Violet Blue - Smart Girl’s Guide to the G-Spot

Table of Contents

by jesse bering

When I was in the ninth grade, ninety pounds when wet, secretly gay, and prone to unbidden orgasms at the banal tickles of the atmosphere, I placed in my girlfriends palm a pornographic note so riddled with perversions that if ever that voice in the back of her head telling her that my lust burned not for her, but rather for her older brother, were to burst suddenly into her consciousness, the memory of this debauched ode would reel her back to doubt. It would be dishonest to say that I recall all the absurdly obscene things the letter contained, but there was almost certainly a line about my hope of flossing with her pubic hair after smearing her buttocks with my cream. (In reality, Id have run for my life if she actually welcomed this scene.)

Soon, the two of us would be called down to the vice principals office, where a raft of sunlight set us all afloat on a sober discussion about the seriousness of my written offense, which had found its way into his hands. Are you afraid of him? said the middle-aged man to my fake girlfriend, nodding at me without looking at me, I mean, there are some pretty disturbing things in this letter.

What she snapped back at him made me fall madly in love with her. Afraid? she fired back. How sad. Dont you ever say anything like that anymore to your wife?

Now Im all grown up and a gay psychologist, and I can talk about penises without pretending to like pussies. Actually, its not that I dont like themI just dont go into them in my private life. I do see female ejaculation as an enormously fascinating subject matter that has largely escaped serious scientific inquiry, particularly from an evolutionary perspective. This is all the more puzzling given that female ejaculation, which is usually defined as the expulsion of a significant amount of fluid around the time of orgasmestimates range from, on average, 3 to 50 ml (about 10 teaspoons)is a topic that was first described by scholars around 2,000 years ago.

The fourth century Taoist text, Secret Instructions Concerning the Jade Chamber, for example, written for the enterprising man in the art of satisfying a woman in bed, suggested that he decipher the following five signs of feminine arousal accordingly:

I wouldnt recommend any man follow these secret instructions today; citing number two in your defense that, say, some woman with a sweaty nose wanted you to insert your penis into her isnt likely to hold up in a court of law. But the fact that this ancient text distinguishes between slippery vagina and the genitals transmit fluid, means that even the ancients knew of female ejaculation. Likewise, the Kamasutra, which dates to 200-400 A.D., speaks of female semen that falls continually. In the West, even Aristotle had something to say about female discharge during sexual intercourse, which, he pointed out, far exceeds the seminal emission of the man. He also notedand its tempting to speculate about just how he came to this conclusionthat female ejaculation tends to be found in those who are fair-skinned and of a feminine type generally, but not in those who are dark and of masculine appearance. Astounding that it wasnt until 1982 that female ejaculate was first analyzed in terms of its chemical properties. And guess whatit wasnt urine!

Its as though Aristotle was prognosticating in his minds eye our own Violet Bluethe the fair-skinned, feminine type with the liberated vulva. I dont know what ever happened to that clever girl from high school who served so generously as my beard, but I imagine shes probably something like Violetthe brilliantly naughty schoolgirl grown up, unrepentantly sexual, fearlessly playful, always up for a mind-fuck with her gay male friends, and a ravenous brain matched only by an even more ravenous G-spot. So sit back, slide your hands down there, and let Violet push your buttons.

The G-spot is not a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma. It is a place in your body. In my body. Its a real, tangible thing, like my breasts and your clitoris, and you can even see it. But for some reason, lots of people seem to think the G-spot is a myth. Or a rumor. Or something only for the granola-and-Birkenstocks crowd, who call it the goddess spot and claim we tap into our inner wisdom when we go hunting around for it. Noits a real thing, and it makes you come, hard, period. No deep wisdom, soul-searching or goddess worship necessary. But a little knowledge helps.

Thats why I had to write this G-spot guide for smart girls like me. There are way, way too many guys online who think that watching porn or reading other peoples websites gives them the knowledge to spout off about what is and isnt up with the G-spot and female ejaculationoften getting their facts wrong in horrifyingly shaming ways. And the only books I could find out there were either piecemeal, dated, or intended for an audience of women who wanted a spiritual experiencewhen all I wanted was to figure out how to get off.

None of these books or websites spoke to me, and some of them offended and scared me. It seemed like no one could just talk about the G-spot in plain, even fun, terms. It either got glossed over in explaining a mystery of some kind, or it had to be cloaked in feminist reclaiming or Mother Earth context, as if the people doing the explaining had to give the G-spot some kind of extra validation to make it okay to talk about in the first place. Rather than turning me on and making me want to get out the lube, this approach has the same effect as a Thorazine dart. It puts any wild animalor horny smart girlto sleep.

I want to encourage you to think of this volume not just as a G-spot guide for smart girls, but also as a call to arms for girls who want to be a little bit more fierce about their sexuality. Were not reclaiming the G-spot here; were making plans for orgasmic lawlessness. Were not searching for a mythical magic button buried somewhere in our pussies; were constructing a doomsday device in the basement. Were not worried that we might pee ourselves with pleasure (because we wont); were ramping up to feel really, really good about our bad selves. Its like that.

This book has attitude, and a lot of helpful information to back it up. In the first chapter youll find out what the big deal is about the G-spot, whats real and whats not, and why the G-spot has such an annoying name. Next, in chapter 2 youll get your map to the Batcave (a G-spot anatomy lesson); in chapter 3 youll find out how to activate your G-spot/orgasm doomsday device by learning how to stimulate it, how it feels, and all the essentials on how to proceed, including toys and techniques. In chapter 4 youll learn how to share your new toy with a lover (including G-spot-centric sexual positions). In chapter 5, female ejaculation is explained and demystified, with lots of specific troubleshooting tips. After that, if youre ready for more, youll find a chapter on intensifying your G-spot experience with anal, oral, S/M and fisting. Finally, theres a huge resource chapter with further reading, online shopping recommendations and safer sex info.