This edition first published 2017.
2017 Gill Hasson
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available
Names: Hasson, Gill, author.
Title: Confidence pocketbook : little exercises for a self-assured life / Gill Hasson.
Description: Chichester, West Sussex, United Kingdom : Wiley, [2017] | Identifiers: LCCN 2017011373 (print) | ISBN 9780857087331 (pbk.)
Subjects: LCSH: Self-confidence. | Confidence.
Classification: LCC BF575.S39 H3975 2017 (print) | DDC 158.1-dc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2017011373
A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
ISBN 978-0-857-08733-1 (pbk)
ISBN 978-0-857-08734-8 (ebk)
ISBN 978-0-857-08731-7 (ebk)
Cover Design and Illustration: Wiley
INTRODUCTION
It is never too late to be what you might have been. George Eliot
Do you feel that life would improve for you if you had more confidence and self-esteem?
When youre confident and have good self-esteem, you believe in yourself; your decisions, your actions and your abilities. You face life with optimism; you believe that you can cope with challenges and difficulties and that events are likely to turn out well. You value yourself and feel good about yourself. You feel at ease around other people; able to join in, speak up and speak out.
Its a positive dynamic: learn to be more confident in one situation and youll find it boosts your confidence and self-esteem in other situations; at work, in public, with family and friends and in social situations.
Confidence is lifes enabler; life really does improve as your self-confidence and self-esteem grow. So, clearly, confidence is something thats worth pursuing. But how do you begin to improve your confidence? The Confidence Pocketbook can help!
There are three parts to the Confidence Pocketbook:
- Part 1: The Foundation Stones of Confidence
- Part 2: Personal Confidence
- Part 3: Social Confidence
Self-confidence and self-esteem are built from a sound base of foundation stones. Part 1 of this book explains what those foundation stones are and how you can establish them. The foundation stones involve principles fundamental truths which apply in a wide range of situations, both personal and social.
Part 2 Personal Confidence addresses specific aspects of your life where you may want to feel more confident and better about yourself and your abilities. Whether you want the confidence to take risks and make mistakes, to travel or return to learn whatever the issue simply pick out the ideas, tips and techniques that appeal to you and give them a try.
Part 3 of this book Social Confidence addresses a range of issues related to interacting with other people; colleagues, friends, family etc. Whether you want the confidence to speak up or speak out, be treated with respect or make new friends, simply pick out the ideas, tips and techniques that appeal to you and give them a try.
Confidence and self-esteem arent fixed, they increase and decrease according to the ups and downs you experience in life. Although the way other people treat you and behave towards you has an effect on your confidence, other people cant force you to be confident and feel good about yourself. You have to take responsibility and be prepared to work at developing and maintaining your confidence and self-esteem.
The Confidence Pocketbook has over 100 simple confidence tips, techniques, ideas and suggestions for a wide range of situations where youre likely to want to be more confident and capable. The more often you use them, the more youll develop your confidence and self-esteem.
Keep this book in your bag or your pocket whenever and wherever you need to feel more confident. Youll find that the tips, techniques, ideas and suggestions in this book really can help you act with confidence and feel good about yourself.
Its not about becoming a different person; its about becoming more of the real you!
PART 1
THE FOUNDATION STONES OF CONFIDENCE
UNDERSTANDING CONFIDENCE
Success comes in cans, not cants. Author unknown
Confidence is a belief that something can and will happen. You may be confident that your team will win. You could be confident the train will arrive on time. Whether the team does actually win or the train does arrive on time is another matter!
Self-confidence is believing that you can do things.
Self-confidence is not about what you can or cant do. Its what you think and believe you can or cant do. You might believe that you can sky-dive or pass an exam. Whether, when the time comes, you can jump out of the plane or pass the exam is also another matter!
When youre feeling confident, you have a positive attitude towards yourself and your abilities and you believe that events and experiences are likely to turn out well. But when youre not feeling confident, youre likely to believe that things will turn out badly. And because you believe things wont turn out well, you often feel that theres no point in even trying.
Furthermore, you only see or even look for evidence that confirms that you cant do something while avoiding or ignoring evidence that, actually, you could do something. So if you werent feeling confident about passing your driving test, youd focus on the weaker aspects of your driving abilities reverse parking or three-point turns as evidence that you werent going to do well.
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