Doug Hensch - Positively Resilient: 5 1/2 Secrets to Beat Stress, Overcome Obstacles, and Defeat Anxiety

Do not judge me by my successes; judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again.

NELSON MANDELA

Several years ago, I spoke with a prominent author about my idea for this book about resilience. My secret plan was to self-publish the book and check it off of my bucket list. However, the author began our conversation by saying, Whatever you do, dont self-publish. She went on to talk about the benefits of having a publisher and I could feel my heart rate increase. The idea of pitching this to publishers scared me.

A short time later, I had coffee with two-time author (and one of the best coaches I know), Anne Loehr. Again, I told Anne about my idea for the book and that I was considering the self-publishing route. Anne also gave me several good reasons to find a publisher. In short, get a good publisher and you produce a higher quality book that can reach more people. My heart rate shot through the roof again.

What was going on? Why was I having this strong physiological reaction to finding a publisher? I spent some time meditating and came to the conclusion that my rationale for pursuing the self-publishing route was simply my way of avoiding rejection. Put another way, it was (in this case) a non-resilient way to address the situation. I realized that my (unrealistic) fear of failure (rejection from publishers) was driving me to possibly write an inferior book.

The lessons in that story are central to this book. Resilience is a foundational quality that can affect our behavior and our psychology in ways that we do not recognize. It is critical to any meaningful relationship and achievement. And you are already resilient. You may not react effectively in certain situations, but if you pause and think about it, you took the action of getting out of bed today, buying this book, and taking the time to read it. I would think it is safe to say that you have effectively handled some very difficult situations in your life. At the same time, we all have room for improvement. A nudge here and a nudge there can result in significant payback for us.

This book is not meant to be the definitive authority on the subject of resilience. There is so much more to be researched and written on the subject. I wrote this because I do not have all the answers and I wanted to share what I have learned from scientists, thought leaders, my executive coaching practice, my experience as a coach of various sports, and being a dad.

Finally, please do not read this with the purpose of alleviating the distress in your life. If you commit to learning and experimenting with some of what is offered on these pages, you just may be more effective in your pursuit of meaningful goals, which end up dragging you to higher levels of happiness and satisfaction with life.