Foxworthy Jeff - Jeff Foxworthys redneck dictionary II: more words you thought you knew the meaning of

ADEQUATE

accustom (-ks-tm), n. and v. to have verbally abused more than one person with profanity. Them kids kept swearin around Mamaw, soaccustomout.

adequate (a-d-kwit), n. and v. to have acted with the intention of terminating ones condition of employment. Adequateif they hadnt given me a raise.

Afghanistan (af-gan-is-stan), n. and v. to declare that a certain living organism of Afghani origin has the name Stanley. The Dalmatians called Jerry, but theAfghanistan.

agent (-jnt), n. and v. to negate the importance of the length of a things existence. She may be eighty, but if Im drunk enough,agentmake no difference to me.

Aleve (-lv), n. and v. to intend to vacate. SureAleve, budsoon as I finish off this six-pack.

allosaurus (a-l-sr-s), n. and v. to have been visually perceived by someone named Alice. I think my wifeallosaurusgo into that motel room together.

allure (-lr), n. an object used for enticement, with the intention of capturing prey. You want to catch a fish, you gotta useallure.

anaconda (an--kn-d), n. and v. to have swindled by gaining the confidence of the victim. I robbed a bank, stole a car,anacondaold lady out of her life savings.

ALLURE

AORTA

annual (an-y-l), n. and v. regarding the prediction of an action. Buy this here Porscheannualbe dating a lot of ladies.

antelope (ant--lp), n. and v. the female sibling of ones parent escaping, with the intention of betrothal. Sure its cool to help yerantelope, but it aint cool if shes gettin hitched to you.

aorta (-r-t), n. and v. involving a suggestion for action. Aortatear that house down and start over.

apartment (-prt-mnt), adv. and v. pertaining to ones feelings about a separation. Our time together was real good, but the time we wereapartmenta lot more to me.

apparel (-per-l), n. and v. a prediction concerning the future of two things. When it comes to shoes,apparellook better than just the one.

appeal (-pl), n. medicine in a form for oral ingestion. Im sorry, sir, this is notappealyou swallow. Its the kind you take rectally.

arrest (-rest), n. a state of minimal activity. I want the cops to lock me up cause, frankly, I could usearrest.

ascent (-sent), n. and v. to have personally dispatched. Please dont turn off my phone, dudeI swearascentthat check three weeks ago!

APPEAL

ASUNDER