Jo Hemmings - How to Have Great Sex

Contents

When you want to buy or rent your dream home, you go to an estate agent. When you want to learn to cook, you buy a recipe book from TVs latest celebrity chef. But who is there for you when you want to learn about having great sex? Or when you want to revive a flagging sex life?

How to Have Great Sex is the answer. This step-by-step guide takes you from the underrated pleasures of a good snog through to the best positions for having that quickie in a forbidden place and gives you all the advice you need on:

• How to initiate sex
• How to talk dirty
• How to give and get great oral sex
• How to enjoy casual, safe sex
• How to make love to the same partner for the rest of your life

Whether you are a novice wanting to move on from the basics of the missionary position, or an experienced lover aching to know how to pep up your sex life, youll find it all explained between these sheets in explicit, intimate, fun and supersexy detail.

This ebook is copyright material and must not be copied, reproduced, transferred, distributed, leased, licensed or publicly performed or used in any way except as specifically permitted in writing by the publishers, as allowed under the terms and conditions under which it was purchased or as strictly permitted by applicable copyright law. Any unauthorised distribution or use of this text may be a direct infringement of the authors and publishers rights and those responsible may be liable in law accordingly.

Epub ISBN: 9781407030807

Version 1.0

www.randomhouse.co.uk

1 3 5 7 9 10 8 6 4 2

Published in 2010 by Vermilion, an imprint of Ebury Publishing

Ebury Publishing is a Random House Group company

Copyright Jo Hemmings 2010

Jo Hemmings has asserted her right to be identified as the author of this work in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior permission of the copyright owner.

The Random House Group Limited Reg. No. 954009

Addresses for companies within the Random House Group can be found at www.randomhouse.co.uk

A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

ISBN 9780091929282

The information in this book has been compiled by way of general guidance in relation to the specific subjects addressed, but is not a substitute and not to be relied on for medical, healthcare, pharmaceutical or other professional advice on specific circumstances and in specific locations. Please consult your GP before changing, stopping or starting any medical treatment. So far as the author is aware the information given is correct and up to date as at November 2009. Practice, laws and regulations all change, and the reader should obtain up to date professional advice on any such issues. The author and publishers disclaim, as far as the law allows, any liability arising directly or indirectly from the use, or misuse, of the information contained in this book.

BEFORE YOU CAN have truly great sex and sustain the enjoyment of great sex you have to have sexual chemistry. But what is this mysterious thing called sexual chemistry? You cant mix it up in a lab and you definitely cant buy it over the Internet whatever your spam box tells you.

In its simplest form, sexual chemistry is that Im not sure why I fancy him but I do factor. Its the worlds way of ensuring that we dont all fancy the same type or even the same person.

If you just want sex, because youre feeling a physiological longing or are involved professionally in the industry and its what you do for a living, its perfectly possible to have sex without sexual chemistry. Its also possible to have decent sex as a marital duty, because its a Sunday morning and the kids are out and thats what you do or because you want to please your partner. But if you want passionate, intense, all-over tingling wow factor sex then sexual chemistry is critical. Its also what sees us through the difficult parts of a relationship.

Chemistry without lifestyle compatibility can pose problems in the long run. If common goals, social status and mutual interests arent there, then sometimes the real world kicks in and the relationship can dwindle. However, deep chemistry is such a bond that a strong and enduring sexual passion often justifies making more compromises on other fronts, so be less demanding outside of the bedroom and just go with the flow in lifestyle terms. On the other hand, if youve met someone who you really like and ticks all your boxes in terms of desired career, lifestyle, background and so on but you just dont really fancy them, they are very likely to stay simply a friend. You could date them and accept that the chemistry isnt there for you, but you cant expect the sparks to fly if you didnt feel that primeval urge pretty early on. You cant make chemistry happen and sometimes its incredibly annoying that this otherwise perfect partner just doesnt pop your toast, but thats chemistry for you. Unpredictable, uncontrollable and sometimes inappropriate.

Sexual chemistry cant guarantee you a lifetime of love, but its a massive support structure when the relationship is experiencing a down time and hugely rewarding and fun when youre going through the good times. And if you dont have sexual chemistry with your partner but youre in a sensible, pleasant and otherwise rewarding relationship and neither of you mind sex being a chore, bore or not necessary at all, then stick with what suits you.

But for most people its a critical element of finding a mate. Theres a multi-million-pound industry based on helping us find our mate via the Internet, singles events or professional matchmaking businesses. If all this was as simple as finding someone roughly our own age with a similar lifestyle who doesnt live too far away, then the industry might as well pack up and go home. The truth is that the industry survives because finding a partner with whom you find a potentially enduring sexual chemistry, just isnt that easy.

Mate selection is a highly complex process. And we are only consciously aware of a small part of it. Some of it is that low-lying level of consciousness, that draws us to someone but were not always sure why. We often fancy people like this in clusters. So if slightly vulnerable, unreconstructed men who look like Colin Firth or Kenneth Branagh do it for you, or dark-haired, luscious-lipped lovelies like Cheryl Cole or Angelina Jolie are your kind of woman, then you start to form a type and theres already a heightened awareness when you meet someone who looks similar. I call that our Attraction Awareness Radar, as it lies part in the conscious mind and part in the sub-conscious.

Then, we have the fully conscious part of sexual attraction. This is rarely due to looks alone, but involves other critical characteristics such as sense of humour, voice or creativity. These are a unique chemical template that is special to each individual and helps create a longer lasting and sexual chemistry.

The rest of sexual chemistry operates at a sub-conscious level and is dictated by all sorts of uncontrollable factors such as hormones, pheromones and lust. More of which in due course...

Scientific research has shown us, time and time again, that there are certain things that we all find attractive. Men tend to fancy women with features that suggest youth and fertility, including a low waist to hip ratio, full lips and soft facial features. Women are attracted to classic signs of virility, taut bodies, broad shoulders and well-defined masculine facial features. Traditionally, women are also drawn to power, wealth or the ability to achieve it and intelligence. These basic factors are all signs of sexual potency and good gene stock.