Farrel - 52 Ways to Wow Your Husband

Pam Farrel and her husband, Bill, are cofounders and codirectors of Love-Wise, an organization to help people connect love and wisdom and bring practical insights to their personal relationships. The Farrels are international speakers and authors of over 30 books including bestselling Men Are Like WafflesWomen Are Like Spaghetti, Red-Hot Monogamy, and The 10 Best Decisions a Couple Can Make. In addition, Pam has written numerous books for women including The 10 Best Decisions a Woman Can Make, Becoming a Brave New Woman (formerly Woman of Confidence), and 10 Secrets to Living Smart, Savvy, and Strong. The Farrels are relationship columnists for several newspapers, magazines, and blogs and are frequent guests on radio and TV shows bringing relationship advice to people worldwide. They have been happily married over 31 years, are the parents to three children, and enjoy their relationship with their daughter-in-law and two young granddaughters. More about the Farrels and their resources can be found at www.Love-Wise.com.

W hat a man finds romantic is a woman who will lower his stress! In Men Are Like WafflesWomen Are Like Spaghetti, I explain that men go to their favorite easy boxes to rest and recharge. God helped us women recognize these easy boxes in that most of them are shaped like boxesthe TV screen, the newspaper, the garage, the Xbox, the computer screen, the football field, the baseball diamond, the basketball court, the refrigerator, and the bed. The bed box (also known as the sex box) is a husbands favorite box to go to when he is stressed out. This box or square is kind of like the center square on a bingo card, and a man can get to that box from every other square on his waffle.

Find out your mans favorite easy box he goes to for recharging. Here are some ways to discover this vital information:

If given thirty minutes of dead time, what does he do?

If he were given a day off, where would he like to go?

What does he do now when stressed?

What does he watch on TV when relaxing? (Sports? Movies? Adventures? Fix-it shows?)

Kendra Smiley and her husband, John, wrote Do Your Kids a Favor... Love Your Spouse. John was wowed unexpectedly by Kendra with his all-time favorite box:

Ive been a Green Bay Packers fan for years and transferred that enthusiasm to our three teenage sons. I never imagined I would actually be able to see a game at Lambeau Field because legend has it that the only way to get tickets is to inherit them when someone dies. But legends dont stop Kendra! She called the ticket office, asking about the purchase of five tickets for the last home game of the season. After the laughter died down (I guess there was some truth to the legend), they referred her to an agency offering Weekend Packages. She knew we couldnt afford all the extras of a package, and somehow she managed to convince the woman at that office to simply sell her five tickets. She gave me a gift that took her time, her effort, and a little bit of her charming persuasion. What a great model for our kids!

My mans favorite easy box is:

Pray and thank God for your husband. Often we women push, push, push our spouse to be more productive or work on our honey-do list even on his day off. If you keep pushing, he might begin to see you as a mother or a boss, not a wife and lover. A husband who gets pushed to do too many things he doesnt enjoy will exhaust himself emotionally and grow distant from his wife. Think about how much better your life is when you are connected with your lover!

Instead of resenting your waffleman for needing to recharge, thank God he has a box to recharge in so he can maintain the energy to keep up with you! As Paul reminds us, In everything give thanks (1 Thessalonians 5:18 NASB ).

Make him breakfast in bed and serve waffles. Give him a note for one free day off to do whatever he wantsto enjoy his favorite waffle box(es). Include a gift card for something that helps him recharge. While youre there in bed, why not enjoy some bingo? Remember, for most men, bingo is the number one recharger box.

G inger Kolbaba, editor of the online magazine Kyria, offers the following great insight:

No, no way, my mind screamed. But then I did something insane. I looked into my husbands eyes. So he didnt think through all the logistics; he had tried to do something good, something fun for us as a couple. And I had the power to cut him down, crush his excitement, to penalize him for the adventure hed tried to bring to our relationship. And thats when I learned an important marriage lesson. Sometimes it is better to say yes, even when you want to, even when you are justified to say no. Frankly, it is about the good of the marriage, not only about the individuals who make up that marriage...My first instinct was to say no...But the grace of God got through my thick skull and reminded me of the importance of saying yes.

This week, try to say yes as much as you possibly can to your husband. If what he asks you to do is not immoral, illegal, or life-threatening, say yes. Give it a wholehearted, enthusiastic yes!

Heres the trick. You might have been saying no for so long, your husband is afraid to ask anything of you anymore. He might be so withdrawn from your predictable no answers that he doesnt even make a request or an invitation. If this is the case, you might offer a yes. For example, Honey, you know how you asked me over and over to go deep-sea fishing with you? Well, I want you know that if you asked again, Id say yes. In fact, I have the boat captains number right here, and I have this Saturday free if you want to go right away. No pressure, I just wanted you to know. Then give a kiss, slide the number into his front pants pocket, and leave the room. If you flirt a little, your yes will seem more believable.

Jump-start the new yes atmosphere of your marriage by planning a date full of yeses. Do a few things your husband loves that you have said no to in the past. Go running with him, go to the gym with him, go to the hardware store with him. Say yes to that fast car or ski boat (rent one just for a day!). Be his friend, his buddy, his pal, his lover, and revel in saying yes to his ideas all through the date.

M om was worried that her twin boys, age six, had developed extreme personalitiesone was a total pessimist, the other a total optimist. So she took them to a psychiatrist.

First the psychiatrist treated the pessimist. Trying to brighten his outlook, the psychiatrist took him to a room piled to the ceiling with brand-new toys. But instead of yelping with delight, the little boy burst into tears.

Whats the matter? the psychiatrist asked, baffled. Dont you want to play with any of the toys?

Yes, the little boy bawled, but if I did, Id only break them.

Next the psychiatrist treated the optimist. Trying to dampen his outlook, the psychiatrist took him to a room piled to the ceiling with horse manure. But instead of wrinkling his nose in disgust, the optimist emitted a yelp of delight. He dropped to his knees and began gleefully digging out scoop after scoop with his bare hands.