Bill Eddy - 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life: Identifying and Dealing with Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Other High-Conflict Personalities

[This] brilliant book on high-conflict personalities saves us from trusting the wrong people and making the worst relationship mistakes at work, at home, and in our lives. You need this information today!

R ANDI K REGER , bestselling author of Stop Walking on Eggshells and The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder

5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life is a must read for the average person dealing with a high-conflict individual at home or at work. It is also essential reading for counselors, lawyers, judges, mediators, physicians, and virtually all other helping professionals.

N ANCY V AN D YKEN , author of Everyday Narcissism

Essential. Entertaining. Easy. If youve ever been the deer in the searchlight, frozen by excessive language or wildly inappropriate actions, this book is your lifesaver. Just one high-conflict person in your life can steal your peace of mind for years. With memorable acronyms, readable prose, and clear examples, you can know exactly what to do to get back to safety. I may lend my copy, I may buy ten copies for people I love, but I will not give my copy away. Im keeping it as my get-out-of-trouble-free guide.

A NNE K ATHARINE , author of Boundaries in an Overconnected World

Must. Read. The beauty of this much-needed book by Bill Eddy lies in its elegant simplicity, its specific and straightforward approach to understanding, identifying, and defusing high-conflict behavior. Bills anecdotes, sample statements, and easy-to-remember techniques show readers how to protect themselves, set boundaries, and communicate limitsall with compassion and respect.

K IMBERLEE R OTH , coauthor of Surviving a Borderline Parent: How to Heal Childhood Wounds and Build Trust, Boundaries, and Self-Esteem

Bill Eddy translates for everyone the wisdom hes shared with lawyers, therapists, judges, human resource directors and other professionals about how to deal with highly challenging personalities we encounter in our daily lives. By providing us with proven techniques for handling people with these psychological disorders, Bill helps save us from months and years of frustration, heartache and agony.

D ENNIS L . S HARP , Esq., LLM, mediator, Sharp Resolutions

What a terrific resource and reference book. This self-help manual will assist readers in dealing with destructive personalities in a positive way. This is a must read for everyone, and particularly for those in professions dealing with high-conflict personalities on a regular basis. What I love about it is that it is simple, clear, and easy to rememberreally a step-by-step guide in how to deal with destructive personalities in order to avoid causing them more distress and how to escape becoming their victim.

S USAN P . F INLAY , Judge of the Superior Court, ret., San Diego, California

Like so many of Bill Eddys past books, so useful, practical, and easy to read, this book will change your life. Having a personal relationship with a high-conflict person, who can be a serial relationship killer, is a scenario destined to ruin your life. This book is a comprehensive how to protect yourself by understanding how high-conflict persons act and behave and how to disengage in ways designed to protect those persons who have been targeted.

S HELDON E . F INMAN , Esq., family law attorney

We have all encountered high-conflict personalitiesin our personal lives, at work, and in our neighborhoods. 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life provides the reader with both a blueprint and the necessary tools to successfully survive these challenging people. We cant change their personalities, but with this book we can learn how to effectively manage them.

D ENNIS D OYLE , PhD, retired Superintendent of Schools

Bill Eddy has written an excellent commonsense guidebook that provides behavioral maps of what is going on and what can be done about it. The heart of 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life is the gift of a better future that it offers all of us who struggle with high-conflict personalities.

J OHN D ENNIS

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Copyright 2018 by Bill Eddy

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Eddy, William A., author.

Title: 5 types of people who can ruin your life : identifying and dealing with narcissists, sociopaths, and other high-conflict personalities / Bill Eddy.

Other titles: Five types of people who can ruin your life

Description: New York : TarcherPerigee, [2018] | Includes bibliographical references and index.

Identifiers: LCCN 2017044386 (print) | LCCN 2017051140 (ebook) | ISBN 9781524705091 (ebook) | ISBN 9780143131366 (alk. paper)

Subjects: LCSH: Interpersonal conflict. | Personality disorders. | Conflict management.

Classification: LCC BF637.I48 (ebook) | LCC BF637.I48 E328 2018 (print) | DDC 158.2dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2017044386

While the author has made every effort to provide accurate telephone numbers, Internet addresses, and other contact information at the time of publication, neither the publisher nor the author assumes any responsibility for errors or for changes that occur after publication. Further, the publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party Web sites or their content.

Some names and identifying characteristics have been changed to protect the privacy of the individuals involved.

Cover design: Nellys Liang

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Dedicated to my many clients who have struggled with family members, coworkers, and others with high-conflict personalities; and to those individuals who realized they had these problems and sought help