other self is more powerful than the physical self we see when we look into a mirror.

Napoleon Hill, Think and Grow Rich

Introduction: Living the Rejection Free Journey

F irst of all, I want to do two things: I want to welcome you into this book with open arms, and I want to say thanks . You have just made a positive step in taking charge of your life and I am happy to have you here. I wrote this book because I know the power that rejection plays in all of our lives. If it is allowed to operate unhinged, rejection can control our choices and influence our decisions; if allowed to go unattended, rejection eventually kills our dreams.

You might live in fear of rejection as I had for many decades. But it doesnt have to be that way. In this book I show you that you can win against your fears, rise up to become anything you want, and do whatever you like without living in fear. Whatever rejection issues you have can and will be overcome. I want you to know that you are not alone in this journey.

Fear of rejection can be a very isolating emotion. In order to protect ourselves, we covet our emotions and stay hidden, like small children underneath the blankets afraid of the dark. We try to play safe and take less risks. The problem with this is that we give up on life-changing opportunities, ideas, and chances in order to avoid the pain rejection brings. This pain not only causes emotional trauma but also can be, for many of us, just as frightening as facing physical injury or even death.

As rejectees, we become like chameleons in a large jungle: we fear being spotted by the predators, so we become adept at blending in, transforming, and disappearing. Ashamed to show ourselves for who we really are, we reject ourselves by staying out of sight. If they cant find you, they cant judge or condemn.

The jungle is the perfect place to avoid attracting attention. This means less social pressure: we can stay below the radar without being asked to do anything outside of our comfort zone. By staying out of sight, you avoid being judged or criticized. We have adapted to a lifestyle that has become our survival zone.

Many of us have convinced ourselves that life is better this way; by hiding from painful situations where the possibility of being judged, ridiculed, or condemned is present, we can control our environment through avoidance. This is not a way to live but a method of survival.

Let me ask you this: What chances or dreams have you given up to stay hidden away? What do you regret not doing because the fear of being ostracized or turned down was just too much to face?

Being rejected is a very real experience; for those people who have attached a deeper, more personal emotion to rejection, it can be completely terrifying.

Consider these questions:

What would you do right now if you removed your fear of rejection? What acceptable risks would you take? What opportunities would you explore?

What would you succeed at and commit to if you could remove your feelings of shame? What ideas would you pursue? What would you create?

How can you see your life transforming by pushing through your personal pain of rejection?

Can you imagine a life in which you could be free of your rejection issues once and for all?

Do you struggle with people-pleasing, only to end up more alone and confused?

How often do you challenge your fear of being put on the spot?

Do you turn down opportunities for speaking engagements?

Do you stay in relationships because you are afraid of taking a chance on something or someone new?

Do you refrain from asking for the things you really want for fear of being told NO?

Rejection is not exclusive to any one person or group of individuals. It is something we all go through. The difference is in how we deal with it.

For years I avoided any situation that put my ego-sensitive self at risk. If I was denied something I wanted, it was a personal attack on my character. When someone criticized me or made a disparaging remark, it was because I deserved it for being a less-than. By making it personal, I became more fearful. As we will see later in this book, rejection comes in many forms and disguises.

I n Rejection Free , we will learn how to

choose yourself first, no matter what people think of you.

ask for what you want without the fear of hearing NO .

break free of rejection in any situation that calls for you to be brave and confront your fears.

stop trying to please the wrong people and pay attention to the right ones.

realize that rejection isnt all about you (and how inspiring this is!).

put an end to the trap of predictability and the ways it hurts your chances for success.

overcome your self-doubt and become great at asking for what you want the most.

supercharge your confidence and take charge of your life.

desensitize yourself to rejection, so that you can handle anything that comes your way!

Rejection happens to all of us. Nobody is immune to it. However, every time rejection tries to defeat you, you can use the techniques and strategies in this book to defeat rejection instead. You can learn to free yourself from the feeling of shame and the fear of loss. By taking action in the face of fear, you release yourself from an emotional rollercoaster and learn to live your life with confidence.