Jenni Trent Hughes - Relationships & Dating: How To Find Love, Help It Grow, And Even Start Again If It All Goes Wrong

Relationships & Dating

Published by:
Greatest Guides Limited, Woodstock, Bridge End, Warwick
CV34 6PD, United Kingdom

www.greatestguides.com

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ISBN 978-1-907906-54-1

This book is dedicated to anyone out there who has
ever felt either the joy or the pain that love can bring
hopefully it will bring you more of the former and
less of the latter.

Love makes the world go round or so says the song. From the moment we can walk and talk, we are introduced to the concept of Love with a capital L. No sooner has it been established that Mummy and Daddy love you then you are catapulted into the world of fairytales and nursery rhymes. From Adam and Eve, to Cinderella and Prince Charming; Mickey and Minnie, to Shrek and Fiona. Love stories surround us on billboards, tv ads, magazines there is nowhere we can turn to avoid being bombarded with the idea that Love is all you need.

Before we start on our journey through the ins-and-outs of Love, Id like you to define for yourself exactly what you think Love is; and exactly what you think Love isnt. Clarifying your thoughts at the beginning will be invaluable. It will do a lot towards helping you understand your past behaviors. It will help show you what youve done right in the past. It will probably also show you where and how you might have gone off the track. This is crucial information, so we dont keep making the same mistakes over and over, which is what most of us do.

What I am hoping to accomplish with this book is to give you a wise auntie at your fingertips. Practical, no-nonsense advice on all the different aspects of meeting people, starting relationships and nurturing them. Sometimes, with the best will in the world, it might go wrong so I will also share with you some advice on how to extricate yourself from an unhappy relationship. We will also talk about dealing with the pain. Starting over. Finding strength to do that and how to begin the process. How to believe in yourself again. All the things you need to know to get back up on that horse.

Hopefully, in this small book, you will find a lifetime of answers.

Good luck!

Jenni

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life. That word is love. Sophocles

Love in the
21st Century

Love in the 21st Century

When I was a little girl, there was a wonderful schoolyard poem:

Jenni and Colin sitting in a tree,
K-I-S-S-I-N-G,
First comes love,
Then comes marriage
Then comes Jenni pushing the baby carriage.

Wasnt it wonderful when life was that simple? You knew exactly what was expected of you, exactly where you were going, and just what you would find when you got there. There was a blueprint of what life was meant to be like and a map to show you the way. There were specific ages at which you did things and certain ways in which they were done. There wasnt much straying from The Rules and, if you did, it was only something mildly adventurous, like getting married on an island in the Caribbean or maybe living together for a few months before the big day.

Welcome to the 21st Century now anything goes or just about. Things that our parents or grandparents would never have been able to come up with in their wildest dreams, or worst nightmares, are now a matter of course and no one bats an eyelid.

What does this mean to us? Well, to be successful at anything in life, it is really important to have a clear understanding of whatever the concept is that youre about to approach. Relationships are no different. It isnt that there is only one way to look at relationships but its crucial to know how you perceive them.

When you hear Men, Women, Relationships, Children, and Sex what images spring to mind? What definitions do you have for these words?

What is your definition of The Perfect Relationship? What does it look like? What does it feel like? How will you know when you have it? The reason were going through all of this now is because, like anything else in life, youll first need to know where you want to end up before you can figure out how best to get there

There is a very common problem that most of us (myself included) have and Ive not heard anyone else discussing it in magazines or books, so pay close attention its a bit tricky to grasp at first but, if you were clever enough to buy this book, then youre clever enough to get it are you ready?

One of the biggest causes of difficulties with having a successful working relationship nowadays is that most of us are living 21st Century lives yet still using 20th Century rules.

What that means is that were still thinking of ourselves and relationships through what we learned in the last century. Our references could have been anything from a Hollywood movie to Shakespeare. Frank Sinatra to Nellie Furtado. Soap operas on the telly or the How To Get A Man articles in your favorite magazine. Whatever they are, these last century references just dont work anymore. Think of trying to stick a CD into an iPad; old fashioned technology in a new-fashioned world.

If you want to make your love life work today, youd best be certain that youre up to speed with the way things are now. Yes, of course, Love with a capital L is still pretty much the same but the components and the journey are quite different indeed.

Lets run through some basics and see what your current perceptions areyou might feel that none of this applies to you, in which case, just feel free to jump ahead and get stuck in to the rest of the book

THEN versus NOW

MEN:

Last Century

Men were the providers. They headed up the family and went out to earn the money needed to run the household. They made most of the major decisions at least we let them think they did. The Man of the House chose the car, chose the house, the holidays and what the family watched on the television. He paid for it all, so there was an unwritten belief that as he owned the kingdom it was his to rule as he saw fit. No matter how amenable his personality, there wasnt a lot of disagreement that went on. If you wanted to change his mind about something, and you were the wife, you used trickery. If you were the child, you asked your mother to plead your case and she used trickery on your behalf. Outside of the home, society pretty much encouraged this king of all he surveys concept so men were catered to in all situations. From the office to the pub, from the church to the football stadium, dining table to living room sofa there was never a question of Whos the Daddy? you always knew it was the big hairy fella in the trousers. A pretty good gig was this being The Man thing, definitely nice work if you had the necessary equipment to get it.