Louisa Jewell - Wire Your Brain for Confidence: The Science of Conquering Self-Doubt

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Copyright 2017 by Louisa Jewell

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted, in any form or by any means, without the prior written consent of the publisher or a licence from The Canadian Copyright Licensing Agency (Access Copyright). For a copyright licence, visit www.accesscopyright.ca or call toll free to 1-800-893-5777.

Famous Warrior Press
www.louisajewell.com
Toronto ON

ISBN 978-0-9959909-0-6 (paperback)
ISBN 978-0-9959909-1-3 (ebook)

Produced by Page Two
www.pagetwostrategies.com
Cover and interior design by Peter Cocking
Ebook by Bright Wing Books (brightwing.ca)

To my mother, Bianca,
who ignited a passion in me to improve the lives of all women,
and to my Zia Lina, who believed I could.

Yes, there were times, Im sure you knew

When I bit off more than I could chew

But through it all, when there was doubt

I ate it up and spit it out

I faced it all and I stood tall

And did it my way

FROM MY WAY BY FRANK SINATRA
(LYRICS BY PAUL ANKA)

I T IS TIME for women to have an equal say at ruling the world.

Even if you have no desire to rule the world, just stay with me for a moment.

I am not a man-hater. I love men (maybe too much). I just believe that men and women are different. Women think differently. We have a different social consciousness.

My thinking on this topic began many years ago when I read an article about microloans. These are tiny loans that banks make to people in developing countries to fund new business ventures. Some microfinancers target women exclusively, not only because they have higher repayment rates but also because if you lend a woman money for her business, she is more likely to contribute larger portions of her earnings to the household than a man would. As a result, the children of these female entrepreneurs have a higher likelihood of being enrolled in school full-time, with lower dropout rates. In fact, research shows that these women invest in their childrens education first. They also have better health practices and nutrition than other households. Microfinancers discovered that when you invest in female business ventures, you make those womens communities better places to live.

Another important consideration is that if we want to have our needs served and advocate for our children and families, it is much easier to do so from a position of executive power. Here is a simple example: Facebooks chief operating officer, Sheryl Sandberg, in her book Lean In, describes her difficult walk from the end of the parking lot at Google (where she was working at the time) when she was uncomfortably pregnant. She complained to Larry Page and Sergey Brin, Google cofounders, who shortly afterward created parking spots for pregnant women close to the office building. But Sandberg had not thought of this consideration until she actually went through the experience of being pregnant herself, and she wouldnt have been able to influence such a swift change if she hadnt been in the senior position she was. Now imagine women having an equal voice in all decisions from a position of executive leadership and you can see how much easier it would be to influence policy and meet the needs of more and more women in the world, on matters more important than a front-row parking spot. Imagine the shifts we could see if women populated 50 percent of every leadership rank in government, academia, and corporations.

This shift becomes even more critical when you think about the incredible influence corporations have on government policy. We have seen time and time again how government policies that are not helpful for our populations at large continue to get approved. Corporate dollars act as significant lobbying power that can be used every day to influence government decisions. If enough pressure is placed on certain politicians in power, those politicians can sway the direction of government policy. The problem is that women occupy a small percentage of executive positions. The study also highlights that women in positions of power often lack the support they need and thus, when they fail, it is blamed on their gender rather than a lack of support. Negative gender stereotyping is another obstacle women must deal with regularly. This means women have a lot more challenges to overcome while trying to rise to the top than men do.

The 2015 Womens Leadership Study, commissioned by American Express and Women of Influence, found that only 32 percent of women believe that gaining executive-level jobs is achievable, and less than 28 percent aspire to it. Thats because women in the study felt that loving what I do was more important than climbing the corporate ladder. In fact, 17 percent of these women stated they had turned down promotions because the job was not a good fit. In general, women are ambitious, but they also want to stay true to their values and achieve work-life balance.

Many of the women I know left their corporate jobs to start their own businesses because they wanted to fashion a life for themselves that was more meaningful, engage in the work they love, and have more control over their daily lives. That was certainly true for me. I always say that I am completely unemployable and could never work for anyone else again. But many women I know struggle to earn the income required for a sustainable business. I certainly struggled for many years before my business was financially sustainable. Some highly successful women I know even feel shame when they achieve high levels of income, feeling that if they are doing it for the money, they must be a bad person. In my lifetime I have heard many men celebrate and brag about their 10 0K /month milestones, but never have I heard a man express shame over it. Even when we are successful, we are doubting ourselves.

I have the privilege and honor to be friends, colleagues, and associates with thousands of women who are doing amazing work. I am also witness to their never-ending struggle to feel good enough. I know too many successful and accomplished women who still go home at the end of each day and question their every move. Women who have risen through the ranks, done the work, and have many university degrees are still questioning if they are good enough. There is something really wrong with this.

This book is for those of you who feel this way. This book is not about building general confidence; I know you have lots of that. Its about building the kind of confidence that leaves you unwavering in your belief in yourself and the life you want to live. Its about not questioning yourself all the time and moving forward with enthusiasm. Its about finding that peaceful calm and letting go of anxiety and stress. Its for those of you who are playing a bigger game and want to do it with greater joy every day.