Laura Davis - Becoming the Parent You Want to Be: A Sourcebook of Strategies for the First Five Years

What the experts are saying:

This unusually thorough book provides todays parents with rich and abundant insights for discerning and fostering wholeness in their children. This is an enormously helpful resource which sheds light on many issues that are not addressed in other books on parenting.

P OLLY B ERRIEN B ERENDS , author of Whole Child, Whole Parent; Gently Lead; and Coming to Life

Through simple, direct language, touching human stories, and clear messages, the authors reveal sensitivity, understanding, and in-depth knowledge of both childrens and parents development. They know what is required for children and parents to grow and flourish. I think it will become a classic among books for parents.

B ERNICE W EISSBOURD , President, Board of Directors, Family Resource Coalition

Loving and inspiring, Becoming the Parent You Want to Be is a very helpful and hopeful book for the first five years.

W AYNE D yer , author of Your Sacred Self

I am impressed by this books thoughtful approach to the underlying issues of childrearingthe continual challenge to be and raise good people in a changing world. The diversity of families, children, and cultures in contemporary society is front and center in this book.

E LIZABETH J ONES , Ph.D., Faculty, Human Development, Pacific Oaks College

This wise guide will help mothers and fathers discover and value their own unique parenting styles. I recommend it highly.

J AMES A. L EVINE , Ed.D., Director, The Fatherhood Project, Families and Work Institute, New York City

Becoming the Parent You Want to Be is sensitive to the needs of modern parents and offers practical advice for real problems. The real world stories and examples are a treasure-trove for parents looking for help. Im going to recommend it to my colleagues and patients.

K ATHI J. K EMPER , M.D., M.P.H., author of The Holistic Pediatrician

In addition to being lively, encyclopedic, and reader-friendly, this is a useful guide for parents who want to reclaim their role in the new TV-dominated cultural environment.

G EORGE G ERBNER , Dean Emeritus, The Annenberg School for Communication, Director, The Cultural Indicators Project

Instead of prescribing a right way to raise children, Becoming the Parent You Want to Be offers parents a wealth of ways to experiment, explore, and grow along with their children. I recommend this excellent resource wholeheartedly for parents, teachers, child care workers, foster parents, and anyone exploring their own early childhood.

C HARLOTTE K ASL , Ph.D., author of Finding Joy and A Home for the Heart: Creating Intimacy and Community with Loved Ones, Neighbors, and Friends

A masterpiece of wisdom! Its easy to give advice and to treat parents as if they were all alike; but they arent. Its a challenge to respond to them in all their diversity. The authors have risen to the challenge admirably.

J ANET G ONZALES -M ENA , author of Dragon Mom: Confessions of a Child Development Expert

What parents are saying:

Love drives this book.

Becoming the Parent You Want to Be is a little like being with a childthought-provoking, challenging, and enriching; heartfelt, complex, and multifaceted.

Your book is like a parent support group in print. One that is always available when its 3:00 A.M. and youre tearing your hair out.

After reading your book I feel so much more at ease dealing with family conflicts and crisis. I can actually smile now whenever I start to hear my children arguing in the background.

If every parent could read this book, wed have a much better world.

Dear Reader:
We regret that we are unable to answer individual letters or phone calls. We do read our mail, however, and if you have feedback or responses to this book, wed be happy to hear from you. Janis offers lectures and workshops for parents as well as training for professionals. If you are interested in bringing her to your area, or if you want to be on our mailing list, send a note to the address below.

Laura Davis and Janis Keyser
P.O. Box 4097
Santa Cruz, CA 95063-4097

BECOMING THE PARENT YOU WANT TO BE. Copyright 1997 by Laura Davis and Janis Keyser. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without written permission from the publisher.
For information, address Broadway Books, a division of Bantam Doubleday Dell Publishing Group, Inc.
1540 Broadway, New York, NY 10036.

Broadway Books titles may be purchased for business or promotional use or for special sales. For information, please write to: Special Markets Department, Bantam Doubleday Dell Publishing Group, Inc., 1540 Broadway, New York, NY 10036.

BROADWAY BOOKS and its logo, a letter B bisected on the diagonal, are trademarks of Broadway Books, a division of Bantam Doubleday Dell Publishing Group, Inc.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Davis, Laura.
Becoming the parent you want to be: a sourcebook of strategies for the
first five years / Laura Davis and Janis Keyser.1st ed.
p. cm.
Includes index.
eISBN: 978-0-307-81677-1
1. Parenting. 2. Child rearing. I. Keyser, Janis. II. Title.
HQ755.8.D376 1997
649.1DC20 96-12035
CIP

v3.1_r2

To my sons,
Bryan Rawles and Eli Bristol Davis,
for walking me down this road

L A U R A D A V I S

To my children,
Lee John, Calvin Lee, and Maya Nell,
for keeping me honest

J A N I S K E Y S E R

Laura Davis:
The Parent I Wanted to Be

Janis Keyser:
The Teacher I Wanted to Be

This book could not exist without parents. In Janiss classes, in interview groups, and one-on-one, hundreds of parents have shared with us their dilemmas, their struggles, and their joys. Without their collective honesty, commitment, and wisdom, this book would not be possible.

The principles and strategies presented in this book draw upon the research and theories of many visionary thinkers in the areas of child and parent development. Jean Piaget, Erik Erikson, James Hymes, and T. Berry Brazelton have provided much of the basis of the developmental information about children we present in this book. Magda Gerber has contributed specific expertise on infants and toddlers. We have also drawn from research on parents and families by Ellen Galinsky, Virginia Satir, Uri Bronfenbrenner, and Patty Wipfler. We appreciate their contributions to all families.

Together wed like to thank:

Janet Goldstein, our editor, for supporting and nurturing this seed all the way to fruition.

Betsy Thorpe, for hard work, good cheer, and diplomacy.