Davis Erin - The bare facts: 39 questions your parents hope you never ask about sex

Questions Your
Parents Hope You
Never Ask About
Sex

Josh McDowell
with Erin Davis

M OODY P UBLISHERS
CHICAGO

2011 by
J OSH M C D OWELL

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without permission in writing from the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com

Scripture quotations marked NASB are taken from the New American Standard Bible, Copyright 1960, 1962,1963, 1968,1971, 1972,1973, 1975,1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org)

Scripture quotations marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton Illinois 60189, U.S.A. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked ESV are taken from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. Copyright 2000, 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

McDowell, Josh.
The bare facts: 39 questions your parents hope you never ask about sex / Josh McDowell, with Erin Davis.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references.
ISBN 978-0-8024-0255-4
1. SexReligious aspectsChristianity. 2. Sex instruction for teenagersReligious aspectsChristianity. 3. Christian teenagersSexual behavior. 4. Child rearingReligious aspectsChristianity. I. Davis, Erin, 1980- II. Title.
BT708.M427 2011
241.660835dc22

2011013772

Also available as an EBook 978-0-8024-7838-2

All websites and phone numbers listed herein are accurate at the time of publication, but may change in the future or cease to exist. The listing of website references and resources does not imply publisher endorsement of the sites entire contents. Groups and organizations are listed for informational purposes, and listing does not imply publisher endorsement of their activities.

We hope you enjoy this book from Moody Publishers. Our goal is to provide high-quality, thought-provoking books and products that connect truth to your real needs and challenges. For more information on other books and products written and produced from a biblical perspective, go to www.moodypublishers.com or write to:

Moody Publishers
820 N. LaSalle Boulevard
Chicago, IL 60610

1 3 5 7 9 10 8 6 4 2

Printed in the United States of America

To
Sean, Stephanie, Scottie, Shauna, Kelly, Michael, Pippy, Katie,
Jerry, Quinn, Beckett, Heather, David, Brenna, and Dottie.

My Family

R ACHEL HAS BEEN RAISED in the church. She became a Christian at age ten. Shes always gotten the impression from her parents and pastor that sex is a bad thing. Shes now a freshman in college, and sex seems to be the only thing the girls in her dorm want to talk about. Even some of her friends from the Christian campus house talk about sex like its no big deal. Rachel is starting to wonder, When it comes to sex, whats all the fuss about?

Nick has heard plenty about sex. Its a subject his youth pastor teaches on often (too often, in Nicks opinion). Nick is becoming a man, and his hormones seem to be screaming at him to have sex. Hes decided if God didnt want him to have sex, He wouldnt have given him such strong sexual urges. Nick has decided its unrealistic to wait until marriage.

Anna loves Jesus. Until recently she was active in her church and youth group and volunteered once a week at a local Christian preschool. In a moment of passion, Anna and her boyfriend had sex. Afterward, they seemed always to be fighting. They broke up last week. Now Anna is brokenhearted. She has dropped out of all activities at church, and she feels far away from God. She wants to be forgiven, but shes too ashamed to tell anyone, especially God, about her sin. She knows what the Bible says about forgiveness but she wonders if God could ever forgive her sexual sin.

If we asked Rachel, Nick, and Anna to tell us Gods truth about sex, theyd be stumped. In a culture where sex is everywhere and purity has lost its meaning, young people, including those in the church, are left to face tremendous sexual temptation without an understanding of Gods truth on the subject.

The word sex receives 338 million Google searches a month. Thats more than 4 billion searches a year, making it one of the top five most searched words ever.1 With teenagers making up the largest portion of Internet users, this trend reveals two things: 1) when it comes to sex, teenagers have questions, and 2) they are looking in the wrong place for answers.

The Bible isnt quiet on the subject of sex.

Christian researcher George Barna labeled todays teenagers the Mosaic Generation because of their tendency to take small pieces of information from many sources to create their own definition of truth.2 This whatever works philosophy has infiltrated every dimension of this generations decision making, especially their decisions about sex. Because Mosaics mix elements from many different beliefs, faith seems to have little or no impact on their approach to sex.

When researchers asked Mosaics about whether or not they cheat, view online porn, experiment with drugs and alcohol, or have sex, 53 percent of born-again teenagers admitted to at least one of those behaviors in the last three months, compared to 59 percent of unbelievers.3

Clearly, sex is a subject we need to talk about. Of the billions of people searching for answers about sex, many of them are asking one important question, Why wait? Maybe you are asking that exact question. Perhaps you want to know why you should save sex until marriage and how you can say no in the meantime. Maybe you are a parent, pastor, youth leader, or teacher who feels ill-equipped to answer young peoples questions about sex and to teach them why Gods standard of purity is worth pursuing in a culture where anything goes.

No question is off-limits.

Youve come to the right place. I want you to know what God, medicine, and common sense say about sex. Thats why I designed this book to offer honest, upfront, and intimate answers to the top questions students ask about sex, love, and relationships. No question is off-limits. After fifty years of speaking to more than 10 million young people, Ive learned that knowledge, not ignorance, is the key that ultimately leads to a fulfilling marriage and family.