Leland Gregory - Stupid Sports

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Stupid Sports copyright 2013 by Leland Gregory. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of reprints in the context of reviews.

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Other Books by Leland Gregory

Whats the Number for 911?

Whats the Number for 911 Again?

The Stupid Crook Book

Hey, Idiot!

Idiots at Work

Bush-Whacked

Idiots in Love Am-Bushed!

Stupid History

Idiots in Charge

Cruel and Unusual Idiots

Whats the Number for 911?: Second Edition

Stupid American History

Stupid Science

Stupid California

Stupid Texas

Stupid on the Road

Canaduh

United Kingdumb

You Betcha!

Stupid Christmas

S Is for Stupid

Stupid Liberals

Stupid Conservatives

Stupid Ancient History

TWOS COMPANY

April 17, 1993the Baltimore Orioles versus the California Angels. It was a play that had all the makings of a grand slam. The bases were loaded, and the Orioles only had one man out. Mike Devereaux stepped up to the plate and cracked the ball as hard as he could. The second the leather hit the wood, the runner at third, Jeff Tackett, headed for home. But Devereauxs line drive didnt make it to the wall and was caught by the Angels center fielder. Tackett shook his head and trotted back to third base. But when he got there, he noticed his teammate, Brady Anderson, the runner from second, was standing on third. And standing next to Anderson was Chito Martinezthe runner from first. The Angels catcher, John Orton, tagged all three, and two were called out for a double play that ended the inning. Sports Illustrated called it the stupidest play of the year. It wouldnt have been the stupidest play until Chito arrived at third, said the Angels third baseman. I think he thought there was a fight, so he ran across the field to get in it. Remember, folks: The players who hang out together get called out together.Id rather win two or three, loseone, win two or three more. Im a great believer in things evening out. If you win a whole bunch in a row, somewhere along the line youre going to lose some, too.

Id rather win two or three, loseone, win two or three more. Im a great believer in things evening out. If you win a whole bunch in a row, somewhere along the line youre going to lose some, too.

Los Angeles Dodgers manager Walt Smokey Alston,Los Angeles Times, May 7, 1976

THE FINAL SHOT

In 1974, NBA scoring star Pistol Pete Maravich told reporterAndy Nuzzo of the Beaver County (Pennsylvania) Times, Idont want to play 10 years [in the NBA] and then die of a heart attack when Im 40. Maravich played an impressive 10 yearsin the league and retired in 1980. Eight years later, on January5, 1988, Maravich was playing a pickup game at the First Church of the Nazarene in Pasadena, California, when he suffered a major heart attack and diedhe was 40 years old. An autopsy revealed that Maravich suffered from an undiagnosed congenital heart defect that could have ended his career and his life at any time. His last words before collapsing were, I feel great.

Teen golfers chargedwith giving their teammate a wedgie.

USA Today headline, March 28, 2007

A LONG LEAP

Competing in the 1924 Winter Olympics held in Chamonix, France, Norwegian-American ski jumper Anders Haugenbarely missed a medal and finished a close fourth. For Haugen, February 1, 1924, was a day hed never forget, and so was September 12, 1974. Whats so special about that date? Thats when history was changed. You see, Norwegian sports historian Jakob Vaage had gone over the results of the 1924 Games and noticed a scoring errorHaugen had actually qualified to win bronze. So on September 12, 1974, eighty-five-year-old Haugen came to Norway to accept his long overdue Bronze medal.

NOT QUITE PAR FOR THE COURSE

January 6, 1968, is a day that will live in infamy for English pro golfer Brian Barnes. On the par-4 eighth hole in the French Open Golf Tournament, his ball lay an easy three feet from the cup,and a confident Barnes took aim and fired. But his aim was off, and the ball glanced off the edge. Needless to say, he was a little perturbed. To show his frustration, he backhanded the ballit missed the hole again and he missed the bogey. It seemed asif Barness ball was repelled by the cup, and he batted it back and forth a dozen times, sometimes while the ball was still moving. Finally, he sank the ball, but chalking up the strokes and penalties, he wound up with 11-over-par and a historical record the most putts ever taken on a single hole in a pro tournament.

Two men filed a lawsuit againstthe stadiums concession stand at a Philadelphia Phillies baseball game claiming the bartender failed to fill their cups of beer to the rim.

Ocala Star-Banner, May 8, 1998

A SWING AND A MISS

On October 19, 2011, during Game 1 of the World Series between the American League champion Texas Rangers and the National League champion St. Louis Cardinals, play-by-play announcer Joe Buck mentioned that Cardinals relief pitcher Marc Rzepczynskis nickname was Scrabble because of his letter-intensive last name. Fellow broadcaster Tim McCarver chimed in by saying, Its a five-letter word: S-T-R-I-K-E.

Former Olympic gymnast Paul Hamm was arrested for kicking and punching a taxi driver and damaging the cab window after refusing to pay a $23 fare for his ride home.

CHECK, PLEASE!

Dave Forbes, a Boston Bruins defenseman, has the distinction of being the first NHL player ever charged with criminal assault for actions during a game. Forbes butt-ended Henry Boucha of the Minnesota North Stars in a January 4, 1975, game, fracturing Bouchas cheekbone and opening a gash over his eye, which required thirty stitches. Boucha suffered blurred vision fromthe incident and never fully recovered. Forbes was arrested and charged with aggravated assault, facing up to five years in prison and a $5,000 fine. However, the nine-day trial ended with ahung jury, and the prosecution chose not to pursue a second jury hearing of the case. So the charges against Forbes were dropped.