Nielsen - Manipulation: How to Recognize and Outwit Emotional Manipulation and Mind Control in Your Relationships: 3rd Edition
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Manipulation
How to Recognize and Outwit
Emotional Manipulation and Mind Control in Your Relationships
Rd Edition
by
Sarah Nielsen
Copyright 2015 by Sarah Nielsen- All rights reserved.
This document is geared towards providing exact and reliable information in regards to the topic and issue covered. The publication is sold with the idea that the publisher is not required to render accounting, officially permitted, or otherwise, qualified services. If advice is necessary, legal or professional, a practiced individual in the profession should be ordered.
- From a Declaration of Principles which was accepted and approved equally by a Committee of the American Bar Association and a Committee of Publishers and Associations.
In no way is it legal to reproduce, duplicate, or transmit any part of this document in either electronic means or in printed format. Recording of this publication is strictly prohibited and any storage of this document is not allowed unless with written permission from the publisher. All rights reserved.
The information provided herein is stated to be truthful and consistent, in that any liability, in terms of inattention or otherwise, by any usage or abuse of any policies, processes, or directions contained within is the solitary and utter responsibility of the recipient reader. Under no circumstances will any legal responsibility or blame be held against the publisher for any reparation, damages, or monetary loss due to the information herein, either directly or indirectly.
Respective authors own all copyrights not held by the publisher.
The information herein is offered for informational purposes solely, and is universal as so. The presentation of the information is without contract or any type of guarantee assurance.
The trademarks that are used are without any consent, and the publication of the trademark is without permission or backing by the trademark owner. All trademarks and brands within this book are for clarifying purposes only and are the owned by the owners themselves, not affiliated with this document.
Introduction
Chapter One Warning Signs
Chapter Two What Makes You a Target
Chapter Three How to Resist Manipulation
Chapter Four Defending Yourself against Manipulators
Chapter Five Recognizing a Manipulative Relationship
Chapter Six Dealing with Manipulation in a Relationship
Chapter Seven Raising your Self-Esteem Levels
Chapter Eight Following Through with Getting Rid of a Manipulator
Conclusion
It happens too often. People who are suffering from a low self-esteem end up getting stuck in a relationship where theyre being controlled by their significant other or even a child. Theyre the unwitting targets of people who suffer from psychological disorders or emotional disorders that propel them to behave in a manipulative way.
The results of this manipulation can be painful for the victims, but especially for the manipulators themselves, as they struggle to maintain relationships with loved ones or workmates. Manipulators can end up isolating themselves in their attempts to control a situation and feed their need for power to build themselves up. These isolated individuals may find it hard to break the cycle, thus finding that it tends to feed itself.
Overtime, victims may become wise to the manipulation and end the relationships altogether. A manipulator can also find that they will manipulate themselves into believing their actions are necessary for the well-being of themselves or the person whom they are manipulating.
Manipulators have a few main motivations that may be shocking to those being victimized.
They:
- Must advance their purpose and personal gain at the cost of others.
- Are power hungry and need to feel superior in a relationship.
- Are control freaks and need to feel as if they are the dominant one in a relationship at all times.
- Have a low self-esteem and must have power over another in order to raise their perception of themselves.
- See manipulation as merely a game due to a psychopathic tendency.
If you find that you know someone like this, be aware of their actions and yours. Read further to figure out the warning signs of a manipulator and how to deal with one in your relationship.
Youve most likely picked up this book because you feel that you're already emotionally manipulated, or perhaps youre curious as to whether or not youre an emotional manipulator. Believe it or not, you can be a manipulator without being conscious of the act. You may believe that what youre doing is for the better of a relationship, but in all reality, its not.
Here are the signs of an emotional manipulator, whether you are one or trying to figure out if youre with one. Note that many of these will be used together, but in the end, the goal of the manipulator is to achieve their ends, whatever it might cost their victims. Thus, they will take their victims measure and then choose the best option or combination of options to achieve their ends with that specific victim. Below are some of the options that a manipulator has in their arsenal.
If youre with a manipulator, they will use positive reinforcement in order to get you to do what they want. For example, they will:
- give you superficial sympathy when something has happened
- use superficial charm
- apologize excessively
- use money, gifts, and approval to get what they want
- use a forced smile or laugh to elicit a positive reaction
All of these tactics are part of the strategy being used by the manipulator to achieve their ultimate goal of getting what they want at the expense of their victims emotional, financial or physical well-being. After all, the rewards they are using during positive reinforcement are simply carrots. The next option may seem like a carrot, but often times it really ends with the stick.
Negative reinforcement is removing someone from a negative situation in order to get what they want. For example, your significant other may say: You wont have to do the laundry if you fix the sink. Thus, the manipulator is providing a reward or removal from the negative situation to achieve their goal. Yet by giving the manipulator what they want, the one being manipulated may find themselves going from one negative situation into another one before they even realize it.
This is when you only sometimes get what you want. Its akin to gambling. You know that you sometimes get a really great response if you do the dishes, so you do the dishes all the time. However, you dont get praise for it all the time, so its a lot like playing the lottery. One night you might get really great positive reinforcement for doing the dishes, and the next you get the cold shoulder. Yet that small taste of really great positive reinforcement keeps you wanting more, so you keep trying.
The manipulator uses the need for approval and your efforts to control the overall situation. They will keep you on your toes, while still getting what they want from you, either in terms of actions, emotional gratification or financial support. This type of reinforcement also tends to work on a carrot like approach. Yet the next one is using the stick to achieve the manipulators goals.
People who are trying to emotionally manipulate you into doing something for them will use punishment if you do not seem to respond well to the aforementioned ways. These punishments may include some of the following:
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