Stefanie Wilder-Taylor - Gummi Bears Should Not Be Organic: And Other Opinions I Cant Back Up With Facts

For my familyJon, Elby, Sadie and Matildawithout you there would be no book to write.

I have so many people to acknowledge and so little time due to so many children and so little childcare, but here goes: Thank you to Jennifer Bergstrom (the big Cha Cha at S&S) who believes in me time after time. I will always be grateful that you started my career! To Lauren McKenna, my super-fab editor for hearing my voice, listening to my neuroses (yes plural), having incredible vision, and adding sharp jokes! Elana Cohen, thank you for your great insights and always being on the other end of the phone in a crisis! Jennifer Robinson (J-Rob), cant wait to work on this with you again! And, of course, my agent, Alan Nevins, thank you for your guidance, wisdom, and really getting my humor!

Thank you to my Mom Friends: Lara Tochner, Julie Kasem, Cecily Lerner, and Kelly Hunter for keeping it real, helping me stay sane, listening to my ideas, giving me support, being my foundation, and making me laugh. You guys all set great examples in parenting! Thanks to Deirdre Walsh for very quickly going from my school mom friend to my Person! Youve saved my ass on more than one occasion!

Wendi Aarons, girl, I owe you big-time for your super-swift, laugh-out-loud, in-the-nick-of-time help! They were, in fact, all gems.

Shout-out to my brother, Michael Wilder, and my SIL Racquel, and their brood! I couldnt ask for a more supportive family to muddle through all this with me!

Lisa Sundstedt, heeeeelllloooo! Your friendship and support for over twenty years means everything.

Thank you so much to Bronwen OKeefe and Kim Powers for giving my voice and humor such an incredible home at NickMom. Im forever in your debt. And to Hugh Fink: Im so glad I had the incredible fortune to partner up with you! You make everything better!

Also, to Lori Nasso, Anna Lotto, Anna Lefler, Katie Massa Kennedy, Danielle Koenig, Beth Armogida, thanks for making me sound way smarter than I am!

A special thanks to all my Facebook friends who took the time to answer my queries, add your opinions, and keep my spirits up! I am so grateful!

To my thoughtful, sweet, smart, beautiful kids. Elby, Sadie, and Matilda: I am crazy, crazy, crazy for you. I hope Im doing okay in the mom department. You are killing it in the kid department.

And, last but not least, my husband, Jon: Thank you for reading every chapter, giving me hilarious jokes, putting up with my insanity, bringing me home CCC, and letting me drive. I still sometimes cant believe how much I lucked out. I love you.

T he main complaint I have about parenting (and if youve read my other books youll know my list of complaints is long) is that there is no one perfect way to do it. Although there are plenty of people who claim otherwise. There are more experts, books, and parenting philosophies than you can shake a positive EPT stick at, and a lot of them have differing views. Should I force my kids to play the violin until their fingers bleed while yelling at them in Mandarin and Cantonese, la the Tiger Mom? Or, as per the French, should I be raising my kids on three buttered croissants a day while smoking, drinking red wine, and having a mnage trois? Obviously Im kidding; croissants are super fattening.

Its difficult enough to digest all the information, let alone to distill it into practice. Especially in that first year. That first year is a beeyotch. That first year I felt like Id been dropped on a desert island with a naked stranger who was constantly hungry and crying for no discernible reason. It was sort of like being a contestant on Survivor , except add in bleeding nipples and instead of a million-dollar prize substitute a drained bank account. But hold on, Im making it sound better than it is.

I read way too much about parenting that first year because I had important decisions to make: If I dont breast-feed, will my babys future be limited to folding T-shirts at Old Navy for a living? If I let her cry it out, will she not be able to make attachments and grow up to be a sociopath? Okay, I may have been a little paranoid. But with good reason. When I wanted to stop breast-feeding I made the mistake of Googling it and came across this from BabyCenter: One large study by the National Institute of Environmental Health Sciences showed that children who are breastfed have a twenty percent lower risk of dying between the ages of 28 days and one year than children who werent breastfed. What? Yeah. Have fun weaning!

And my new-mom friends werent of any help, because when I told them I was thinking of quitting breast-feeding they were like, Did you read that study on BabyCenter? No? Let me e-mail it to you!

As my daughter got older, Im ashamed to say I became even more neurotic, because I realized I had a child. My baby was no longer just a little lump of clay, incapable of storing memories for her future tell-all memoirs. The free ride through Amnesia Town had just screeched to a stop in Every-Decision-Has-a-Consequence-Ville. I mean, I spent so much time researching preschools youd think my kid was getting an experimental medical procedure and not just learning the proper way to hold a crayon.

But then, a few years later, something miraculous happened: I had twins. Twin girls. And I had them six weeks early (clearly that part sucked, but hang on). When your kids health is in crisis, it has a way of putting things in perspective. Suddenly I had no time to worry about stupid stuff, such as whether I should make sure they tried strained peas before we moved on to pears so that they wouldnt get hooked on the sweet sweet taste of fruit and never want to try a vegetable. Honestly, I could give a fuck. I was far too busy trying to keep them alive while maintaining a stranglehold on my sanity. The twins had colic, one of them wasnt eating, and I hadnt showered since my third trimester.

And through that experience, in my strive for balance and serenity, a glorious new parenting style emerged. Actually its more of a parenting nonstylea whatever works approach. Its a perfect cocktail made from a blend of one part neurosis and two parts this is my eighth kid.

I used disposable diapers and never touched a bottle sterilizer, but I buy organic chicken at Whole Foods because I dont want my daughters getting their periods at eight. I also buy Goldfish crackers in bulk and I allow my kids plenty of TV, but I keep a very regular bedtime routine. I dont insist on a bath every night (and sometimes teeth brushing gets pushed off until morning), but story time is sacred. Maybe thats my parenting philosophy: read! But Im not going to have that embroidered onto a pillow anytime soon.

I care about things like how many cookies they eat or how much TV they watch, but I temper that with being aware of how those factors are actually affecting them and do not just base it on the latest scare study. They may love TV, but it doesnt seem to be giving them ADD or making them lose interest in using their imaginations. So, do they sometimes watch a shitload of it in one day? Yeah. And guess whatsometimes they dont watch TV at all! You dont know what Im going to do next! Im a crazy renegade!

Im not the sweets police either; when my kids have had a couple of cookies for dessert and they ask if they can have one more, I give it to them! Some may think Im giving childhood obesity the finger, but Im just crazy like that.