Ronald F. Ferguson - The Formula: Unlocking the Secrets to Raising Highly Successful Children

Table of Contents

CONTENTS

T his book could not have been completed without all the many people who spoke to us, including the sixty people Tatsha began talking to in 2003 and all the students from Rons project at Harvard (most of whom were not mentioned in the book), as well as the many strangers (including all those new Millennial parents), colleagues, students, and interns who became so very excited every time we discussed the Formula.

Most important, wed like to thank the achievers who allowed us to tell their amazing stories: Kyoung, Ryan, Sangu, Maggie, Jarell, Rob, Lisa, Esther, David, Daniel, Suzette and Suzanne, Bree and Gina, Maya, Sarah, Chuck, Pam, Alfonso, Gabby, and NGai, Aida, and Nneka, plus Nailah and Troy.

We are particularly thankful for the master parents who discussed in detail how they raised exceptional human beings: Elizabeth Lee; Roger Quarles; Lou and Lee Peters; Yvonne and James Croal; Floyd Malveaux; Michelle Moye Martin; Dr. Edmund Nminyem Delle; Esther Wojcicki; Bob Humble Sr.; Sara Vargas; Reynaldo Hernandez; Elaine Badger; Lynne and Clarence Newsome; Elizabeth, Anny, and Mary Rosario; and Mahru Ghashghaei.

Special thanks to our hardworking transcribers: Destiny Perez in Miami, Allison T. McFarlane in New York City, and Marissa Diggs in Oakes, North Dakota. Interns Aphya Sade Verna, Autumn C. McMillian, and Camila Fang were invaluable. We owe our appreciation to photographer Andrew Prise, who hit the streets of New York City with Tatsha and traveled to Harvard to meet Ron, in order to help us document our journey.

We talked to so many people for this book that it would be simply impossible to name all of them here. Although many of their names did not appear in the final draft, their insights were present. Some brilliant people, like a handyman named Kevin, explained what they thought went wrong in their childhoods that prevented them from becoming what they believe they should have been. Others spoke in detail about how high achievement happens. Among those, there were several standouts: Michelle and Austin Harton and their daughters, Marie and Renee; Mario Baeza (Rons college classmate); Wayne Washington; Marsha Denise Gadsen (a participant in the How I Was Parented Project at Harvard); Janna Diggs; Tau Murapa; Lasaundra Jeter-Caldwell; Lisa Gressinger; and Crystal and Craig Clarkin and Carmen, their Yale-attending daughter (Tatshas niece).

Maxine Roels long conversations helped us understand the master parents thoughtfulness. Ann Marie Thomas spent many cookouts politely answering probing questions about how her daughter, former Essence magazine editor Vanessa Deluca, turned out to be an academic star. Dr. Melissa Clarke offered insight into her fascinating experience of being a high schoolage teenager at Harvard. Paula Penn-Nabrit, whose book Morning by Morning provided great understanding into how she and her late husband, Charles, homeschooled three high-achieving African American boys, answered every question asked or emailed to her. Her sons Charles, Damon, and Evans, too, took the time to sit and talk very candidly about their childhoods.

We must thank the participants of the Saturday Write Workshop in New York City, who for three years served as an unofficial focus group, loud critics, and fans: Maxine Roel, Anne Rourke, Jeremy Goldstein, Greg Basham, Ann Harson, Ashley Williams, Roslyn Karpel, Dawn Rebecky, Payal Kaur, and one of Tatshas oldest, dearest friends, Aliah Dorene Wright.

A loving thanks to our agent, Jeff Ourvan, who also happens to run the Write Workshops. That day you said the idea of the Formula was definitely a book, you set us on a long and magnificent journey. Thank you for your expert guidance.

We owe a special word of appreciation to Leah, our extremely patient editor. We cant thank you enough for your sharp skill, flexibility, your smiley emojis :), and kindness. How lucky were we that you were raising a very young and smart little boy while working on this project. To Glenn Yeffeth and everyone at BenBella, thank you for believing in this projectand in us.

