Gerald L. Davis jr - Becoming A New Man The Manual

Becoming A New Man

The Manual To Manhood

Gerald L Davis Jr

A cknowledgments

I would like to thank God for showing me the ways to becoming a better man. At a time when so many of us are lost, and searching for self, I'm finally feeling fulfilled. I hope that by writing this book I serve your purpose in helping men such as myself identify their manhood. I would like to thank the ones who has supported me on this journey. To my oldest sister Kendra for always being a pillar in my life, I thank you and love the strength youve giving me throughout the process. To my kids for always being my motivation, always loving me genuinely. My mother for always making sacrifices for me, youve always been my biggest fan. To the ones who havent been mentioned, I Thank You !

Dedication

Im writing this book for you, the man in the mirror. For the reflection staring back at me questioning how did I get here. For the man thats ready to break the stigmas of society based manhood. Being a man comes with so many stressors and ideologies as if were all emotionally deprived, overly aggressive, egotistical, stubborn, leaders with a lot to say and no time to listen. Hold your head up, man! Show no emotions, man! Fight back, man! This was embedded into my core which I based my manhood off of, and the same manhood that led me to question the fabrics of my existence. A change had to take place, or I would become lost within my detrimental ideology. Based off of my experiences, I can tell you this process will be a challenging one. One that will require the stamina of an Olympic runner, the courage of a bullfighter, the ability to access your id, ego, and superego. You must be willing to walk alone through the concrete jungle of self. As I stare back at you (man in the mirror) realizing your interior doesnt reflect your exterior, Im ready to dive into the depths of your beliefs to change every fiber of your DNA. Youve worn that cloak for too long. Ill tell you that as you change the supernatural state, it will cause a change in your superficial state. Bury the old you, and resurrect the New Man.

Sincerely,

Self

Table of contents

Foreword

Chapter 1: New Man

Chapter 2: Self-Love

Chapter 3: Rebuild vs. Renovation

Chapter 4: I will not be defeated

Chapter 5: Breaking new ground

Chapter 6: Purpose vs. Passion

Chapter 7: Give genuine love

Chapter 8: Small victories

Chapter 9: Financial Freedom

Chapter 10: Spiritual Growth

Chapter 11: I Am

Chapters 12: Letters to my kids

Foreword

Ive literally known Gerald or G as I affectionately call him since he was in the womb. His arrival into this world changed my life and role forever. My little brother, the cry baby. I have so many fond memories of us growing up together. We had each others backs against neighborhood bullies, playing Nintendo as I was always beating him and taking no mess. As we grew, so did our relationship. He went from being an annoying little brother to my best friend.

This book is special because it is a true account of how a boy found out how to be a man. So many of our young men are lost and some never truly know what true manhood looks like or walk in it because of a multitude of reasons as they lack guidance and role models.

Gerald likes to say that were twins because we literally experienced some of lifes toughest challenges at the same time. Weve laughed, weve cried, weve argued, but most importantly, weve loved.

I am so proud to introduce this work of manhood masterpiece to you. This will be used as a blueprint of what being a flawed man and growing into a better man looks like. Its okay not to have it all figured out. Its okay to fall because that rise back up is a journey like no other. Im proud of you brother and I am proud of the man youve grown to become and the even greater man you will grow to be.

Lessons are to be learned so that we can bless someone else with our stories and they too can use our lessons to learn and grow. Thank you for having the fortitude to walk in your truth, live in the light, and share your journey so that others can be blessed too.

Your proud Big lil Sis,

Kendra Garcia

Chapter 1

New Man

Your success has to be measured against yourself a decade ago, last year, or yesterday - Michael Gerber

T he New Man, what does that mean? Weve been taught by society what the role of a man is, and the ways to conduct ourselves as a real man should do. Dont cry Man, fight back Man, and show no emotions Man. Who made this the guideline to manhood? I believe that by writing this book, I will open up another dimension to what manhood entails. I hope to spark the first wave of evolution to the New Man. Im not claiming to be the perfect man or to have it all figured out, but my failures opened up my perspective to what it will take for me to become a better man. I failed at what I thought manhood consisted of. Ive looked in the mirror and I didnt recognize the person I saw looking back at me. Somehow over the years, I lost sight of who I was and what I stood for. Like so many men in todays society, I didnt have a good example of what a man looked like or what he should be. My father was present, but we didnt have a connection, in fact, I felt as if I didnt even know the man my father was. I tried on multiple occasions to spark an interest in my father about my life goals, but instead of feeding me with motivations to achieve even the most difficult dreams, my father would tell me not to chase my dreams and get a job with benefits. I realized I couldnt expect more from a man who didnt want more for himself or his family. I remember asking him why he wasnt there for me, and he stated it was because he didnt have a father. How can the man I looked to impress overlook me? My father stands 5 foot 4 inches tall, but to me (at that time) he was a giant. The person who Im supposed to model my manhood afterward didnt have a manhood for himself. I figured I inherited this identity confusion from him. It wasnt until recently that I was able to connect with a part of me I never knew existed. My emotions were so deeply buried that it took me 34 years to dig them up. Now Im able to feel what life is all about so I can give and receive the type of love that the New Man has to offer to the world. I was a victim to society and the offspring of my father's failures. But now, I no longer have the victim mentality because I see myself as the victor. This book isnt just about me telling you theories, quotes, and stories about becoming the New Man, but about documenting my journey as I became the New Man.

This transition has been a tough one thus far, Im not going to lie. I had to eradicate the person I was in order to become the person I wanted to be. The first part of this process for me was self-reflecting, and understanding who I really was, and why I was in the predicament I was in. I had to take responsibility of my failures. I had to feel and deal with the pain I dished out and it was a hard pill to swallow. For the vast majority of my life, I was selfish with my feelings and my actions reflected it, but it wasnt intentional. To me, I was just protecting my sanity. Even though I was sort of selfish with my emotions, I still consider myself to be a genuine guy. I have never had ill intentions to hurt people, but when I feel the need to protect myself, anybody is subjected to the hurt that comes along with it. I hated that about myself because I kept my feelings buried for so long that it caused me to hurt loved ones, good friends, and myself. I realized I was the primary cause of all the pain in my life. All my wounds were self-inflicted. At that moment when I looked into the mirror while dealing with the pain I caused myself, and the heartbreak I caused my ex-wife, I was devastated. How did I get here? I asked every time I glanced into the mirror. Every time I woke up, I would wish I could start over. I damaged my integrity, the very thing I valued myself for having. Being an honest person, trustworthy, faithful, and a great friend was all compromised by my selfish actions. My loved ones lost trust in me, my marriage went down the drain, and I lost great friendships I valued for most of my adult life. I could no longer trust myself. You know, sometimes you can be your own devil in life.