Erin Munroe - The Everything Guide to Stepparenting: Practical, reassuring advice for creating healthy, long-lasting relationships

THE
EVERYTHING
GUIDE TO
STEPPARENTING

Dear Reader,
I was clueless when I first became a stepparent. I didnt even know what to do when I started dating a parent! I didnt think it would be any different than dating someone without a child. I was in for a surprisea pleasant surprise! My future stepson was relatively shy, so any undesirable comments he may have had for me were left in his head, or announced out of my company. When we first met, I had no idea how to act, or how to converse with him. As a child and adolescent therapist, I thought I would breeze through our meeting, but all of my training went out the window when I was on the spot. Eventually we figured it out, and now have a great time together. I had no idea I could fall in love with someone in such a genuine and caring way. I hope that you also have a positive experience. Dont try to make everything perfectit never will be and your stepchild probably doesnt expect it to be. Have fun, be honest and considerate, and you are on your way to having a great steprelationship.

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THE
EVERYTHING
GUIDE TO
STEPPARENTING

Practical, reassuring advice for creating
healthy, long-lasting relationships

Erin A. Munroe, LMHC
with Irene S. Levine, PhD

Copyright 2009 by F+W Media, Inc. All rights reserved.

This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced in any form without permission from the publisher; exceptions are made for brief excerpts used in published reviews.

An Everything Series Book.

Everything and everything.com are registered trademarks of F+W Media, Inc.

Published by Adams Media, a division of F+W Media, Inc.

57 Littlefield Street, Avon, MA 02322 U.S.A.

www.adamsmedia.com

ISBN 10: 1-60550-055-0
ISBN 13: 978-1-60550-055-3
eISBN: 978-1-60550-716-3

Printed in the United States of America.

J I H G F E D C B A

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available from the publisher.

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I am dedicating this book to my fabulous stepson, Jim. Without him,
I would not be a stepmom. He allowed me to test out all my
parenting theories on himsome successful, some not so successful.
Thank you, Jim, for being my tolerant and patient guinea pig.

Contents

1 What Is a Stepparent?

2 Dating a Parent

3 When and How to Meet the Child(ren)

4 The Other Biological Parent

5 Moving In

6 Getting Married

7 Creating Memories with Your Stepchild

8 Rules and Discipline

9 The Infant and Toddler Stepchild

10 The Young Stepchild

11 The Teen Stepchild

12 The Adult Stepchild

13 Legal and Money Issues

14 Managing Family Events

15 Stepsiblings

16 Adding to the Family

17 The Various Relationships

18 Tough Decisions

19 Your Extended Family and Your Stepchild

20 Unforeseen Problems

21 In the Event of Divorce

Resources

Acknowledgments

I would like to thank so many people: my husband, who hid my cell phone and screened phone calls so I could write and not procrastinate. My stepson, who is the reason I know all about stepparenting and enjoyed it! My parents, who have always supported whatever I did. Family and friends who supported me and sometimes helped me procrastinate. My agent and mentor, Janice, who believes in me and laughs at my escapades. My high school guidance counselor, Mr. King, who got me out of high school successfully. Professor Helen Whall at Holy Cross, who was determined to make me believe in myself while teaching me better than any other. Dan Shaughnessy and Clark Booth, for entertaining my dreams and reminding me that you will never be a successful writer if you dont share your work with others. My dog Simon, who rocks.

Each one of them has encouraged, supported, and inspired me. Without them I simply could not have accomplished this and most likely would not have even attempted to share my writing with anyone. I also dont know that I could have been a successful stepparent without their support and guidance. It does take a village to raise a child, and my fellow villagers gave me the tools I needed to figure out how to be a stepparent.