Ian Kerner - The Good in Bed Guide to 52 Weeks of Amazing Sex

THE GOOD IN BED GUIDE TO 52 WEEKS OF AMAZING SEX. Copyright 2010 by Ian Kerner, Ph.D. and Steph Auteri. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. For information, please address: Good in Bed LLC, PMB 409, 22 Prince Street, New York, NY 10012

Cover design by Jen Wink, book design by Emily Blair and eBook conversion by eBook Architects.

ISBN 978-0-9843221-5-2 (e-book)

Disclaimer: This book contains advice and information relating to sexual health and interpersonal well-being. It is not intended to replace medical or psychotherapeutic advice and should be used to supplement rather than replace regular care by your doctor or mental health professional. While all efforts have been made to ensure the accuracy of the information contained in this book as of the date of publication, the publisher and the author are not responsible for any adverse effects or consequences that may occur as a result of applying the methods suggested in this book.

Ian Kerner, Ph.D is a sexuality counselor and New York Times best-selling author of numerous books for Harper Collins, including She Comes First and Love in the Time of Colic. His journey to counseling grew out of his own personal battle with sexual dysfunction and his desire to help others. He often addresses issues that are common to the American bedroom but nonetheless lead to lives of quiet desperation. Ian is a contributor to NBC TODAY, amongst others, and lives his wife and two boys in New York City where he maintains a private practice.

Steph Auteri is a writer specializing in sex and relationships. She is an Assistant Editor for YourTango and a sex columnist for The Frisky. She has also written for Time Out New York, New York Press, Playgirl, Nerve, Lemondrop, and other bastions of fine writing.

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Think fast:

When was the last time you had sex?

Ummm...

Are you hard-pressed to remember?

Okay. Now that youve remembered, was the sex worth forgetting? Has foreplay turned into boreplay? With a busy schedule, has sex fallen to the bottom of your to-do list? And by the time you do finally collapse into bed, is sex the last thing on your mind?

Despite all of this, do you still want to want sex?

Do you still think of yourself as a sexual person, and miss the days when you and your partner couldnt keep your hands off of each other?

Would you like more passion, more fun, more boundary-pushing? Do you want to be nudged out of your comfort zone and try something new?

Are you ready to get your groove back?

If you answered yes to many of the questions above, youre not alone.

According to reports, nearly 40 million Americans are stuck in a sex rut, and more than 52 percent of us are dissatisfied with our sex lives. Alarming. We know. Especially considering the fact that these arent just lonely singles, roaming the bars and online dating sites looking for their next S.O. Rather, many of these people have someone to sleep beside night after night but, somehow, their sex life is more monotonous and empty than ever before.

Its easy to get stuck in a rut when youre in a long-term relationship. After all, for most of us, the most exciting part of a relationship is at the beginning, when were falling in love. Its a time filled with newness and possibility, hot and heavy flirtation, and even hotter and heavier sex. You cant keep your hands off each other!

But, after being with someone for awhile, things can understandably get boring. You stop trying as hard. The thought of getting intimate with your partner just doesnt seem as thrilling. Sometimes, its easier to just take matters into your own hands.

And as you take the next step with your partnerand the next, and the nextnew and greater responsibilities pile on (house, baby, etc.) and, gradually, sex ends up at the bottom of your list of priorities. Because you have work to do. Because youre stressed about money. Because youre exhausted. Because you have to wash the dishes. There are a million excuses. Suddenly, and without warning, you realize that you havent had sex in weeks, or maybe even months!

We here at Good in Bed believe that, as a couple, you should be trying to have sex at least once a week. When youre in a sexless rut, your testosterone levels lower, and you get used to not doing it. But sex begets sex, and weekly intimacy keeps you connected as a couple, keeps you hot for each other, and even keeps you healthy! When you stop having sex, you lose that sense of intimacy, and your relationship becomes vulnerable to all sorts of potholes and pitfalls, from flirty friendships and porn propensities to negativity and infidelity. All of a sudden, youre more like roommates than lovers. A sex life is a terrible thing to waste, and our new program offers up a different sex tip every week52 in allfor a year of great sex.

But this program isnt just about quantity. Its also about quality... and variety. Sex is like foodif you eat the same thing over and overeven if its something you lovenot only will you get bored with your favorite meal but, in the long run, youll also be depriving yourself of vital nutrients.

Look at your sex life in much the same way you would look at a food pyramid. There are different foodgroups (or, in this case, sex-groups) you should be consuming from regularly: theres sex thats loving and tender, and which enhances emotional intimacy, and then theres sex for the sake of sex: you have it because it feels good and relieves stress. Theres also sex that taps the power of fantasy and proves that the mind is our biggest sex organ, and theres sex that plays to all of our various senses: sight, sound, smell, touch, and taste. Our 52-week regimen draws from all of these groups, with the goal of giving you a healthy, balanced (and hotter) sex life.

We here at Good In Bed have come up with 52 sexy activities that will push you to be more creative in the bedroom, at the same time enhancing the connection you have with your partner. At different levels of intensity, some activities may prove easier than others. But isnt your relationship is worth it?

So try it; youll like it. And remember, youre not alone. Join the conversation and community at goodinbed.com .

Constantly feeling too tired for sex? Too burnt out? Too darn gross for the morning nookie your partner loves so much? This week, we explore how a shower for two can do double duty, by both reinvigorating and refreshing you, and also giving you the opportunity to raise the heat while soaping each other up.