Shannon L. Alder - 300 questions to ask your parents before its too late

2011 Shannon Alder

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ISBN 13: 978-0-88290-978-3

Published by Horizon Publishers, an imprint of Cedar Fort, Inc., 2373 W. 700 S., Springville, UT 84663 Distributed by Cedar Fort, Inc., www.cedarfort.com

LIBRARY OF CONGRESS CATALOGING-IN-PUBLICATION DATA

Alder, Shannon L., author.

300 questions to ask your parents before its too late / Shannon L. Alder.

pages cm

ISBN 978-0-88290-978-3 (alk. paper)

1. Christian life--Mormon authors. 2. Life skills. 3. Parents--Death. I. Title. II. Title: Three hundred questions to ask your parents before its too late.

BV4501.3.A434 2011
204.4--dc22

2010045532

Cover design by Danie Romrell
Cover design 2011 by Lyle Mortimer
Edited and typeset by Melissa J. Caldwell

Printed in the United States of America

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Printed on acid-free paper

The unexamined life is not worth living.

SOCRATES

I dedicate this book to my dad. He has given me many great quotes like the one above. He has left me with a legacy of wisdom and I will always love him for teaching me to not walk blindly through life but to seek out the lessons others have experienced and apply what they have learned in my own life. Every person has a story to tell and we can learn from it.

And I am also thankful to my mother. You taught me that I did not need to travel far for the best lessons in life.

Jesus Christ had the best stories to tell. Without him my life would have no meaning.

He who knows all the answers has not been
asked all the questions.

AUTHOR UNKNOWN

We often learn great lessons in simple
and everyday ways.

PEARL S. BUCK

W hen my father suffered a heart attack and underwent a triple bypass in 2010, I flew to Arizona to be by his side. This truly insightful man taught me that wisdom was the most important thing we take with us when we depart this world. So always seek it in life! he would say. He pushed me to pursue a career and encouraged me to write books that will inspire others to be better. He encouraged me to read every new age book in order to gain unique perspectives on life before forming my own opinion, and to attend all kinds of workshops that would teach me enlightenment. He was and is a unique person who walked to the beat of his own drum.

As I sat there, my fragile father hooked up to several IVs in his hospital room, all I could think of was my own mortality and what legacy I would leave my children. I wondered what I would tell my children of this man who meant so much to me. He was a man of few words, but when he did speak to me, it was always in parables or stories, not unlike all the Zen, Sufi, Subud, and Buddhist books that filled the bookshelves of his den. I often felt he was more like a Shaolin priest and that I was his Grasshopper rather than his daughter. Now that old age and illness had stolen my fathers remaining years, I felt somehow empty. I sat at his bedside, watching the nurses attending to him, and I felt a growing anxiety. The realization that my father was still a mystery to me was beginning to sink in. There were so many more things that I didnt know about him. And, sadly, the hour was growing too late.

With a family of my own and hundreds of miles between us, my father and I had grown to be strangers over the years. Nevertheless, I still wondered about him. What were his opinions on so many topics we had failed to discuss? How did he view his life up to this point? Had he said all he wanted to say to his children and grandchildren? What lessons had he not had a chance to teach me? At the age of forty, I still felt that pupil in me wanting direction from her lifes teacher, but because of his illnesses, the communication we once had seemed to fade away.

My friends, learn from my story. Do not let those great lessons and bits of wisdom from your parents be forgotten. More often than not, old family stories and great experiences are lost forever because they are not written down. Because of this, most of us live without a sense of deep roots. We know little about our parents and what they learned in life. We all have camcorders and scrapbooks to record special occasions in our lives, but the photographs and videotapes cannot tell what we felt, how a moment changed us, or why it mattered.

One thing I have learned is that our stories are intrinsically woven together with our parents. What they do is part of your story. What you do is part of theirs. As we move through our lives, we carry with us stories that shaped our souls. We may forget them, deny or change them, smile or suffer over them, but, like spells or charms, these stories bring back a sense of who we were and how we came to be the people weve become. In reviewing the many family history journals out there, I noticed that many asked simple questions such as What is your favorite food? or What chores did you do while growing up? These may be interesting facts to know about your parents, but they dont dig at the heart of who these people truly werewhat they believed in, what their outlook on life was, and what lessons they wanted their children to learn. These are the questions I have compiled for you in this bookall the wisdom your parents have learned and want you to know.

Your children want to hear stories to reassure them that the inner strength they can muster will be sufficient against self-doubt, loss, grief, and disappointment because they know their loved ones have walked in a similar path. Your children want to know what was important to you. What lessons did you learn? How did you come to this place in your life? It doesnt matter how humble or exaltedwhat matters is how you got there.

Fill the pages of this book with all the thoughts you want your children to learn from you. When youre done with this book, you will hold in your hands a marvelous keepsake filled with memories, wisdom, stories, opinions, and feelings that made up every step of your life. You will be able to say, This is all my wisdom. This is my storymy legacy to my children.

My father once said, When I stand before God at the end of my life, I hope that I will not have a single bit of wisdom left to share and will be able to say, I gave all my wisdom to my children. Let your wisdom be your legacy that your children will remember and use as guiding light through their own lives. Namaste.