Michael Castleman - Great Sex: A Man’s Guide to the Secret Principles of Total-Body Sex

Notice

This book is intended as a reference volume only, not as a medical manual. The information given here is designed to help you make informed decisions about your health. It is not intended as a substitute for any treatment that may have been prescribed by your doctor. If you suspect that you have a medical problem, we urge you to seek competent medical help.

Mention of specific companies, organizations, or authorities in this book does not imply endorsement by the publisher, nor does mention of specific companies, organizations, or authorities imply that they endorse this book.

Internet addresses and telephone numbers given in this book were accurate at the time it went to press.

SEX AND VALUES AT RODALE

We believe that an active and healthy sex life, based on mutual consent and respect between partners, is an important component of physical and mental well-being. We also respect that sex is a private matter and that each person has a different opinion of what sexual practices or levels of discourse are appropriate. Rodale is committed to offering responsible, practical advice about sexual matters, supported by accredited professionals and legitimate scientific research. Our goalfor sex and all other topicsis to publish information that empowers peoples lives.

2004 by Michael Castleman

Illustrations by Bonnie Hofkin

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or any other information storage and retrieval system, without the written permission of the publisher.

Book design by Tara Long

Illustrations by Bonnie Hofkin

Cover/part opener photographs by Pure/Nonstock

Material womens descriptions of their orgasmscomes from The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex, by Cathy Winks and Anne Semans (1994). It is reprinted with permission from Cleis Press, San Francisco.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file with the publisher.

ISBN-13 9781579547363 hardcover

ISBN-13 9781579547370 trade hardcover

ISBN-13 9781594869914 trade paperback

ISBN-9781623361228 eBook

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FOR ANNE,
MY TRAVELING COMPANION ON THE ROAD TO GREAT SEX,

AND FOR MY CHILDREN,
WHO, I HOPE, WILL CONNECT WITH EQUALLY CREATIVE LOVERS AND DISCOVER GREAT SEX FOR THEMSELVES.

MAKING LOVE IS PERFECTLY NATURAL,
BUT NEVER NATURALLY PERFECT.

THEA SNYDER LOWRY

OTHER BOOKS BY MICHAEL CASTLEMAN

Non-fiction:

The New Healing Herbs: The Classic Guide to Natures Medicines. Updated revision of The Healing Herbs (Rodale Press, 2001)

Blended Medicine: How to Combine the Best of Mainstream and Alternative Medicine for Optimal Health and Wellness (Rodale Press, 2000)

Theres Still a Person In There: The Complete Guide to Preventing, Treating, and Coping with Alzheimers Disease. Coauthored with Matthew Naythons, M.D., and Dolores Gallagher-Thompson, Ph.D. (Putnam, 2000)

Natures Cures: 33 Natural Therapies to Improve Your Health and Well-Being (Rodale Press, 1996)

An Aspirin a Day: How the Familiar White Pills Help Prevent Heart Attack, Stroke, and Cancer (Hyperion Books, 1993)

Before You Call the Doctor: Safe, Effective, Self-Care for Over 300 Common Medical Problems. Coauthored with Anne Simons, M.D., and Bobbie Hasselbring (Ballantine Books, 1992)

The Healing Herbs: The Complete Guide to Natures Medicines (Rodale Press, 1991)

Cold Cures: The Complete Guide to Prevention and Treatment of the Common Cold and Flu (Ballantine Books, 1987)

The Medical Self-Care Book of Womens Health. Coauthored with Sadja Greenwood, M.D., and Bobbie Hasselbring (Doubleday, 1987)

Crime Free: The Community Crime Prevention Handbook (Simon and Schuster, 1984)

Sexual Solutions: For Men and the Women Who Love Them (Simon and Schuster, 1980, 1989)

Fiction:

The Lost Gold of San Francisco (21st-Century Publishing, 2003)

CONTENTS

PART 1: PRINCIPLES OF GREAT SEX FOR MEN

Fit for Great Sex:
Your Fitness, Nutrition, and Lifestyle Choices Matter

Last as Long as You Want:
Principles of Superb Ejaculatory Control

PART 2: WOMENS SEXUALITY AND PLEASURE

Supporting Her:
What to Do When Sex Is a Challenge for Her

PART 3: MEETING EVERYONES NEEDS

PART 4: SEXUAL DESIRE AND SATISFACTION

You Never Want To.Youre Insatiable.:
The Struggle Over Desire Differences and Libido Loss

When Self-Help Isnt Enough:
A Couples Guide to Sex Therapy

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Special thanks to the members of the Great Sex Advisory Board, who gave so generously of their time and expertise, and who are quoted throughout the book:

LINDA PERLIN ALPERSTEIN, M.S.W., L.C.S.W.

has been a sex therapist for 25 years with a private practice in San Francisco, California. She is an associate clinical professor in the department of psychiatry at the University of California, San Francisco (UCSF) School of Medicine, and the former co-director of training at the UCSF Human Sexuality Program. In addition to her therapy practice, she teaches workshops on sex-related issues for medical students, psychiatry residents, psychotherapists, and sex therapists.

MARTY KLEIN, PH.D.

has been a sex therapist and relationship counselor in Palo Alto, California, for more than 20 years. He has written more than 200 articles and five books, among them: Beyond Orgasm: Dare to Be Honest About the Sex You Really Want, Let Me Count the Ways: Discovering Great Sex Without Intercourse, and Ask Me Anything: A Sex Therapist Answers the Most Important Questions about Sex for the 90s. Klein publishes the monthly e-newsletter, Sexual Intelligence, and maintains the Web site www.SexEd.org.

DENNIS SUGRUE, PH.D.

has been a sex therapist for more than 20 years. He practices in Bloomfield Hills, Michigan. He is a clinical associate professor of psychiatry at the University of Michigan Medical School. He is the founder and former co-director of the Henry Ford Center for Human Sexuality in Farmington, Michigan. He is a past-president of the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT), the nations largest credentialing organization for sexuality professionals. He is coauthor of Sex Matters for Women: A Complete Guide to Taking Care of Your Sexual Self.

LOUANNE COLE WESTON, PH.D.

has been a sex therapist and marriage, family, and child counselor for more than 20 years. She practices in Fair Oaks, California. For 7 years, she wrote the Sex Matters question-and-answer column for the San Francisco Examiner. Currently she answers sexuality questions for WebMD.