COLOMBIA
Roosh V
2010 by Roosh V
http://www.rooshv.com
All rights reserved
Smashwords edition
Table Of Contents
WELCOME TOCOLOMBIA
It wasnt long ago that Colombia was a no-gozone for tourists. Your main concern wasnt becoming sick fromstreet food but getting kidnapped by the FARC and held up in somejungle dirt cave with menacing parasites that crawled up yoururethra and latched on for dear life.
Thankfully times have changed. The heavy handof President lvaro Uribe has diminished influence of the drugclans and pushed the FARC deeper into the jungle or across theborder to Venezuela. The currency has stabilized and the economyhas picked up with no inflation threat in sight (fun fact: most ofthe flowers sold in the United States are from Colombia). Touristshave flooded the country in search of something raw and edgy,unfortunately making it less raw and edgy with every passingmonth.
There are so many fresh tourists that ifthings hold Im afraid its just a matter of time until the popularColombian city of Medelln becomes spoiled like Rio de Janeiro,Brazil. Some say it has already happened, but I believe travel hereshould be enjoyable for years to come. Still, the last thing youwant is to meet a girl who is already experienced with banging andplaying gringos. To get the best of Colombian women you want to beone of her first gringos so the relationship is novel andfresh.
While Colombia has made great strides withits economy, keep in mind that its still an impoverished country.Most of the population is poor, and this will be very obviousduring your first cab ride from the airport when youll witnessdesperate masses tripping over each other to sell you things likegum and cigarettes. Common sense plays big here, so take the sameprecautions you would in shady parts of your nearest metropolitancity.
Poor Colombians arent savages, but if youlet your guard down or they sense weakness, they will takepapaya, as the saying goes. This means you shouldnt flashexpensive gold jewelry, watches, and electronic equipment,especially at night. Leave the SLR camera in your room after thesun goes down. Dont take a huge stack of cash from your pocketwhen paying for something on the street (keep big bills in aseparate pocket). Avoid carrying a wallet since professionalpickpockets look for bulges in pants. Dont stroll around in thegringo uniform of flip-flops, cargo shorts, and a beer in your handin unfamiliar areas, and definitely dont hop into a cab when drunkunless you want to be at the mercy of a man who makes less than $30a day. In other words, dont give papaya.
If youre going to get robbed in Colombia, itwill probably be by a cab driver who nicked your money while youwere passed out in his cab. If you get injured, it will either befrom eating improperly cooked food or from getting hit by a car ormotorcycle, since vehicles make no attempts to stop forpedestrians.
Whenever someone jokes with me aboutgetting kidnapped in Colombia, I know theyre an idiot who hasprobably never stepped outside of the United States. Kidnappingshould be your absolute last concern. You have a bigger chance ofkilling yourself in a bathtub or choking on a jellybean, but if youwant to go on an unguided tour in parts of the jungle where theFARC are known to have a presence, it wouldnt be a bad idea tomake out a will beforehand.
Before I go on about the logistics of gettingto Colombia, I want to give you a rough guide on how long youllneed to spend there in order to get your flag, which is a notchwith a girl who was born in another country. (For example, if agirl was born in Poland but moves to the United States where youbang her, you still get the Polish flag.) Assuming you have averagelooks, decent game where you can get laid on your own from time totime, and poor Spanish (under 500 words), youll need atleast two weeks to give yourself an honest shot of banging anon-prostitute. Four weeks would be more reasonable because itsimply takes time to meet enough girls necessary to get yourflag.
On the other hand, if you have basic Spanishconversational skills, meaning you can roughly communicate (albeitwith serious grammatical errors), youll need at least ten days,which includes two weekends. Even if youre fluent in Spanish, Idont recommend that you book a trip of less than ten days. BecauseColombia is not a one-night stand culture, you need enough time tobuild a pool of three or four prospects and then ride them outuntil you leave. Personally, even with my Spanish knowledge andgame, I would give myself two weeks, as it just takes a single badstreak to doom a shorter trip.
Be careful if youre fortunate enough to stayin Colombia for a month or longer. When youre aware of having somuch time, you dont hit the ground running and can actually haveless success than if you only had a couple weeks. The mindset ofbeing in a pressure cooker does wonders, and Ive seen it firsthandwith guys who had a short stay in Colombia and approached like afucking machine, getting their flag in only a few days. Longer isnot necessarily better if it causes you to slack off in theprocess.
If its difficult for you to stay in Colombiafor more than a week or two, dont worry because Ill share my tipsfor setting up dates with Colombian girls via various Internetsites before you arrive.
Bogot, Medelln, or Cali?
These are the three ideal cities for yourColombian visit, since they are well-populated and offer easylodging and logistics for the visiting gringo, along with a largepool of available women. If you plan on staying in Colombia formore than a month, it would be ideal to visit all three for atleast one weekend each to see which one fits you best, but forshorter trips I recommend you pick one city and stay there for theentire duration of your trip. Moving around too quickly will makeit hard to get your flag.
Bogot is the most populous city in Colombiawith nearly 7 million people. Its located in the middle of thecountry at an altitude of 9,000 feet, which may give you mildaltitude sickness for the first couple days of your stay (headache,nausea, and shortness of breath). There are numerous universitiesbut since the city is so heavily populated you wont notice a densecollege girl presence like other smaller South American cities suchas Mrida, Venezuela and Crdoba, Argentina. The air pollution isabominable and you may find yourself choking on fumes during taxirides through congested streets. Without a rail system, the cityssize becomes unmanageable, and getting from one part of town toanother is a headache. The weather is mild during the day but cooland rainy at night. There is a slight bohemian and hipster vibeamong the females, with Converse shoes and mullets being commonamong both sexes.
Medelln is the second largest city with 2.4million people. It has perhaps the best climate in the country;days hover around 80 degrees Fahrenheit and nights are made forjeans and a t-shirt. Unfortunately there is quite a bit of rain,especially during April, May, September, and October.
With a reliable, safe, and clean subwaysystem, Medelln is a much more manageable city than the capital,though slightly more dangerous, if you trust government statistics.The girls here are arguably more attractive because of theshallower paisa culture, which teaches young women to aimfor looks instead of brains. Gigantic fake breasts are not uncommon(as well as ass implants), especially in the richest part of town(El Poblado). This creates a cheesier vibe than Bogot, butMedellns permanent summer is also more pleasing to the eyes,since girls dont need to pile on the thick clothing.
Finally there is Cali, the countrys thirdlargest city and also the hottest. The girls here are a shadedarker, from stronger African-American ancestry, but are moresensual and friendly. This is the salsa capital of Colombiaanideal place to go if you prefer to dance in your nighttimepick-ups. Cali is more dangerous than Bogot or Medelln.