Smalley Greg - Ready to wed : 12 ways to start a marriage youll love
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- Book:Ready to wed : 12 ways to start a marriage youll love
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- Publisher:Focus on the Family;Tyndale House Publishers, Inc
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- Year:2015
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Youre engaged, and the checklist for the day of your dreams is a mile long. In the who, what, where, and how of planning, the why can be forgotten.
Ready to Wed discusses 12 Traits of a thriving marriage and offers a variety of topics to guide and advise those preparing to say, I do!
Learn to:
- Define a vision statement unique to your marriage.
- Positively engage conflict to build a foundation of trust and forgiveness.
- Leave and cleave, even if you are a child of divorce.
- Manage expectationsand your in-laws!
- Navigate hot-button issues including, sex and the chore wars.
- Cope with change, stress, and crisisespecially in your first year.
- Build a community of support and find mentors.
- Assess your progress using the Couple Checkup.
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At Focus on the Family, I have the privilege of working with Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley on a regular basis. When it comes to marriage and relationships, they know their stuff! And they have assembled an amazing team of like-minded Christian marriage experts for this practical and readable volume. Trust me, if youre planning to get married, you need to read this book first. You and your spouse-to-be will be so glad you did.
JIM DALY
President of Focus on the Family
Marriage is a glorious but sometimes difficult journey for a man and a woman. I am thankful Greg wrote this book, and I believe it will become a trusted guide for couples who want a solid foundation for their relationship.
BRADY BOYD
Pastor of New Life Church and author of Addicted to Busy
Wow, what a treasure trove! All the best premarital wisdom from all my favorite marriage leaders. Every engaged couple should schedule a short break from auditioning DJs for their reception and read this during that time. It will be the best possible investment they can make.
SHAUNTI FELDHAHN
Social researcher and bestselling author of For Women Only and For Men Only
Striking the perfect balance between practical, instructional, inspirational, and spiritual advice, Ready to Wed will immediately take its place as one of the most important and valuable resources available for Christian couples who want to start their marriage off right. Highly recommended.
GARY THOMAS
Author of Sacred Marriage and A Lifelong Love
Ready to Wed:12 Ways to Start a Marriage Youll Love
Copyright 2015 by Focus on the Family
Illustrations copyright 2015 by Focus on the Family
A Focus on the Family book published by Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188
Focus on the Family and the accompanying logo and design are federally registered trademarks of Focus on the Family, 8605 Explorer Drive, Colorado Springs, CO 80920.
TYNDALE and Tyndales quill logo are registered trademarks of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or otherwise without prior written permission of Focus on the Family.
All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide. Scripture quotations marked AMP are taken from the Amplified Bible, copyright 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. Scripture quotations marked ESV are taken from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version (ESV), copyright 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked MSG are taken from The Message, copyright by Eugene H. Peterson 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked NASB are taken from the New American Standard Bible, copyright 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. Scripture quotations marked NKJV are taken from the New King James Version, copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004, 2007, 2013 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.
The use of material from or references to various websites does not imply endorsement of those sites in their entirety. Availability of websites and pages is subject to change without notice.
In some cases, peoples names and certain details of their stories have been changed to protect the privacy of the individuals involved. However, the facts of what happened and the underlying principles have been conveyed as accurately as possible.
Editor: Brandy Bruce
Cover photograph of frame copyright Elke Vogelsang/Getty Images. All rights reserved.
Cover photograph of blackboard copyright Les Cunliffe/Dollarphotoclub. All rights reserved.
Cover photograph of rings copyright Lonely/Dollarphotoclub. All rights reserved.
Interior lock icon by Andy Fuchs, dollar-sign icon by iconsmind.com, piggy-bank icon by Igor Yanovskiy, dice icon by Alex Fuller, and airplane icon from the Noun Project.
Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available through the Library of Congress.
ISBN 978-1-62405-406-8
Build: 2015-08-20 09:34:26
P LANNING FOR THE DAY or for a lifetime?
This question was written with big cursive lettering on a booth display that Erin and I (Greg) used at bridal fairs to advertise our premarital seminars. It was always so much fun to watch not only the prospective brides but also their mothers walk by and testify in their most sassy voices, Mm-hmm!
You see, rarely did we get any brides to stop at our booth. Each bride was so busy planning for her special day the dress, the cake, the venue, the photographer, the honeymoon she hardly gave much thought to planning for her future marriage. Sadly, only about 35 to 40 percent of engaged couples will receive quality premarital education. And by quality, we mean at least eight to ten hours of instruction from someone who has been equipped to do so. This is so unfortunate because the premarital research is so strong. Note these remarkable statistics:
- Youre 30 percent less likely to get divorced if you get some sort of premarital training before you marry.
- Eighty percent of the couples who received premarital training stayed together.
- Couples who participate in premarital programs experience a 30 percent increase in marital satisfaction over those who dont participate.
The moms who were walking around with their daughters at the bridal fair understood this, and thats why the majority of the tickets we sold were to the mothers as gifts to their daughters and future sons-in-law.
But youre different! Were certain youre also thinking of your future with your fianc(e) especially since you are reading this book. Thats why were thrilled that in the midst of all you have going on, youre also spending time working on your relationship. Its so exciting that youre taking time to participate in Focus on the Familys Ready to Wed experience. Our desire is to help you grow a strong marriage relationship that will last a lifetime.
Over the years, I (Greg) have been blessed to officiate at several wedding ceremonies. But Ill never forget my first. Erin and I did premarital counseling with this one couple during their engagement period. As I thought about what I would say to them during the ceremony, I decided that I wanted to give them a creative picture of how to build a strong marriage relationship. I had sat through one too many wedding ceremonies where I could barely keep my eyes open during the teaching portion. So I developed what I thought was a powerful analogy of a strong marriage, using the brides wedding bouquet. The key point I wanted to make was that it takes time and care to mature seeds (where their marriage was starting out) into a beautiful bouquet (a strong marriage). I thought I was so clever!
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