From Tatsha:

First, Id like to thank my coauthor, Ron Ferguson. I secretly wished to write a book with Ron, so it was a special surprise when he proposed that he should join me in writing The Formula. Logical in thought but with a big, beautiful, poetic voice and heart, Ron made this very long journey unforgettableand divine.

I also want to thank all the people I dub my board of directors: my talented mother, Marcia Robertson (a strong writer and my first early-learning partner); my sister Carla (my second early-learning partner); my other sisters, Francine and Kyla (my two biggest fans) and Crystal and Kiara; my brothers, Victor and Tommy; and my sweet stepmom, Dottie, and father, Tony Upshaw. Others on the board: Kristal Brent-Zook, who gave me constant words of support; the talented Rosalind Bentley; Tamika Simmons; Toya Stewart; Joelle Williams; Ross Ellis; Jessica Jiji; Sebastian Rozec at A.O.C. in Manhattan; Jacqueline Flynn; and my niece, Mahalia Otshudy (you are a writer). I owe special thanks to Jill Smolowe; her husband, Robert F. Schwartz; and Jills daughter, Becky Treen, for those thought-provoking dinners. Many thanks to my supportive comrades Carol Kelly, Kemba Dunham, Duchesne Drew, Bryan Denis, Francie Latour, Nina Malkin, Dee Depass, and the members of my large Kilgore family (I promise Ill make the next reunion). And a word of appreciation to my supporters on Facebook and Instagram, and to everyone at my writing haunts: Starbucks and Panera Bread, both on River Road in northern New Jersey; iSpresso at Park and Merge Caf, both in Union City, New Jersey; the Wiawaka Holiday House at Lake George; WeWork in Brooklyn Heights; and green desk in DUMBO, Brooklyn.

Most important for me is my deeply supportive husband, Nico, who sparked the kernel of the Formula when he asked me to come watch an episode of 60 Minutes back in 2003, and who kept encouraging me on the book even when I was overwhelmingly tired from sixteen-hour days of researching and writing. For three years, Nico allowed me to take over his home office. He cooked delicious Blue Apron meals, and did all the grocery shopping, laundry, and cleaning while also working long hours himself building his own business. Despite the occasional challenges, Nico stayed positive and did everything he could to ensure my passion for this book could burn bright.

From Ron:

Coauthoring this book has been the deepest collaboration of my life. With Tatsha in New York and me in Massachusetts, we have become alter egos. If asked which of us conceived a particular thought or wrote a particular paragraph, theres a good chance we wouldnt remember. Thanks, Tatsha, for being a brilliant partner!

To my dear colleagues Rob Ramsdell, Sara Phillips, Alka Pateriya, Jake Rowley, Jocelyn Friedlander, Mari Barrera, Haji Shearer, Jeff Howard, and Wendell Knox at Tripod Education Partners (tripoded.com), the Achievement Gap Initiative (agi.harvard.edu), and Boston Basics (bostonbasics.org), thanks for your understanding and patience over the past three years, during all those times I kept you waiting because I was working on this book. Thanks also for the thoughtful reviews you provided as Tatsha and I were finishing the book and thinking of reordering some chapters. My new friends Edyson Julio and Ruth Summers responded to that same request, providing similarly helpful feedback.

Finally, there is my family, who has taught me not just what it means to be loved, but also about the everyday complexities of family life that convinced me writing this book could be important. To my mother, Gloria; my sons, Danny and Darren, and nephew Marcus, whom we raised as their brother; my brothers, Kenny, Homer, and Steven; and all my other nieces, nephews, and in-laws, I say thank you. And to my wife, Helen, there is nothing I could say or write to capture what you mean to me or how helpful youve been not just lately, but throughout my life. With the book complete and our fortieth wedding anniversary coming one week from the day I write these words, lets go have some fun!