Table of Contents
This book is dedicated to all women who dare to
explore pleasure and the partners who love them for it.
ONE
An Invitation to Aural Exploration
Cameryn: | Hi, Eric, its Cameryn. |
Eric: | Hi, Cameryn. |
Cameryn: | How are you doing tonight? |
Eric: | Pretty good. |
Cameryn: | Yeah? I bet we can turn that into really, really great before we finish. What do you think? |
Eric: | I hope so. |
Sexuality is the most intimate form of body language we can experience with our partners and ourselves. But when we combine the physically erotic with verbal enticements, were able to touch our lovers on a new level. A wanton text message or whisper can arouse memories and anticipation far beyond normal conversation, all the while building a deep romantic bond.
Dirty talk opens the door to sweeter seduction, more passionate lovemaking, and the opportunity to explore how emotionally intimate your relationships can become. Whether you consider yourself an expert in these oral skills or youre just beginning to explore the possibilities, this book will help you discover the pleasure of your own style of seductive linguistics while learning more about your sweethearts sexuality and your own. Nice girls like you and I can turn out to be the best dirty talkers, and Im going to show you exactly how you can feel good about talking dirty!
For most of us, this is a radical new way to think about dirty talk. Few of us consider explicit language to be artistic, intimate, or even enticing. Its a foray that we imagine is better left to the young, indelicate, or downright crude. Certainly its no pursuit for nice girls like us! What would people think if they knew that our lips could utter such inappropriately brazen thoughts in a passionate moment, hours after addressing a lecture hall or a client? Or perhaps theres a deeper reason why dirty talk is taboo.
Indeed, some of the most powerful and verbally skilled women have been celebrated for their ability to tantalize a lucky listener. According to Betsy Prioleua, author of Seductress: Women Who Ravished the World and Their Lost Art of Love, If you study the great seductresses, one thing they had in common was great verbal skills. It was their chief aphrodisiac. In fact, according to Prioleua, some of the greatest seductresses throughout history were not traditionally attractive women. Some didnt even wear makeup or dress up for their lovers! Instead, they were known for their wit and words, which drew men to them like moths to a flame. Could it be that theres a special power in dirty talk, a secret were not supposed to discover?
Scheherazade, the legendary Persian queen and storyteller, not only saved her own life but seduced her king into fathering children with her and marrying her through the art of sharing one story after another, night after night. No doubt some of these tales were of romance and carnal desire. Now, Im not suggesting that you memorize one thousand naughty stories. But if Scheherazade could introduce herself to a king and become his queen with nothing but her voice and imagination, perhaps you can offer a few wanton words sure to put a tremble in your sweethearts knees.
Gaining Confidence
Confidence is an amazing thing. Not only is it deliciously contagious and easy to grow once planted, it also has that handy fake it till you make it quality. Youve taken an important step toward increasing your own sensual self-assurance simply by joining me for this book. One of the best ways to gain this kind of confidence is to surround yourself with others who have it and believe that you have it, too, even if its a bit hidden.
How do I know this about you? First of all, I know that it matters to you, because youre holding this book, and thats the most essential ingredient. Second, Ive helped many nice girls just like you discover that they really are secretly erotically daring. In fact, I consider you a secret erotic superhero, as youll see later.
As a sexuality educator, Ive worked with many clients who spent months tongue-tied, too shy to tell me why they had even hired me in the first place! Some of them were single when we began to work together; others had long-term partners. Quite a few even brought their sweethearts to our sessions, many of whom were just as shy and benefited just as much.
Nice girls have often learned to keep some of our confidence under wraps, and sometimes we forget about it. Dont worry, I know its there even if youve lost track of it and need a few reminders of how to get to it. While youre getting back in touch with that inner strength, youll learn how to fake it in fun ways until those sweet somethings slip through your lips as easily as please and thank you. In fact, you might find yourself using more of those words in naughty ways, too.
Best of all, learning to be a savvy dirty talker is fun! Sure, it might raise your anxiety a bit in the beginning, but youll be glad you pushed yourself as you start to look forward to your next opportunity to drop a subtle hint or unleash a torrid request. One of my favorite clients, Rose, told me about her experience after one of my workshops. She had participated in a couple of the exercises included in this book and found herself feeling inspired. After the workshop ended she joined the hosts, me, and a few other attendees for a late-night bite and a glass of wine at a nearby tapas restaurant.
Rose was boisterous, with a hearty laugh, as we discussed different parts of the workshop and how they applied to our own lives. Still, I remember that she was more eager to ask about others experiences than to disclose her own. What I didnt know is that she was working up her courage to try dirty talk for the first time with her husband.
After the sangria had her more relaxed, she slipped off to the restroom and quickly typed out a text message for him: Ive had a few glasses of sangria, and it has me wanting you. Dont go to bed before I get home. She sent the message before she had a chance to think twice, knowing he was on the train home and unlikely to have reception. He wouldnt be able to answer right away. Rose then rejoined our group with a blush on her cheeks that didnt come from the wine. Of course, we all noticed, and with a burst of confidence she passed around her phone so we could read what she wrote. Roses message may sound tame, but it got her intent through very clearly and was sure to get her husbands attention and have him eager for her return!
After her nerves calmed a bit, and with some encouragement from the group, she pulled out her phone again and sent a second message: I cant stop thinking about you and the way your lips feel on my mouth and ... Cheers and whistles erupted from our group as she passed around her phone again. Rose soon decided she had time for a third message before she left to take her train home: Remember how we used to kiss in high school? If not, Im ready to remind you. And more. She tucked her phone into her purse, paid her tab, and rushed to catch a train so she could change before her husband arrived home.
Later, Rose dropped me an e-mail to let me know that her husband was too stunned to respond when he got the messages. But he did hop in a cab to rush home, instead of transferring from his train to a slower bus. Theyre getting better and better at these naughty messages, and Rose is thinking of reading some of them aloud to him soon. Although she was nervous at first, she discovered that it was not only sexy but fun to flirt and tease in this new way.