Susie Davis - Uncovered: Revealing the Secrets of a Sexy Marriage

2010 by Susie Davis

Published by Revell
a division of Baker Publishing Group
P.O. Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287
www.revellbooks.com

Ebook edition created 2010

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meansfor example, electronic, photocopy, recordingwithout the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.

ISBN 978-1-4412-1217-7

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.

Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture is taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version. NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com

Scripture marked AMP is taken from the Amplified Bible, Copyright 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

Scripture marked CEV is taken from the Contemporary English Version 1991, 1992, 1995 by American Bible Society. Used by permission.

Scripture marked Message is taken from The Message by Eugene H. Peterson, copyright 1993, 1994, 1995, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group. All rights reserved.

Scripture marked NLT is taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

The internet addresses, email addresses, and phone numbers in this book are accurate at the time of publication. They are provided as a resource. Baker Publishing Group does not endorse them or vouch for their content or permanence.

To my husband, Will Davis Jr.
for twenty-five years of marriage...
and for sharing all kinds of fabulous little secrets.

Contents

Thanks to...

• Will Davis Jr.my husband and my best friend
• Will III, Emily, and Saraamazing people who just happen to be my kids
• Dee Ehlerseditor and friend extraordinaire
• Lynn Walker, Christy May, Jodi Allen, Kalli Smith, Erin Aspegren, Julie Washington, Carol Young, Kristi Vaught, Liz Benigno, Melissa Patterson, Stephanie Lucke, Jeanne Crosno, Joni and Kevin Kendrick, Gary Sinclair, Todd Lewis, Richard Hasting, Mike Helton, Gary Walsh, Tony Colvin, and Blake Ehlersfor wisdom, humor, and authenticity
• Bill Jensenfor merciless teasing, expounding, and agenting
• Revellmy marvelous publisher led by the fabulous Baker boys
• Lonnie Hull DuPontfor believing in a girl, a book, and a title that occasionally colors outside the lines
• Claudia Marshfor being an outstanding publicist, dining with us on the Riverwalk, and putting us on the whiteboard
• Deonne Beronfor carting us around Michigan in the freezing cold and introducing me to the best chai tea latte on the planet
• Carmen Pease, Twila Bennett, Janelle Mahlmannfor endless marketing of Davis books
• Barb Barnesfor kind, light editing that makes me smile

RESPONSES FROM REAL MEN WHO LOVE THEIR WIVES

The Male Room section of the book is fairly simple. Since much of what I am writing about is in regard to what men think or say, I figured it would be more compelling if I got responses from real, live men. I knew that if I had actual men respond to the chapter themes, that would increase your likelihood of believing and agreeing to go along with my suggestions.

What I did was create a team of guys. These guys love their wives and honor their marriages. They keep lust in check and dont feed on pornography. And besides that, theyve all been married at least a decade. Theyre businessmen: contractors, salesmen, CEOs, and ministers. They represent your everymanthe guy next door.

So heres how it worked: After I finished writing each chapter, I sent several of the married men some questions. I didnt let them read the chaptersso they had no idea what I had writtenI simply sent them the questions cold. And then they answered via email. The very first round was for the chapter titled Is Food the New Sex? and the responses I got were so fabulous. The men were incredibly honest in their responses. But when the time came for me to see them, they were funny about letting me read what they had written. This is an email I got from one of the guys:

Susie,

Is this a joke? Are you secretly trying to figure out if your husband is the only one that thinks about sex all the time? I must say the excuse of writing a book is a very creative way to find out. See my answers below.

Youre not gonna kick me out of the church for answering honestly are you?

Whats not to love about that? They are such a great group of guys.

Back to the explanation. Their answers are uncut. I didnt pretty them up or move the sentences around. The only thing I corrected, if need be, was the grammar or spelling. The answers you read at the end of the chapters are the raw, real responses from those men. Men whom I think you will grow to appreciatefor their honesty is vulnerable. And what they have to say is touching. But mainly, its just incredibly help-ful. Some of their responses may be just what your husband would say if he had been asked.

Im thinking that their responses will ignite your curiosity about what your husband thinks about these issues. And Im hoping that perhaps youll enter into dialogue with him about what youre reading. But mostly, Im praying that youll read this book and be drawn with an irresistible, undeniable compulsion to love your husband body and soul. That youll become the wife you know your man needs, and that youll have the marriage youve always dreamed ofwith the man of your dreams.

Names have been changed to protect the innocent! If I used their real names here, youd be stalking them either in love or hateand I just couldnt do that to them, bless their sweet, manly hearts!

My garage is a mess. Cobwebs hang dutifully in the corners, boxes and bags of who knows what hide behind bikes, and a dusty old refrigerator sits sullen and quiet. I know my garage is dirty. I know that it needs organizing and sanitizing. Every day that I walk through it to get in my car, it begs for my immediate attention.

So I am going to pray about it. And after I pray about it, I am going to google garage organization and cleanliness. Then Ill probably participate in a neighborhood support group for people like me who have trouble with their garages too. I am certain that is the best way to get to the bottom of my issues with my garage.

Ridiculous, right? And yet, in many ways, that is precisely how we approach a marriage thats become messy. We recognize that our marriage needs attention and send up an SOS prayer. We read online articles that delve into the issues married couples face. And sometimes, we even join a self-help group and listen to others expound on their problems.

Now dont get me wrong, I believe there is a place for prayer, research, and therapy (been there, done that, and reaped the benefit). Its just that I think the truth is that while many of us are motivated to better our ho-hum marriages, we spend all our time and energy becoming experts on the subject without actually ever