Roosh V - Bang

It started in the spring of 2001. I was 21 years old andspent my free time on the computer reading message boards or playing games. Ihad no skill with women and the ones I knew either used me for my brain totutor them or as an emotional tampon to feel better about the guys who didnttake their shit. I remember thinking how stupid the other guys were to treatsuch pretty and nice girls so poorly. Didnt they realize those girls willeventually get angry and stop talking to them?

My friends were unsuccessful with women too, so we all reinforcedour lack of skill during all-night games of Risk or poker. I wanted to get outof that cycle but felt I had little control to make a change. I observed otherguys and concluded that success with women was a skill you were born with.

Then there was one girl in my organic chemistry class that Istarted to like. She was Persian and the same age as me, with long curly hairand olive skin. We would study together in groups and I could have sworn thatshe was giving me extra attention. I analyzed the situation with my nice guyfriends and we concluded that she did like me as more than a friend.

After a couple weeks of hesitation, I finally asked her outon a casual date to the movies. She said she couldnt because she was verybusy. Weeks later, I saw her around campus holding hands with another guy.Instead of listening to lame love songs like I usually did, for the first timeI got angry. A lifetime of frustration and of not getting what I wanted becamefocused on that one girl. I was bitter that I, a nice guy, was getting passedover for guys I thought were losers.

So I started to ignore her. If I did end up talking to her,Id cut our conversations short. When she asked me to study Id lie and say Iwas studying alone, only to have her stumble upon my study group late at nightin the library. I started feeling good for treating her poorly. I hated her andeverything she stood for, which was my failure with women.

But then something interesting happened. She started makinga strong effort to gain my attention and favor. It was as if the harder Ipulled away, the closer she would come to me. That was the first time I understoodthat changing my behavior could affect how girls reacted to me. Soon it becameclear that interacting with women wasnt very different from the games I playedwith my nice guy friends, where changing tactics and strategies yieldeddifferent results.

At about the same time, I happened to click on a random linkwithin a business forum and stumbled onto something called Tonys Lay Guide.It was the best accident of my life. That guide had basic tips on how toapproach women, how to talk to them, how to kiss them, and how to have sex withthem. I immediately printed the entire thing in case the site went offline. Tome it reinforced the idea that you can learn how to get better, that you arentdoomed to a life of infrequent sex just because you werent born a natural.

I studied that guide for two months before I actually didanything. In May 2001, I approached a girl for the first time in a line of aclub. I talked to her for half an hour and got her number, to the surprise of bothme and my friends. It was probably beginners luck, but that first success soldme on the idea that studying game was a worthy cause.

Thats usually how it starts for most guys getting into the game:a random discovery followed by a first success or initial high when they dosomething theyve never done before.

Your Goal

What is it you want right now? Maybe you want to lose yourvirginity, sleep with a certain number of girls, find true love, or get athreesome. Or maybe you have goals that are more difficult to measure, such asbuilding confidence, becoming more outgoing, or becoming a better speaker.Whatever your goal is, its best to express it in a statement that will act asyour guide and motivational force. Think of it as being like a corporationsmission statement, that no matter what happens and what local creek is beingpolluted, you can look at it and remember whats really important.

A lot of people set a goal, work on it half-heartedly for amonth or two, realize its difficult to accomplish, and then switch goals (orquit altogether). Its a good goal if you arent sure whether you can reach itor notits a bad one if youre 100% sure you can. It should be a goal forwhich you need to seek outside knowledge or to acquire new skills. If its nothard, like most things in life, its not worth doing.

There are two parts to every goal you set out to achieve:the journey to the goal and the accomplishment of the goalitself. The journey is when you learn, innovate, attempt, and put yourselfthrough tough situations for the first time. This is where real growth takesplace. (Sometimes accomplishing a goal gives you less satisfaction and pleasurethan the smaller successes that preceded it.) If you dont quite reach yourgoal, thats okay too. The journey makes the concept of failure a gray areabecause youll be putting yourself through changes that will leave you withmore knowledge on how to succeed than when you first started. You can failall your life, yet accomplish more than those who never tried.

There have been volumes written on goal setting that make itmore complicated than it needs to be. Keep the process easy but effective bystructuring your goal in this format: Im going to ___________. Then writethat goal on a small piece of paper or a note card. Put it in your wallet, nextto your computer monitor, on your bathroom wall, or any place where youll seeit at least once a week. Visualize your goal to prepare your mind for the workahead.

Some productivity experts recommend that you attach a deadlineto your goal. For example: Im going to sleep with a mother and daughter teamwithin six months. I dont advise doing this because the game is so unpredictableand quirky that time goals can be discouraging during the inevitable coldstreak. As you gain skill, there will be periods where you sleep with multiplegirls in a short amount of time, followed by nothing for several weeks. Astrong desire that motivates you to act is enough.

Beware

Before you dive in and read this book, I have to warn youthat the journey can be difficult and often disappointing. Is it worth it? Yes,without a doubt. The payoff for you will be better quality women and more powerand confidence to get them, but it wont come without work on your part.

Youll need to interact with a large number of women in differentsituations and environments. Its not enough to just talk to the women younormally come into contact with at work or school. Like a salesman, you need tomake cold calls to get leads in the form of approaches. Youll go to bars andclubs and bookstores to meet women. Youll talk to them everywhere, alwayspracticing and experimenting. Youll follow through with them, call them on thephone, spend money on dates, and try to bang them. Youll maintain your stablelike a sheep herder maintains his flock. Youll put in your energy, your life blood,into a game that may leave you mentally exhausted. Youll deal with rejections,flakes, and temper tantrums that are negative and discouraging. Youll spendtime studying the game and taking notes, breaking down your encounters withwomen, and youll create material on your own.

A large component to becoming successful with women is time.You wont turn into an player overnight. The best analogy I can use to describethe game is bodybuilding. Within a short amount of time, youll see big gainsand experience euphoric confidence boosts, followed by peaks and valleys whereyoull lose or gain muscle mass depending on how motivated or healthy you are.Theres no end to bodybuilding, but there is a time when you look at the mirrorand say, Im happy with what I see.