Alicia Muñoz - Stop Overthinking Your Relationship: Break the Cycle of Anxious Rumination to Nurture Love, Trust, and Connection with Your Partner

If you ever feel like you are drowning in the negative cycles of your own thought, this is the book for you. Alicia Muoz provides a detailed description of this debilitating phenomenon, and an equally detailed description of the process of moving from rumination to engagement and connection. We recommend a careful reading and practice of the liberating processes.

Harville Hendrix, PhD , and Helen LaKelly Hunt, PhD , coauthors of Getting the Love You Want

Alicia Muoz is a true artistin how she sees the nuances of relationships and in how she helps readers address the complexities in simple yet effective ways. It doesnt hurt that she draws us in with writing thats at once compassionate, direct, and utterly engaging.

Livia Kent, MFA , editor in chief of Psychotherapy Networker

Relationship rumination is an unrecognized issue and a major problem in couples therapy, and this book gives a clear map to see a way through. Alicia Muozs SLOW process is easy to follow and makes intimacy an adventure. Everyone contemplating a relationship should read this book, and every therapist trying to help couples out of conflict and into a loving connection needs to know these exercises.

Tammy Nelson, PhD , TEDx speaker, and author of Open Monogamy

Muoz describes the pervasiveness of overthinking, outlines its destructive nature between partners, and offers tools to replace overthinking with presence. Ruminations devastation often unfolds because people are unaware of these tendencies, and this book gently invites the reader to consider their own origins of rumination. She outlines the SLOW strategy of seeing, labeling, opening, and welcoming as an effective alternative to rumination. This is a must-read for everyone in a relationship!

Lori Brotto, PhD , Canada Research Chair in womens sexual health, and professor at the University of British Columbia

This tender, insightful, and well-written book will help you recognize and break the habit of overthinkingthe cheapest and most accessible mind-altering substance there is. Alicias profound practice of SLOW (seeing, labeling, opening, and welcoming) is a concrete tool to help couples reduce their anxiety by helping them understand their internal experiences rather than defending against them. This practice will transform your relationships and your own well-being.

Jillian Pransky , author of Deep Listening

Its so hard to accept that our thoughts about our partner are often neither true nor helpful. Blending research, practical advice, and case studies, Alicia Muoz shows how you can deal with these blaming, worrying, doubting, controlling, or self-pitying ruminations. She offers readers practical, inspiring guidance through the SLOW technique and other tools to enable them to reap the benefits of connection, healthy boundaries, and safety in love.

Gleb Tsipursky, PhD , cutting-edge expert in relationship science; and author of the global best seller, The Blindspots Between Us

If youve ever experienced the ways that incessant worrying can erode the foundation of a relationship or undermine your self-confidence, then youll appreciate Alicia Muozs straightforward guide to slowing down, reconnecting to yourself and others, and finally resolving whatever might be causing your anxious mind to go into overdrive. Those thoughts will become a giftonce you learn how to unwrap them and use whats inside to reclaim your power.

Neil Sattin , host of the Relationship Alive podcast

Many clients struggle with rumination and making up stories about themselves and their partners, which ultimately undermines their relationships and well-being. With many helpful analogies, client examples, and concrete exercises, this is a very accessible handbook to help couples move through these deteriorating patterns. Instead of allowing anxiety and the illusion of control to run relationships, Alicia Muoz deftly teaches how to build relationships based on choice, clarity, emotional availability, awareness, and teamwork.

Jennifer Gunsaullus, PhD , sociologist, intimacy coach, international speaker, and author of From Madness to Mindfulness

Once again, Alicia Muoz delivers on her promise to help us bring more care and awareness to our intimate relationships. In Stop Overthinking Your Relationship, she skillfully and wisely unpacks one of the most pervasive, pernicious, and poorly understood problems in relationshipsdestructive, ruminative, out-of-control thinking. Readers will see themselves on these pages and benefit immensely from her brilliance and generosity.

Alexandra H. Solomon, PhD , professor and licensed clinical psychologist at Northwestern University, author of Loving Bravely and Taking Sexy Back , and host of the Reimagining Love podcast

Anxiety and overthinking cloud the lens through which we view and experience our relationships, often fueling disconnection and challenges that, left unchecked, become increasingly difficult to overcome. In this book, Alicia Muoz blends her expertise and vast experience to peel back the curtain on anxious overthinking, illustrate the overt and nuanced ways it affects relationships, and, importantly, she shares tools and practices that reveal a clear path to more understanding, connection, and love.

Jodi Richardson, PhD , international anxiety and well-being speaker; best-selling author of Anxious Kids and Anxious Mums ; and host of the podcast, Well, hello anxiety

Alicia Muozs Stop Overthinking Your Relationship highlights the problem of relationship ruminationand charts a path toward healthier relationships. Muoz knows that this kind of change takes courage. Her friendly approach is vital: she portrays a persistent belief in positive change. The result is the compelling gift through which both partners will be able to be themselves, making relationship growth an adventure.

Foreword Reviews

Publishers Note

This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering psychological, financial, legal, or other professional services. If expert assistance or counseling is needed, the services of a competent professional should be sought.

NEW HARBINGER PUBLICATIONS is a registered trademark of New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

New Harbinger Publications is an employee-owned company.

Copyright 2022 by Alicia Muoz
New Harbinger Publications, Inc.
5674 Shattuck Avenue
Oakland, CA 94609
www.newharbinger.com

All Rights Reserved

Cover design by Amy Daniel

Acquired by Elizabeth Hollis Hansen

Edited by Gretel Hakanson

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Munoz, Alicia (Licensed Professional Counselor), author.

Title: Stop overthinking your relationship : break the cycle of anxious rumination to nurture love, trust, and connection with your partner / Alicia Munoz, LPC.

Description: Oakland, CA : New Harbinger Publications, [2022] | Includes bibliographical references.

Identifiers: LCCN 2022020549 | ISBN 9781648480034 (trade paperback)

Subjects: LCSH: Man-woman relationships. | Couples--Psychology. | Interpersonal relations. | BISAC: FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS / Marriage & Long-Term Relationships | PSYCHOLOGY / Psychotherapy / Couples & Family

Classification: LCC HQ801 .M8449 2022 | DDC 646.7/7--dc23/eng/20220520

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2022020549