Kuhn Daniel - Left Swipes & Love: A Millennials Guide to Hookups, Dating and Tinder

Published by College Magazine

If you enjoy this book, you can find more dating tips and advice at www.collegemagazine.com.

Left Swipes and Love: A Millennials Guide to Hookups, Dating and Tinder is a collection of personal essays and expert advice featuring YouTubes Vinny and Luke Vaillancourt, Human Sexuality professor Dr. Robin Sawyer and dating coaches Lauren Frances and Dennis Procopio.

The information in this book should not be used for diagnosing or treating any relationship or sexual issues. The author and publisher disclaim any liability arising directly or indirectly from the use of this book.

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Cover design by Dena Bahar

Contents

INTRODUCTION

Welcome to college, the magical libido land where your one night stand can turn into a life partner in two shots of Jack flat. Waitwhat?

Your mom might not be the best source of dating advice anymore, given things have changed a bit since the day she took your dad home to meet grandpa. And she really doesnt need to know that having a sexcapade is just a matter of swiping left or right.

Fortunately for you our writers are not your mom. We have Tinder accounts and we really dont care about your naked time. You do you. But let us give you a few tips along the way.

Weve picked up that girl at the bar, weve kicked out a one-night stand, weve rocked a long distance relationship, weve survived the break up and weve started all over again.

I. Getting the Girl (or Guy)

Meredith Grey was just a girl at a bar, and Derek was just a guy at a bar. Maybe, youre just a naked dude in a fountain.

Boost your Confidence and Get the Girl

By Max Dietz

Everyone wants to be the Barney of the friend group, but unfortunately most of us are Teds. Youre still standing at the bar at last call, while the girl of your dreams is stumbling out on the arm of a frat bro. Why did that jerk get the girl?

Dennis Procopio, founder of Man-Up! Life Coaching meets one-on-one with millennials to help them gain confidence in dating. A graduate of Cooper Union for the Advancement of Science and Art in NYC, Procopio started coaching professionally 15 years ago. He has helped hundreds of guys navigate the dating world and facilitated 50 dramatic and obvious transformations through coaching. Now hes here to answer your burning questions on how to get a girlfriend while being your true self.

CM: Whats the best way to meet a girl?

DP: The number one thing a man can do is talk to a woman. True attraction is always mutual. If you find a girl attractive, she probably thinks you are too. Just say hello, and dont make it about sex.

CM: What attracts girls most to guys?

DP: Every man I know is a man who needs to learn to be less inhibited artistically and if its a guy who has already got a talent, then he needs to learn to be creative in an area where he is not comfortable. If he is a wicked guitar player then he should learn how to draw. Creativity is literally the number oneit is emotional Viagra.

CM: What can guys do to find a girlfriend?

DP: [Guys need to] find out what it is that they love and go out and do it. When dudes do something that they truly enjoy, they are going to meet women out there who enjoy the same things.

CM: How important is money when it comes to impressing girls?

DP: Women respond to the following in this order: confidence, talent and honesty. Money is like having a big dick. Money and a big dick make you feel confident and women like confidence, but they dont really care about it. For women dating in this age group, confidence is king.

CM: How can college guys improve their online dating profiles?

DP: The number one mistake that dudes make is that they have a fictitious idea in their head of what women want and they set up a post that is kind of bait. Dudes should, instead of trying to be what women want, figure out what they want in a woman and elicit that message as honestly as possible. They might only get five percent of the matches they would have gotten, but those five percent are probably the people that you should be dating anyway. Those are the people that youre genuinely compatible with.

CM: What challenges do college guys face when it comes to dating?

DP: The biggest problem that I have observed is that men do not realize that they are creative, men do not realize they are intuitive, men do not realize that they are kindWe are rude; were brutal. We are basically bombarded with stereotypes that become self-fulfilling prophesies.

CM: Whats the number one way that college guys can boost their dating confidence?

DP: Self-love is the number one problem that men have. Confidence comes from learning to love yourself. Learning to love yourself comes from learning to be healing. How do we heal rather than judge? By loving others. How do we love others? Through acts of kindness. The number one thing guys can do to [boost his] confidence is acts of kindness without thinking about it as something that is going to get them laid.

CM: What affects a guys ability to start a relationship?

DP: Get out of Fear Thinking. Men have been [taught] not to show fear and so we are very typically undereducated and under-equipped to deal with that so guys get stuckFear thinking is the most critical threat to male happiness and women are not attracted to men who are not happy and not confident.

CM: How can guys sustain a relationship?

DP: Relationship maintenance [for college guys] can be very tricky because there is a lot of emotional neediness going on at this age and there is also a lot of hormonal craziness going on. [Basically by being] a man who knows how to listen, how to talk and how to respect a woman.

CM: I saw on your website you mentioned, Bedroom skills. Can you please elaborate on those?

DP: Guys are all afraid that they will not perform well. They completely miss the idea that the hookup is romantic from the moment that they start interacting with the girl. If dudes could figure out that the intimacy of being physical is significantly more important to women than some Olympic, bell-ringing sexIf you are looking for the quality of experience over the quantity, it will come from being emotionally honest.

CM: What do you suggest to college guys who want to have a girlfriend but arent having any luck?

DP: If you are a guy who feels physically weak, get involved in a sport. Stop being the dude whos like, Jocks are dicks, and go get involved. If you are a guy who is a super jock that secretly thinks he is not artistic or sensitive, go take a Thai cooking class; go take a salsa dancing class. If you are really a man and you want to prove how manly you are, then man up and go dancing. Do things that challenge you to stop taking yourself so seriously. Learn how to go out and have fun.