At Focus on the Family, I have the privilege of working with Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley on a regular basis. When it comes to marriage and relationships, they know their stuff! And they have assembled an amazing team of like-minded Christian marriage experts for this practical and readable volume. Trust me, if youre planning to get married, you need to read this book first. You and your spouse-to-be will be so glad you did.
JIM DALY
President of Focus on the Family
Marriage is a glorious but sometimes difficult journey for a man and a woman. I am thankful Greg wrote this book, and I believe it will become a trusted guide for couples who want a solid foundation for their relationship.
BRADY BOYD
Pastor of New Life Church and author of Addicted to Busy
Wow, what a treasure trove! All the best premarital wisdom from all my favorite marriage leaders. Every engaged couple should schedule a short break from auditioning DJs for their reception and read this during that time. It will be the best possible investment they can make.
SHAUNTI FELDHAHN
Social researcher and bestselling author of For Women Only and For Men Only
Striking the perfect balance between practical, instructional, inspirational, and spiritual advice, Ready to Wed will immediately take its place as one of the most important and valuable resources available for Christian couples who want to start their marriage off right. Highly recommended.
GARY THOMAS
Author of Sacred Marriage and A Lifelong Love
Ready to Wed:12 Ways to Start a Marriage Youll Love
Copyright 2015 by Focus on the Family
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A Focus on the Family book published by Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188
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INTRODUCTION
Dr. Greg Smalley and Erin Smalley
P LANNING FOR THE DAY or for a lifetime?
This question was written with big cursive lettering on a booth display that Erin and I (Greg) used at bridal fairs to advertise our premarital seminars. It was always so much fun to watch not only the prospective brides but also their mothers walk by and testify in their most sassy voices, Mm-hmm!
You see, rarely did we get any brides to stop at our booth. Each bride was so busy planning for her special day the dress, the cake, the venue, the photographer, the honeymoon she hardly gave much thought to planning for her future marriage. Sadly, only about 35 to 40 percent of engaged couples will receive quality premarital education. And by quality, we mean at least eight to ten hours of instruction from someone who has been equipped to do so. This is so unfortunate because the premarital research is so strong. Note these remarkable statistics:
- Youre 30 percent less likely to get divorced if you get some sort of premarital training before you marry.
- Eighty percent of the couples who received premarital training stayed together.
- Couples who participate in premarital programs experience a 30 percent increase in marital satisfaction over those who dont participate.
The moms who were walking around with their daughters at the bridal fair understood this, and thats why the majority of the tickets we sold were to the mothers as gifts to their daughters and future sons-in-law.
But youre different! Were certain youre also thinking of your future with your fianc(e) especially since you are reading this book. Thats why were thrilled that in the midst of all you have going on, youre also spending time working on your relationship. Its so exciting that youre taking time to participate in Focus on the Familys Ready to Wed experience. Our desire is to help you grow a strong marriage relationship that will last a lifetime.
Growing a Strong Marriage
Over the years, I (Greg) have been blessed to officiate at several wedding ceremonies. But Ill never forget my first. Erin and I did premarital counseling with this one couple during their engagement period. As I thought about what I would say to them during the ceremony, I decided that I wanted to give them a creative picture of how to build a strong marriage relationship. I had sat through one too many wedding ceremonies where I could barely keep my eyes open during the teaching portion. So I developed what I thought was a powerful analogy of a strong marriage, using the brides wedding bouquet. The key point I wanted to make was that it takes time and care to mature seeds (where their marriage was starting out) into a beautiful bouquet (a strong marriage). I thought I was so clever!