Melody Wilding LMSW - Trust Yourself: Stop Overthinking and Channel Your Emotions for Success at Work

PRAISE FOR MELODY WILDING AND TRUST YOURSELF

Groundbreaking and insightful, Trust Yourself is essential reading for every sensitive, introverted professional. Wilding does a brilliant job of giving you tools to regain your confidence and become your most empowered self.

SUSAN CAIN, author of Quiet and creator of Quiet Revolution

Every organization, whether aware of it or not, needs highly sensitive people. Some of them, the Sensitive Strivers, really belong in an organization. At the top! Or running their own. Trust Yourself is an exquisite road map written just for Sensitive Strivers looking to thrive in the workplace.

DR. ELAINE ARON, bestselling author of The Highly Sensitive Person

In a world that constantly urges us to be more and do more, many of us wind up feeling never good enough or smart enough. Trust Yourself takes you on a gentle journey of self-discovery and provides the encouragement and tools needed to get out of the rat race and back into the human race. Wildings is the voice we all need inside of our heads guiding us to make healthier choices for a more fulfilling life.

LOIS P. FRANKEL, PHD, author of Nice Girls Dont Get the Corner Office

Wildings messagetrust yourselfis much needed.

JULIA CAMERON, author of The Artists Way

Trust Yourself is a practical, empathetic, and refreshingly relatable guide to settingand honoringthe boundaries you need to achieve personal and professional fulfillment. A must-read for anyone seeking a life with less stress and more success.

LIZ FOSSLIEN, coauthor and illustrator of No Hard Feelings

I found myself nodding my head a lot while reading this book. Trust Yourself helps us gain self-awareness around the qualities that make us Sensitive Strivers and gives us the tools to assess how these individual qualities serve us or deplete us so we can direct our energy towards becoming the person we aspire to be.

FRAN HAUSER, startup investor and author of The Myth of the Nice Girl

Working with Melody gave me the courage to channel my sensitivity into a super strength. I will be giving everyone on my team this book. Trust Yourself is a must-read for every heart-centered, empathetic leader and professional who wants success without so much stress.

CLAUDE SILVER, Chief Heart Officer, VaynerMedia

Larger-than-life expectations have led to more pressure at work and a surge in imposter syndrome. In Trust Yourself, Melody Wilding leads with empathy and delivers foolproof strategies that anyone can use to overcome doubt and reclaim their confidence.

GEORGENE HUANG, CEO and cofounder of Fairygodboss

You could burn out trying to succeed, or you could read this book. The engaging strategies, practical tips, and exercises in Trust Yourself will help any Sensitive Striver excel at work and level up in their career.

ALEXANDRA CAVOULACOS, founder of The Muse

Copyright 2021 by Melody Wilding.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher.
Sensitive Strivers is a trademark of Melody Media Group LLC.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Wilding, Melody J., author.
Title: Trust yourself : stop overthinking and channel your emotions for success at work / Melody J. Wilding, LMSW.
Description: San Francisco, California : Chronicle Prism, [2021] | Includes bibliographical references. | Identifiers: LCCN 2020043646 | ISBN 9781797201962 (hardcover) | ISBN 9781797202006 (paperback) | ISBN 9781797201993 (ebook)
Subjects: LCSH: WomenVocational guidance. | Confidence. | Self-esteem in women. | Self-realization in women. | Success in business.
Classification: LCC HF5382.6 .W554 2021 | DDC 650.1082dc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2020043646

Book design by Pamela Geismar.
Typesetting by Maureen Forys, Happenstance Type-O-Rama. Typeset in Cormorant Garamond, Trade Gothic, Franklin Gothic, and Manus.

Names in this book have been changed to ensure privacy and confidentiality.

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www.chronicleprism.com

For Mom and Dad, who believed in me
even when I didnt believe in myself.
I love you with all my heart.

Can you remember who you were, before the world told you who you should be?

CHARLES BUKOWSKI

IT HIT ME LIKE A TON OF BRICKS one Saturday night. Sitting at a half-empty Starbucks on the Upper East Side, I realized I had made a terrible mistake.

For months, I had looked forward to a close friends wedding weekend. My hotel was paid for. Travel arrangements had been made. I couldnt wait to celebrate the bride and to see all of my college friends in one place. But, in the week leading up to the wedding, new projects piled up at work, and I felt enormous pressureboth internal and externalto be available and responsive 24/7. I couldnt stop obsessing about my never-ending to-do list, I found myself feeling guilty about taking time off, and I agonized about whether or not I should actually go. One part of me craved time away filled with fun, laughter, and relaxation while another reminded me how behind I felt and how much I could get done if I stayed home. At the last minute, I bailed. Sure, I was making the right decision for my career, but that Saturday, while my friends celebrated together, I was alone with my laptop, swimming in regret.

All my life, I had been a classic A-plus, gold-star, good girl who lived to exceed expectations. Diligent and disciplined, I worked hard to earn high grades in school, graduated at the top of my college class while balancing multiple jobs, and went on to get a masters in social work from Columbia University, so I could work in mental health. I dreamed of becoming a therapist, until well-meaning loved ones and advisors cautioned against it. You cant make money as a therapist. You should go into healthcare or technologysomething more stable and lucrative. I followed their advice and took a job as a researcher at a fast-paced healthcare center in Manhattan.

From the outside, it looked like I had it all. I was accomplished, lived in a big city, and had a clear career path. But on the inside, I was frazzled, restless, and depleted. Rather than seeing my psychological state for what it wasa sign that my habits and behaviors were unsustainableI took my sadness and disappointment to heart. Everyone else seemed so together. What was wrong with me?

Though I had no way of knowing it then, I wasnt alone when it came to how I felt. Sensitive, ambitious people are often so worried about what others think and so influenced by common definitions of success that they dont know how to direct their energy toward what they really wanta fulfilling life coupled with a sense of confidence and control. Theyve been taught that