Meagan Francis - The Happiest Mom: 10 Secrets to Enjoying Motherhood

Are you a happy mom? Do you believe you can use the words happy and mom in the same sentence? Do you believe you can use the word happy at all, without it being followed by birthday, a piata, and an extensive cleanup? Do you want to be a happier mom? Who doesnt, right?

Being a parent these days doesnt always look so rosyif you read all the confessional mommy blogs and memoirs out there that dish the real poop (literally!). You hear motherhood talked about in terms of surviving and copingnot being happy or having fun, unless a margarita is involved. I get it: Having a baby and raising children are life-changing experiences. Motherhood is challenging. Its frustrating. Its exhausting. Sometimes it makes you want to curl up into the fetal position and call for your own mommy.

But while motherhood isnt a 24/7 ride on the fun-o-matic, neither is it a 24/7 ride in a Cheerios-strewn minivan. We can learn to deal with the hard stuff, let go of what doesnt matter, and enjoy our lives as mothers. Yes, we really can all be happy moms. And I hope this book helps you become one.

I wasnt always the happiest mom on the block. When my two oldest kids were young, I fantasized about running away from the zoo our home had become and joining the circus instead, or the coast guardreally, any group whod have me. Everything seemed so hard, and every decision weighed heavy on my mind: What if I made the wrong choice? But as my husband and I added more children to the mix (five in all), something surprising happened. Instead of becoming more unhappy, stressed, and anxious, I became happier, more relaxed, and more confident. Through trial and error, and the natural ups and downs of raising a growing family, Ive figured out some strategiessome obvious, some unexpectedthat help keep my scale tipped toward the happy mark.

In this book, Ill explain what Ive learned. Ill also share lessons from the editors of Parenting magazine and insights from its readers. Ive organized this advice into ten secrets, and the first one I want to talk about, the one I think is the basis of all the others, is this: Its okay to take the easy way out.

Its true that being a happy mom sometimes means doing things the hard way. Maybe we cook from scratch because we enjoy it. Other times, we choose the harder road instead of the path of least resistance because itll make things easier in the long runlike teaching our kids to tie their laces so we dont have to do it for them five times a day once we can no longer find Velcro-tab shoes in their size.

Whether its sewing your kids clothes or building your own picnic table, if anything youre doing the hard way brings you satisfaction and joy, or you feel is so much better for your family, then Im not going to quibble with you. Youre talking to the woman who actually enjoyed laundering and folding cloth diapers. Hey, it made me happy!

But we all probably have things we pour our energy into without having a good reason why. Are there a few things in your life that seem harder than they should be? If youve found yourself packing your child a lunch worthy of a four-star restaurant when shed be happy with PBJ, or if you keep dragging your toddler to that over-crowded story time at the library even though youd both rather settle in with a book on your bed, those activities may be worth reconsidering.

I always felt like I should make extra-special goody bags for my sons birthday parties. Once, I drove 20 miles to a teachers supply store to make sure I had educational toys. This year, my husband and son went to a party store and bought premade Spider-Man ones. I was equally horrified and relieved. My son didnt care one way or the other. -Elizabeth

I admit it: There have been times that Ive done things a certain way to make a good impression on other moms (or at the very least, to avoid looking like a loser). Like the time I made healthy sugar-free cookies for playgroup rather than bringing along the usual Goldfish crackers. I could much more easily have brought a big bunch of bananasit would have been equally healthy and not as time-consuming!

Remember that because its technically possible for us to pull off something (something being anything from clipping your newborns micro-nails to helping your daughter make a volcano for science class using toothpicks, fruit leather, soda, and Mentos) doesnt mean that we should. Its part of that supermom myth that Id like to throw in the Diaper Genie.

Are you sensing a pattern? Any time something feels hard every time you do it, ask whether it could be any easier with a little thought. When we look closely at our motivations and weed out those energy-suckers, we can focus on the things that really matter to us and forget the rest.

Lets take a look at some of the not-so-great reasons moms sometimes sweat it out by ourselvestake the quiz in this chapter to identify any that slow you downand why its okay to choose the less-taxing route. Then read the previews of the coming chapters, so you can think about which will be the most helpful for you.

One big thing that made my life easier: skipping school field trips. I didnt enjoy them but felt like I had to volunteer. Teachers began to expect it, and I felt like I couldnt say no. Until one day, I did. I said, No. The kids had a great time and didnt miss me one bit. -Kathreen