Praise for Dating Radar
This highly readable, detailed guide is an indispensable manual to dating in the digital age. When technology has made it so simple to connect, but doesnt supply the wisdom or insight of a personal or community network, caution is more crucial now than ever. The authors offer clear, easy-to-follow advice and convincing stories from their wealth of expertise with high-conflict personalities. This is essential reading for anyone wanting to understand his or her blind spots when looking for love.
ANNE MICHAUD,
author of Why They Stay: Sex Scandals, Deals, and Hidden Agendas of Nine Political Wives
This book is great! As a person who helps people with high-conflict marriages, it does my heart good to have a book with the wisdom of authors like Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter, who try to prevent high-conflict marriages in the first place. People tell me I wish I had known about high-conflict partners 10-12 years ago. To find out about them beforehand is a blessing, which may help people avoid years of hardship in an unhappy marriage with unhappy children. This gives binoculars for people to see beyond their childhood programming. Now they can look with fresh eyes before its too late.
RANDI KREGER,
author of The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder and co-author of Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your
Life Back When Someone You Love Has Borderline
Are you actually going to commit the rest of your life to that charming, good-looking person you found on an app? Are you blindly allowing momentum or neediness or loneliness or sex to push you into a future with a person youve known so briefly? Have you caught yourself rationalizing that he only hit me once or she promised never to do that again or I can change him? Do you secretly worry that the exciting passion of the bedroom could easily turn into the corrosive passion of divorce? Then its time to turn on and tune up your dating radar. Eddy and Hunter have given you the means. Now its up to you to make healthy relationship choices.
BENJAMIN D. GARBER, Ph.D.,
psychologist, author of Holding Tight/Letting Go, and Developmental Psychology for Family Law Professionals
One of the most frustrating things for a divorce lawyer is the inability to help a client understand what went wrong in the relationship, so healing can start and the same mistakes arent repeated. Megan Hunter and Bill Eddys book explains, and goes far beyond dating advice: its the equivalent of 20/20 foresight about relationships, delivered in a kind, frank, and intelligent way. This is the kind of book people bring to my office, crying with relief, saying This explains so much.
ANNETTE BURNS,
Attorney and Mediator; President, Association of Family and Conciliation Courts (AFCC)
Megan Hunter and Bill Eddy help readers navigate dating with a common sense approach and avoid the usual pitfalls that keep so many people single. Its an easy read that will surely provide transformative results in the readers dating life.
TAYLOR FRANOIS-BODINE,
Professional Matchmaker
Publishers Note
This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information about the subject matters covered. It is sold with the understanding that neither the authors nor the publisher are rendering legal, mental health, medical, or other professional services, either directly or indirectly. If expert assistance, legal services, or counseling is needed, the services of a competent professional should be sought. Neither the authors nor the publisher shall be liable or responsible for any loss or damage allegedly arising as a consequence of your use or application of any information or suggestions in this book.
Copyright 2017 by Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter
Unhooked Books, LLC
7701 E. Indian School Rd., Ste. F
Scottsdale, AZ 85251
www.unhookedbooks.com
ISBN: 978-1-936268-12-2 eISBN: 978-1-936268-13-9
All Rights Reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, scanned, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, or distributed in any printed or electronic form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of the publisher. Failure to comply with these terms may expose you to legal action and damages for copyright infringement.
Names and identifying information of private individuals have been changed to preserve anonymity.
Cover design by Julian Leon, The Missive
Interior layout by Jeffrey Fuller
Editor: Jess Beebe
Proofreader: Susan LaCroix
Website: www.dating-radar.com
Printed in the United States of America
Also by Bill Eddy
Its All Your Fault! 12 Tips for Managing People
Who Blame Others for Everything
BIFF: Quick Responses to High-Conflict People, Their Personal Attacks, Hostile Email, and Social Media Meltdowns (Second Edition)
So, Whats Your Proposal? Shifting High-Conflict People from
Blaming to Problem-Solving in 30 Seconds
High Conflict People in Legal Disputes
Dont Alienate the Kids! Raising Resilient Children While
Avoiding High Conflict Divorce
Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with
Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Managing High Conflict People in Court
The Future of Family Court
New Ways for Families in Separation and Divorce:
Professional Guidebook
Parent Workbook
Collaborative Parent Workbook
Decision Skills Class Instructors Manual & Workbook
Pre-Mediation Coaching Manual & Workbook
Also by Megan Hunter
Bait & Switch: Saving Your Relationship After
Incredible Romance Turns Into Exhausting Chaos
A NOTE OF CAUTION
TO THE READER
This book provides information about avoiding relationships with people who may have high-conflict personalities. The information provided is intended to help you be more educated and aware of people who may cause relationship problems for you.
Knowledge is power. However, this high-conflict personality information can also be misused, which may inadvertently make your life more difficult. Therefore, we caution you not to publicly label high-conflict people in your life, not to tell people you think they have high-conflict personalities, nor to use this information as a weapon in personal relationships. Before you go further, we ask that you make a commitment to use this information with caution, compassion, and respect.
These explanations and information address general high-conflict behavior and may not apply to your specific situation. You are advised to seek the advice of a professional like a therapist, attorney, or law enforcement officer when warranted.
The authors and publisher are not responsible for any decisions or actions you take as a result of reading this book.
Please use caution in taking steps to terminate existing relationships if you suspect your partner may have a high-conflict personality.
To Alice, who taught me that it IS possible to find a wonderful life partner!
Bill Eddy
To my beautiful mother-in-law, June, a survivor who gave me the gift of Paul, the man who required no radar.